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Posted on Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

Dave!After the tongue-swelling incident in New York a couple weeks ago, I've lived with the possibility that I'll have an allergic attack where my tongue or throat will swell so badly that I'll suffocate and die. Since I've got future plans which would be drastically upset by my death, I decided to visit the clinic today so I could get me an "epi-pen" prescription. Epi-pens contain adrenaline (epinephrine) which can be used to counteract a severe allergic reaction (among other things).

Picking up the prescription was both exciting and terrifying.

Terrifying because I have a fear of needles and blood.

Exciting because every time you see people use adrenaline in the movies, they whip out this giant needle and somebody gets stabbed in the heart. Like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction...

Uma Thurman getting stabbed in the heart by John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.

Or Nicholas Cage in The Rock...

Nicholas Cage stabbing himself in the heart with an adrenaline shot in The Rock.

Adrenaline kicks ass!

How awesome would it be to stab yourself in the heart with adrenaline?


I was reading the instructions and found out that you don't stab yourself in the heart, you stab yourself in the thigh. That's kind of lame...

Epipen Stabbing

Oh well. I guess it doesn't really matter where you stab yourself so long as you, yaknow, get to live and everything.

Something tells me I can get over my fear of needles if it meant me not dying.

At least one would hope so.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Hilly Sue says:

    I promise that if you’re ever having an “incident”, I will totally stab you with your epi pen! Even in the heart if that’s what it takes for us to be totally Pulp Fiction too!!

  2. adena says:

    First step- EpiPen

    Next step- Multiple Tattoos.

  3. Iron Fist says:

    Well, sure, they tell you to stab yourself in the leg, but that’s only because adrenaline right to the heart like that would give you superhuman strength and speed. The world is fearful of a Dave who can run after that driver who cut him off, catch up with him, and then pick up the car and toss it off the embankment.

  4. Winter says:

    Are you sure they let you onto airplanes carrying drugs that can be stabbed into thighs? And if someone sees you do it, not knowing what it is or that you have a prescription for it, will they turn you in as a terrorist? Cause everyone who has ever seen Arlington Road knows, it’s the domestic terrorists we gotta watch out for.

  5. Freelance Guru says:

    Stabbing yourself in the heart seems a little counter productive don’t you think?

  6. Katie says:

    I recently did a First Aid course and we had to “practice” administering adrenaline to ourselves. Of course they weren’t loaded and there was no needle, but it still freaked me out having to do it! Needles give me the heebiejeebies … I hate them with a passion. I’d be the worst diabetic ever!

  7. are you gonna get a cool bracelet or necklace saying what your allergy is in case it happens in public so people know your epi-pen is your pocket and your not just happy to see them

  8. Howard says:

    Hmmmph, I see you are learning more methods for stabbing people in the heart. It’s nice to know our backs are safe now.


  9. ingrid says:

    You’re right. The thigh is lame. I think that the forehead would be even more impressive than the chest.

  10. Sue says:

    Eeps. I hope you never have to use it, though.

  11. My daughter’s good friend has a peanut allergy. Every time he comes over, he puts his epipen on the counter for me. It freaks me out like crazy because I always wonder if I could do it, but like you say, I am sure in an emergency I could. I hope you never need yours though!

  12. Poppy says:

    Maybe not. Sometimes people are completely nonsensical about their fears.

  13. Avitable says:

    What happens to you if you give that to yourself when you don’t need it?

    This could be an interesting experiment.

  14. Delmer says:

    Pack some gel and a hanky with your epi-pen. Based on Uma and Nick’s photos it looks like adrenaline shots make your hair a mess and cause serious facial sweating

  15. Karl says:

    I’m afraid of needles, too, but now I have to give myself a shot every night before bed. Stupid diabetes. It actually doesn’t hurt, but that doesn’t stop me from freaking out every time I’m about to stick myself in the gut.

  16. SunSpotBaby says:

    EGADS!! I was trying to get through life without ever seeing that scene of Uma Thurman getting stabbed in the heart again – and there it was as I scrolled down the page….!! My heart jumps two beats when I even THINK about it!! But, now I have to rent The Rock, against my better judgement.

  17. nicole says:

    i promise that should you need an injection and your either passed out or unable to preform, it will go straight to the chest with full force.

  18. kat says:

    That looks like a Sharpie to me. Are you sure you didn’t pick up a Sharpie prescription?

  19. Finn says:

    Please don’t stab yourself in the heart with a syringe full of Epi; you will give yourself a heart attack. And you’re kinda growing on me and I would miss you.

    Winter: I’ve presented my Epi pen to many a TSA employee — they have no clue what it is half the time. It’s a prescription drug so it’s kosher. Oddly, it could be used for nefarious purposes and they have to let you take it on, but they won’t let you take a Tide pen on the plane because they think it contains bleach (it does not, but even if it did how scary could that possibly be?).

  20. amandarin says:

    Welcome to the world of random and potentially fatal allergies! I have to carry an epi-pen with me too and I’ve never had any trouble traveling with it. Half the time I don’t even remember to declare it at Security and I’ve never been stopped.

    (Now that I’ve said that, I will no doubt be strip searched the very next time I go through security)

    Word of caution: Make sure that you teach the people with whom you spend the most time how to use it; if you’re in respiratory distress you might not have the presence of mind to inject yourself and many people have never seen an epi-pen.

  21. Miss Britt says:

    Don’t listen to them.

    Go eat something with dye in it and stab yourself in the heart. Please. And record it. Please.

  22. Lewis says:

    Oh, stop needling us, would you? Or I’ll stick it to you. Hahaha, a little poke here and little poke there…here a poke, there a poke, everywhere a poke poke! I had to use one of these on a passenger years ago. It wasn’t pretty. At all. I hope you never have the need.

  23. Megan says:

    They stab themselves in the HEART??? How did I miss this?

    My son is deathly allergic to peanuts, so we’ve had an EpiPen since he was about two. Yes, you put it in the thigh, and then you run to the hospital. But here’s hoping you never have to.

  24. should have told me, I’d have sent you mine since I don’t think I will EVer need to use one. I mean, I’m allergic to chicken and eggs and peppers and bananas and a whole host of other things…the doctor gave me ’em because of the unfortunate incident with the chicken. Usually my tongue swelling (chicken and eggs) or gasping for breath (bananas) goes away after an hour so I guess I’m lucky it doesn’t “hang around” a long time.

    I hope you don’t have to poke your heart coz that would prolly hurt more than the poking your leg.

  25. claire says:

    did you ever get tested to make sure you know what’s causing the allergic reaction?

  26. sizzle says:

    The thigh isn’t as sexy but being alive sure is.

  27. jewelz says:

    Giving yourself shots totally sucks! A few years back, after having reconstructive knee surgery, I developed a blood clot. THREE FUCKING MONTHS of getting blood-thinner shots. I didn’t have to do them myself, thankfully, but it allowed the hubby to take out any aggression he had towards me on a daily basis. I developed a lovely purple, blue, yellow, greenish bruise the size of Alaska on my abdomen. And what was even better? The lovely nurse who taught him how to do the injections? Her comment was (and I quote)…”At least you have some belly fat to absorb the needle….it can be painful for skinny people.” B-I-T-C-H!!!

  28. Ugh… I hear ya, too. I keep an EpiPen in my car, at home, and at work. The first time I tried to use one, I pulled off the black/gray cap by mistake and then shot my middle finger while trying like an idiot to put it back on. Here’s hoping you NEVER have to use it!

  29. nicole says:

    okay so i have to ask if you were ever in the audience of the ellen show, my co-worker who also reads you blog was watching ellen the other day and they did flashbacks to audience members and she wanted to know if it was you or if maybe you have a body double, evil twin, or just are able to be in two places at once?? please i need to know or the world will be doomed and not even Samuel L Jackson will be able to save us!!

  30. Greeneyezz says:

    Oooh, that sucks. I’m severely allergic to Bees. They used to give me an actual Syringe and have had to use it once. Somehow they did away with that and they are all Epi-Pens now. (I think they’re supposed to be easier to use.)

    Yup…you most definitely want to make sure you have that with you. And just as an fyi – acquaint yourself with it beforehand so you know what to do, *and* if you should be in need to use it, try to remain as calm as you can once you realize you are having a reacation. If you get your adrenalin going and your blood pumping, you’ll increase your allergic reaction time, as you’ll make it go into your system faster. (At least that’s what happens with the venom from bees.


  31. Talena says:

    Erm… I’m both happy and sad for you.


  32. Belinda says:

    Shoot, it’s not even really like a “needle” at all. You just brace it on your leg and push a button–you can’t even flinch fast enough to mess it up before it’s all over. No big whoop. And the bonus? Not choking on your own stupid tongue! You have to admit, that does not make an obit worth of Dave.

  33. KaraB says:

    I have severe horrible allergies (72 at last count) and have had to give myself the epipen. The *pop* noise it makes coming out scared me and I jerked the needle out of my leg and had to push it back in. Surprisingly not as fun as you’d imagine! Sorry I’m late to the party commenting on this, just stumbled on this post!

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