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Posted on Thursday, July 31st, 2008

Dave!As if having my back all jacked up wasn't bad enough.

Yesterday I went to the eye doctor for an exam so I could get new eyeglasses and order some new contact lenses. While I was there, I was asked if I wanted to try some new "dual" lenses which have close-range "reading glasses" built-in. I thought that sounded kind of handy, so I agreed. It was my understanding that these were lenses you wear overnight.

Turns out this is not the case.

I woke up at 4:30am with stabbing pain in my right eye. Realizing that the lenses had adhered to my eyeballs, I ran to the bathroom and started saturating the lenses with saline solution with the hope that they would detach. But it didn't really work out and, by the time I finally managed to slide them off my eyeball, the lenses took a couple of layers off my cornea.

Unbelievable pain.

And I've had kidney stones.

The good news is that suddenly my back pain didn't matter so much.

The bad news is that I spent the next five hours crying my eyes out and taking huge amounts of ibuprofen. The worse news is that most of my day was spent screaming and wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. Eventually things started feeling better, but "better" is a relative term. Right now I am still in great discomfort, but at least I can look at a computer screen for more than five minutes without dying. The eye heals fairly quickly, so I'm hopeful tomorrow will be much better.

In the meanwhile, I am way, way behind on email and blogs.

I don't even want to know what tomorrow brings.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Robin says:

    I have had eye pain—there is NO other kind of pain. When my eyes were hurting, I truly would have done ANYTHING to make it stop. Fortunately, it only lasted a couple of days.

    Feel better soon!

  2. Amanda says:

    I worked for an eye doctor for like 5 years… you should really really get that checked out

  3. Karl says:

    Stories like this are precisely why I won’t wear contacts. Plus, the thought of touching my eyes grosses me out.

  4. Jodi says:

    I’ve done that. It hurts quite a bit.

  5. Poppy says:



  6. jenny says:

    Hey – eye patches are super sexy. I suggest you get one, pronto. Rrrawr!

  7. Catherine says:

    oh, Dave, oh my God. Holy crap do I ever hope you feel better soon, that has got to the be worst. I had to cup my hand over my eyes for a minute after reading that. *rubs your back* (hugs)

  8. Sarah says:

    You poor babe!

    I hope your eyes feel better soon. And your back. And your kidney stone pain.

    You just aren’t having a good week are you?

  9. Mrs RW says:

    I can definitely relate. Last year I jammed a makeup brush into my eye. I immediately knew there was significant damage as besides being blurry, everything looked 10 times dimmer through that eye.

    I taped the eye shut because the blinking is what kills you and called RW to take me to the emergency room. Yup, I had taken a nice chunk out of the cornea, not to mention god knows how much bacteria I had jammed in there as well.

    Thank God for the anesthetic drops they used before examining my eye, but alas, they wouldn’t let me take them home. But the steroid/antibiotic eye drops felt wonderful, too.

    You’re right: the eye heals quickly. By the next day it was 50% improved and by the next day practically normal.

    By the way, I got “progressive vision” contacts a few months ago. They work just like progressive bifocals. Due to my age and drier eyes I can’t wear them for very long, but at least I have them for those times when I want to escape my glasses.

  10. delmer says:

    I’ve fallen asleep with contacts in my eyes just once.

    Never again.

  11. NYCWD says:

    I know your pain.

    And it sucks.

    Feel better!!!

  12. Avitable says:

    You just made my eyes tear up by reading that. Ouch!

  13. adena says:

    I would NEVER consider sleeping in contacts! EEK!

    I have a hard enough time wearing contacts for longer than 5 hours w/o them starting to adhere to my eyes. I must not produce enough eye juice, or something.

    I’ll stick w/ glasses for right now. Besides, they give me that “sexy librarian” look.


  14. Shash says:

    It’s official. After this story I am never getting contacts again. EVER!

    I hope you feel better soon though 🙂


  15. Iron Fist says:

    The part about corneas peeling off made my eyes smart. OUCH.

    Dude, I hope you get better soon. Sounds like you’re having a string of bad luck again.

  16. bah. what do doctors know? You should pray about it. (totally kidding, this is what my mother used to say to me as a kid when I would have something like, say Pneumonia) Hope you are better soon

  17. Holy crap! Owie ow ow ow… I hope you’re right about the speed of the healing of the eye ‘n’ stuff. Ouch with a side of ouch.

  18. ETinNY says:

    Oh Geez, Dave! I can empathize with your problem. I got some new state-of-the-art contacts a couple of years ago and they were so slippery I couldn’t get a grip on them. I’m glad I left them in, didn’t try to claw them out, kept them flooding with drops and ended up sleeping with them in. The next day I went to the optometrist and told ’em to “Get these things out of my eyes!”….. They got them out 1-2-3, fortunately, without any damage. Hope you’re doing better and can read this by now.

  19. Dash says:


    Wow Dave, you’re seriously settings standards of pain I’ve yet to get even close to.

  20. Yeeeoooww! I’ve scratched my cornea before. It hurts!

  21. Alicia says:

    That sounds horrible. Hope you feel better soon.

  22. Dave, it’s just time to trade in for a new body. Seriously.

  23. Wow, and I felt bad for you regarding your back…
    Suddenly the contacts I’m wearing right now are very uncomfortable.

  24. Anything to do with the eyes kind of grosses me out. I went to the eye doctor yesterday and lucky me, I got 2 different kinds of drops that I need to put in my eyes 4 times a day. It was sort of my worst nightmare until I read your post. I feel for you. My problems were almost nothing compared to what you are dealing with! I hope it feels better soon! Hey, at my eye doctor, they put some numbing drops in my eyes, which was amazing. Maybe they could do that for you? Just a thought.

  25. jewelz916 says:

    Is Buddha mad at you or something??? Holy Crap, you have a LOT going on lately!
    I once put my contacts in and accidently used CLEANING solution to wet them. Turns out I burned my cornea…hurt like hell. And one other time I was cutting up jalapenos for tacos, and my eyes starting watering so bad that I couldn’t see. So I decided to take my contacts out…didn’t consider the fact that I had JALAPENO JUICE all over my fingers. After I got one out, I my mistake very quickly. OMG…the PAIN, the BURNING, the WATERING!!! I had to have my hubby take out the other one, and then I laid around whining and crying. We never did eat the damn tacos!
    Good luck….I sure hope your body starts feeling better soon!

  26. Hilly Sue says:

    Gah, I can totally relate to that pain and also the inconvenience of it being in your EYES. It’s like, “hello I need to see!”.

    I hope that today brings more happiness for your corneas.

  27. Finn says:

    OUCH! I’ve experienced that and it sucks. Feel better soon.

  28. Cin says:

    Poor Dave!!!!!!!!!
    feel better:D

  29. etinny says:

    Does this call for a drawing of li’l Dave in sunglasses w/Bad Monkey wearing a seeing-eye harness? Hope you’re feeling better, today.

  30. Robert says:

    I’m a contacts wearer who will never, ever, ever wear them overnight.
    Even lens that say you can…you really shouldn’t. They really should be cleaned, sterilized and soaked overnight, every night.
    Otherwise, it’s a fast easy way to get eye infections.

  31. John says:

    Sorry to hear you’re going through the grinder Dave. I once had a lens displaced on the BACK of my eyeball for about 3 days; finally appeared in the corner of my eye so I could get it out.

    Feel better. : )

  32. ouch! hope your eyes heal quickly and you are free of pain.

    but damn, dude…you need a break!

  33. ChillyWilly says:

    Good thing I don’t wear contacts. I have enough issues with odd dust getting into my eyes to not have added complications from wearing contacts.

  34. kapgar says:

    Took layers off your corneas??? JEZUS KEYRIST! No thank you, sir! Ouch!

    Oh man, just when I think I can’t possibly feel even more sorry for you, you throw this stuff at us. Goddamn. I’m sorry, man.

  35. Tug says:

    OW. You SO need to lock yourself in a room with no sharp objects, contacts, coins…padded walls optional?

  36. This reminds me of my recurring dream that I go to put in my contact and it’s bigger than my eye and I have to lift up my eyelids and cram it in, and on, to my eye. Yeah.

    I hope you feel better soon, sweets.

  37. Lewis says:

    Man oh man, I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles…and in the eye, of all places. That’s not good at all. Wishing you pain-free days ahead.

  38. Kris says:

    Don’t use a spoon. A melon baller is much more efficient.

  39. joy says:

    bloody hell, that sounds awful!!!!

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