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Posted on Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Dave!The first car I ever owned was not new, it was used. Except it was in excellent condition and could easily have passed as new. At least it was in excellent condition until a week later. Not knowing any better, I parked next to a car in a handicap space at K-Mart. When I came back, the car was gone. But not before they left a nice dent on the passenger side. I was able to get it popped out, but there was still a nice white mark to remind me of the incident for years to come.

At least until the railroad's heavy work truck across the street slipped into gear while unattended and totaled my car.

Flash-forward nine years and I still haven't learned my lesson.

Today I went to the grocery store to buy a frozen pizza. The parking lot was packed full, and the only space available which wasn't a mile from the door was (you guessed it) next to a handicap space. Since I was only going to be a minute running in for a pizza, I went ahead and took it... being careful not to get too close to the van with Jesus stickers all over it that was occupying the handicapped space.

By the time I worked my way through the check-out line and got back to my car, I was just in time to see the driver of the Jesus van whip his door into the side of my car, leaving a small scuff-mark (which hopefully can be buffed out).

What the hell?

I walked up to his window and yelled just that, only to have him scowl at me and go tearing out of the parking lot.

It's as if he didn't give a crap... he might has well rolled down his window and screamed "I'm handicapped, so fuck off!"

DAVETOON: Handicapped sign emblem driving over Lil' Dave.

Obviously, it's not just handicapped people who can be jerks about dinging your car and running off... dumbassery knows no bounds... but this is two for two on damages.

I'm starting to wonder if I should be blaming the people who design handicapped parking spaces? Obviously there's a problem here.

Though I didn't see a handicap parking sign in his window, so maybe he wasn't handicapped, he was just an asshole.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Carl says:

    Hit and run much? I’ve always wondered if cars covered in religious decals get any kind of devine protection, or ‘Godspeed’ perhaps.

    So, Eddie was spectacular tonight. Thanks for the comment, I did a search and then realized you did post a blog about going to see him.

  2. Danalyn says:

    The very first car I bought all by myself was also a 2-yr-old car, but it was new to me, dammit. And it looked it, too.

    But a week after I bought it, I decided to meet the in-laws at a karaoke bar. It was one we went to a lot, so no big deal right? Well, when I left and went to visit the husband at work, that’s when he pointed it out to me…great big knuckle dents in the passenger side fender.

    I was so pissed. I was irrational. I wanted to have the cops dust it for knuckleprints, for crying out loud!

    Of course, all I did was cry about it, then bought one of those pops-a-dent thingies…which really only made it small knuckle dents, instead of great big knuckle dents.

    When I traded it in, the VW dealership popped that thing out, and the car looked awesome again.

  3. seewhy says:

    Awww… how lovely and Christian of him!

  4. Janna says:

    Is it wrong that all I can think about is the pizza?
    I must be hungry.

  5. the handicapped spaces are normally wider so folks can get in and out of the vehicle with wheelchairs and all. your handicapped people don’t know how to park!

    although in philly when we were struggling for parking at the rocky museum and at independence hall and even at tequilacon itself, hilly, karl and britt totally encouraged me to use the handicapped parking pass thingy that i still have from when mom died. yeah, ummmm…we suck. but we had terrific parking!

  6. oh, and we didn’t hit anyone’s cars while parked in the handi spaces!

  7. Avitable says:

    The time I spent living in LA with 90% “compact cars only” spaces filled with large SUVs pretty much cured me of caring if my car gets dings. There was no way to avoid it.

  8. Sue says:

    I’m guessing you didn’t get his license plate number?

    I’ve got Denis Leary in my head right now…

  9. RW says:

    I park the mile away. I also make sure I’m no where near one of those cart racks. Plus I tie a hungry Doberman beside it. And set up a camera. And walk backwards facing it until I’m in the store.

    So far so good.

  10. Matt says:

    My car is the first new car I’ve ever owned. It made it almost two years before it got a slight ding in the rear passenger door. You can’t see it unless you’re looking for it – but I know it’s there. It made me sad.

    Then two months later someone keyed it at night on my street, right out in front of my house.


  11. kilax says:

    We are like RW – we park very far away. In the very last parking spot available, solely to avoid this reason.

    But sometimes, you can’t do that. 🙁

  12. nicole says:

    it’s funny that this happened to you too! i always make sure to park far away from the handi spot’s even though i have a pass thanks to a knee injury from my motorcycle accident. it’s easier to walk the damn mile to the door than to risk no longer having a car or bike thanks to “these parking lot menaces!!”

  13. Karl says:

    Just because you’re handicapped doesn’t mean you can’t be an asshole.

  14. Poppy says:

    During my brief time working at a community health center (read: place where crazy people got health care) my car was run into on the front and back bumpers and sustained no less than 5 dings to the doors. Before that job the only scuff mark anywhere on the vehicle was on the front bumper when I ran into a sawhorse in a parking spot while I laughed maniacally. (True story.)

    People in general don’t care about other people’s cars. My co-worker ran his car door into my Kia’s car door because he didn’t know it was my car. He mildly cares a little bit more now that he knows it’s my car, and tries not to slam his door quite so forcefully into mine anymore.

  15. Megan says:

    When I was in university, a friend of mine was treated very badly by a boyfriend who had lost the use of his legs. We quickly discovered that because of his physical disability, it was difficult to give him much-deserved criticism.

    We developed a saying that is still useful: “Just because he’s in a wheelchair, that doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole.”

  16. Iron Fist says:

    My vote is on ‘asshole.’

  17. Aargh says:

    Assholes come in all shapes and sizes. I took delivery of my beautiful brand new vehicle 4 weeks ago and have been careful where I park. Last Saturday I came out of my local shop to see someone had pulled out of the spot beside me and rubbed their blue painted piece of shit on my new truck. No note just blue marks along the side of my new truck. Hopefully it will buff out but Man does it piss me off.

  18. whall says:

    Maybe his handicapp was that his tact was lost in a tragic head-on collision with his spouse.

  19. Göran says:

    There are times when stalker seems like a good job!
    Hope the car wasn´t too badly damaged!

  20. Beth says:

    It is complete ASSHOLED-ness in the world, not just handicap spaces. No one gives a shit about anything but themselves. I’m so sick of the droves of self centered jerkoffs on this planet. I can totally relate!!

  21. Colin Brooks says:

    I’d be fuming!

  22. I usually park as far away from other cars as I can for this very reason. People are assholes. Wait, people who are too bloody lazy to return their carts to the cart return area are assholes. People who are too lazy to return their carts and instead push them into my car are assholes.

  23. Dennis says:

    suck about the dent, but funny image!

  24. shari says:

    Our pickup is being repaired, and while we wait, Town Toyota is loaning us an ’08 hybrid. It’s GORGEOUS! I’m terrified to park it anywhere.

  25. ChillyWilly says:

    Like Avi, I stopped caring about the dings in my car when someone decided to let their shopping cart plow right into my car, without any apology. Since I watched the whole thing, my words to them were, “Just going to let the cart hit my car without saying a fucking word?” They just walking, trying to avoid any eye contact…. I took down their license number and reported it, but since I had no actual proof it was them, I was told I would have to claim the repair on my insurance. I never did and now my car has this reminder, with several more smaller dings from times before.

    Asshole indeed.

  26. Am I screwing something up by viewing you in IE? The icons/avatars are covering up the first few words of every comment?

    I stopped by to thank you for posting so regularly. It’s got to be difficult sometimes, but I appreciate it a lot. I’m struggling with insomnia and a shitty attitude right now, and it feels great to be able to find something new and fun here everyday. Thanks, Dave2!

  27. Dave2 says:

    The problem is I.E. – I’ve been looking into it, but can’t seem to get it fixed. I’ll keep trying!

    The problem doesn’t turn up in Safari or FireFox, so it’s tough to figure out.

  28. Jake Titus says:

    It’s amazing how rude folks can be. A few years ago I was in Berkeley. My car was parked at the curb and I was standing on the sidewalk right next to my car. This psycho bitch in a beat up piece of shit pulls up to parallel park. In the process of fitting said piece of shit into the tiny space, she drives right into my bumper. She then puts it into reverse and hits another car. Apparently not satisfied with her placement, she pulled forward again and hit my car. When I asked her what the fuck she was doing she replied, “That’s what bumpers are for”. After she walked away I put a note under her windshield wiper and then kicked off her side mirrors. The note said “That’s what boots are for!”

  29. Winter says:

    I have those issues in regular size spaces because everyone in SoCal must drive an SUV about 100 times too big for them and their family.

  30. Jennifer says:

    Disabilities, whether mental or physical are not an excuse for bad behavior. Ever!

  31. How frustrating. Jerks come in all varieties, I guess.

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