I will be the first to admit that this blog is mostly frivolous crap.
But every once in a while I surprise myself by writing something worthwhile. Every once in a while I manage to actually say something.
Like this bit from last year called "Flexible for Money"...
"When you were a kid, do you remember when you dropped a coin that rolled under the table how you didn't even think about what to do... you simply threw yourself to the ground and went crawling after your money? It didn't matter if it was just a nickel or even a penny, you chased after that shit.
And now, as you grow older, do you notice how the value of the dropped coin you're willing to chase after keeps getting bigger and bigger? At one point you stopped crawling after pennies because, after all, it was just a penny. Soon after, nickels weren't worth bending over for. In no time at all, dimes are more trouble than they're worth. With age comes the realization that the time, effort, and energy required to retrieve dropped money requires careful calculation. Is the quarter that just fell out of your pocket worth the risk of straining your back while bending over to pick it up? What can you get with a quarter now-a-days anyway?
Today I dropped a dollar bill while pulling my iPod out of my pocket. As I stood there watching my money gently tumbling down the sidewalk in the breeze, it then occurred to me that I must be an old man now because I had no desire to go after it. Then suddenly, in a desperate bid to reclaim my childhood, I went chasing after my dollar. Just as I bent over to pick it up, my $180 Oakley sunglasses (one of those ridiculously expensive purchases you try not to regret) fell out of my jacket pocket and got a nice scratch on the lens. Standing there with a dollar in one hand and my ruined sunglasses in the other, I threw the dollar bill into the air and walked away having learned a valuable lesson.
Sometimes you've just got to tell your inner-child to go fuck themselves."
Now that's pretty smart stuff.
But did I learn anything from it?
No.
No I did not.
Because last night as I was unloading my suitcase from the trunk of my car, I dropped a couple coins on the pavement. A quarter and a nickel I think. It doesn't really matter what they were. The point is that I bent over to pick up the coins with my free hand while I was holding onto my suitcase full of heavy signed books from Comic-Con in the other.
And proceeded to throw my back out pretty bad.
So bad that I had to drug up to go to sleep... then drug up again this morning to get through my work day.
And now I lay here in agony, waiting for my pills to kick in so (hopefully) I can get some sleep.
And I never did actually pick up my dropped coins. When I left for work this morning they were still there. But when I came back tonight, they were gone.
Apparently somebody younger and more flexible thought they were worth the risk.
Getting old kind of sucks.
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ugh… pain pill wishes and muscle relaxer dreams, my friend!
While I’m not a superstitious person generally, I do have this weird “thing” about dropped coins. (Oh, like it *shocks* you that I have a “weird thing”).
I always figure that a penny dropped by me is someone else’s good luck. Same with a nickel or a dime. I will, however, drop kick someone else’s good luck in the face for a quarter! 😉
I won’t bend down for anything less than $1 these days. Course, I don’t have a bad back. Yet.
This is part of why I wish I was telekinetic: no more bending down to pick up things that I’ve dropped. Also if your X-wing fighter ever got mired down in a bog you wouldn’t have to call a tow truck to get it out.
Dave I feel your pain dude. About 3 months ago I helped clean out one of our offices that lost their funding. In carting around giant bags of old useless paper for the shredder, I somehow lifter, twisted and screwed up my back. An MRI and a half a bottle of Lortab later I find I kind of herniated a disc. Stretching helps. I found a stretch that does me a lot of good and has me back to semi functional without needing pain meds all the time.
But I don’t know if I want my doctor to know. Lortab is cool!
Sorry about your back. Major suckage.
I always pick up dropped or found coins because it might cause bad luck no to pick them up.
Aww, I’m sorry you blew out your back! Try those icy/hot patches, they work wonders. =]
I know what you mean, I did my back picking up a pizza delivery menu from my floor when I came home.
I believe there are homes for people like us,they play bingo all day sitting in big armchairs.
I heard this described once as the “go-down amount”, indicating that everyone has a price, as in “What’s your go-down amount? $2? 5?”
There’s a little restaurant just after the ticket counters in LaGuardia where the diners occasionally throw coins out onto the hallway floor. They seem to bet eachother on what amount will trigger which person. Years ago when I was an F/O, I flew with a captain who would always fall into the LGA trap for the pennies. Full uniform, airline captain, stooping down to scoop up a penny. It was very embarassing.
“Sometimes you’ve just got to tell your inner-child to go fuck themselves.” Dave2
This has always been my absolute favourite Dave2 quote ever. I find myself remembering this one whenever I am attempting to quell the desire for childish behaviour.
RMB
PS – Sorry to hear about your back… I’m right there with you on the bad back/drugs sucks ass thing.
Man. I feel your pain.
Sorry for the bad luck, crap like that just isn’t fair.
What’s funny is when my back was recovering two weeks ago and I was doing all the walking I’d see coins all over the place. And when I considered trying to pick them up (as if I could bend down!) I’d think of that post you referenced above and how the desire to “save” a coin may not be worth any extra price extracted from me.
Yes. No. Yes. Ha Ha! No. Yes.
Oh hell, dude. That’s not cool. I’m sorry about your back and believe me, I know the pain. Done that a couple times. One wound up in physical therapy. Not fun at all. Get better. And leave those coins where they lie or bend at the knee.
Dude, left with your legs.
That’s why everything should be kept at waist level or above – just makes life easier.
I don’t bend down to pick up anything less than a quarter, I guess I am still young (at heart) wooohooo)
I dropped a $100 camera lense to go after a $5 baseball. I didn’t think much of it until the guy I was speaking to mentioned the price of each item. Bastard!
Back pain is so debilitating- I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain. 🙁 I hope you feel better quickly.
damn, i did the same thing with my $200 sunglasses.
now i refuse to buy shades that expensive. but i still pick up coins.
Ouch! Hope your back mends quickly. I remember really enjoying that original post about getting older… Most of us can relate.
I totally remember that post and have taken it to heart when I’ve seen pennies on the ground. Good luck be damned!
Pretty smart stuff indeed. Yeah, getting old, I’m told ain’t for sissies. But you and I aren’t getting old Dave, we’re just getting oldER. : )
Feel better.
Dave, have I mentioned that I love you lately?
This is so true. Nail meet head.
In economics terms, it’s called ‘opportunity cost’.
I dropped my $250 prescription sunglasses on the mall floor on the way out of the eyeglass store THE DAY I BOUGHT THEM (in about an hour). Of course they fell on the lens and got scratched. Needless to say I was pissed.
Moral of the story… Uh, I have no idea.
I refuse to pick up the coinage because who knows what viral crud caked on said dough?
Now, if it’s the kind of money that folds? I’ll gladly pick it up with tongs! 🙂
Seeing you are an old man with sage advice, what kind of vitamins do you recommend?
Yesterday was the second time in two weeks I’ve been spewing my guts, and I was told I need to start taking some damn vitamins.
I figure your main problem is sleeping and needing a chiropractor on 24/7 call, so there must be something good in your immune system.
So, give me some vitamin love. (Please don’t say chocolate pudding. I’m saving that for when I turn eighty and can only eat mush.)
Sorry to hear you are in pain!!! I know what you are talking about as I did the same thing with my back a few weeks back as I was lifting a suitcase. I’ve never thrown out my back like that where I couldn’t move without pain pills….and thought I was going to die and only had the over the counter stuff. I feel for you and hope it eases up soon, Dave.
If you find a way to fix your back, please let me know. My back’s been f*@cking with me for 3 weeks. I’m ready to just cut it out and float around as a head.
I hope this coming week goes much more smoothly for you.