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Posted on Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Dave!Today I drove into the neighboring metropolis of Wenatchee, Washington for a hospital visit. I rarely drive into the city except to use the airport, but today I decided to take some back-roads to avoid the horrendous traffic on my way home.

And found out that everything had changed.

Wenatchee Valley College has radically expanded their campus... adding some small buildings along with one large building that's as big as the entire school was when I attended there. But that was just the beginning. Driving down the street I used to live on, I saw that almost all of the small orchards that used to line the road are gone... replaced with apartment complexes. New houses are crammed in everywhere. Street lights and traffic signals have been added to where there weren't street lights and traffic signals before. Crazy.

But that's just cosmetic.

There was another change awaiting me that was way more serious.

They moved a street!

After I got a veggie burger at the EZ Burger Drive-Thru for dinner, I was looping back around to go home when BLAM!!! I very nearly turned where a street didn't exist anymore. Apparently they decided to move the road so it would match up with the opposing cross-street to make a 4-way intersection...

A map showing the re-routing of a street from where it used to be in Wenatchee, Washington.

Which was kind of funny until I realized that had I not been paying attention, I could have ran my car onto the sidewalk and killed a nun.

A nun pushing a baby carriage.

A baby carriage with a baby in it.

Though it would obviously not be her baby because, well, you know...


They probably give you the express lane to hell for that one.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Colin Brooks says:

    Is it bad that I’m laughing? It is, isn’t it?

    Well as long as the express lane to hell goes by the hospital I think it’d be convenient.

    Yes, I’m still drunk because I’m still drinking.

  2. Brandon says:

    I mentioned this earlier…The Greater Wenatchee Regional Events Center.

    They have already announced a soccer team, a football team and are in negotiations with a hockey team to play there. I’ll definitely make a road trip for a hockey game, wanna go?

  3. Iron Fist says:

    It might have been her baby, if it was the new messiah. Then you would have really been screwed.

  4. Robin says:

    Tastycake!!! Woo hoo!! Did yours have an ass print too?

  5. My street is a new street. If you google map it, it’s a bunch of trees. It onlys shows up on some gps’ Tom-Tom’s, even upgraded, don’t show my street. It’s very funny when I have to give directions and everyone says -I have a gps. My answer – yeah – let me know how that works out for you….call me when you are lost.

  6. apricoco says:

    uh, hitting a nun and a baby is like a trip to the deepest levels of hell. you wouldn’t really want to do that, you know unless you want to have your innards slowly sucked out inch by inch..

    nah, don’t you know you can ask and be forgiven? no hell for you. but, it’s better that you didn’t hit them and don’t have to worry about dents in your car.

  7. Shiny says:

    I’m just impressed with the gradual transition from the old intersection to the new one. I bet you can hardly tell at 70 MPH…

  8. adena says:

    Dave running over a nun pushing a baby.

    You know, as sad as this sounds, if I ever ran across that headline, the first thought would not be “Oh, how horrible!!”

    No, it would be “Someone finally drove him over the edge.” 🙂

    As far as the road, they do that all the time around here. All of the sudden it’s like “Where the hell did the road go!?”

    I know this town to the point I could drive around w/ my eyes closed, but if they keep doing that, I’m liable to run over a holy woman myself. Except, I’m pretty sure we don’t have a nunnery here.

  9. Avitable says:

    You know, that’s the leading cause of death for nuns with babies.

  10. Tug says:

    I’d have had to snap a picture of a nun with a baby. (Not if I’d run them over, but ya’ know, since they were safe & all)

  11. Poppy says:

    Why would a nun be pushing a baby carriage?

    Oh right, orphans.
    Oh right, horny priests.
    Oh right, dirty nuns.

  12. Winter says:

    I’m confused by Avitable’s comment.YOU’RE the leading cause of death for nuns with babies? Dude, that kinda rocks in a I don’t believe in heaven sorta way.

  13. Shiny says:

    @Poppy — Surprisingly, two of those things turn me on…

  14. Poppy says:

    I hope it’s not the dirty nuns, cuz that’s just WRONG.

    (HEHEHEHEHEHE. HI, DAVE2! Did you go watch it yet, ya secret spiller!!!! ?)

  15. Dave2 says:

    Colin… Continuing to drink is the leading cause of drunkenness!

    Brandon… Absolutely! Hopefully Wenatchee gets a team that’s worth a crap. Still amazed at how I had no idea that we are getting this sports complex in the valley.

    Iron Fist… True. But the thought that I would doom all mankind in the process kind of makes it worthwhile!

    Robin… Nope. My remaining Tastykakes are surprisingly ass-print free!

    Libragirl… Have you ever considered that since your home doesn’t show up on a map that you don’t exist? Like Bruce Willis in “The Sixth Sense.”

    Apricoco… Now, if my car ended up with me in the afterlife, that really WOULD be hell!

    Shiny… Considering I barely noticed at 30mph, I’m guessing you’re right. Traffic in Wenatchee is so bad that I feel lucky to be going 30 in a 35… the thought of ever having the road be clear enough to be going 70mph is hysterical. Maybe after midnight.

    Adena… I still don’t see the point of what they did. Maybe they just thought a 4-way LOOKED better? Craziness.

    Avitable… Just another reason nuns shouldn’t be walking the streets.

    Tug… I don’t think shots like that are what sells to the tabloids. Unless, of course, the nun is giving birth to the baby.

    Poppy… I was thinking orphans, but I suppose that’s all good. You just never know…

    Winter… I don’t know. I suppose I COULD be the leading cause of death for nuns with babies!

    Shiny… @Poppy?!? Ooooh look! Shiny is twittering in comments now! 🙂

    Poppy… It hasn’t shown up in my iTunes podcasts yet!

  16. Poppy says:

    Oh noes! Well, it’s a REALLY good episode. You should use a web browser and actually GO to Cereal Wednesday and watch it. It’s hysterical.

  17. ChillyWilly says:

    Not only would go to hell for killing a nun pushing a baby carriage, but also for ending her life before she had a chance to have a baby of her own (or at least have fun trying).

    You are spared.

    Looking at that map of how they changed the road, it looks like it could be better, but that still doesn’t help those that knew the old route.

  18. Finn says:

    If the baby’s hers you don’t go to Hell. If it’s not, she may have stolen it — again, no Hell. Other than that, you’re screwed.

  19. Delmer says:

    Does the change bother you at all?

    I spent too many years away from my hometown and when I went back it had changed a lot. And it sort of made me sad — areas that had been wide open were now strip malls.

  20. Kevin H says:

    When I hear this story, I can’t help but wonder if the nun’s name is Rosemary.

  21. Not a Granny says:

    That is what happens to me every time I go home. They keep tearing down the orchards, messing up the roads. Half the time I never know if I am going to be able to get from the airport in East Wenatchee to my parents home by Wenatchee High School.

  22. claire says:

    They did a road change where I went to grad school with a sort of overpass. Better for pedestrians but horrible for drivers.

  23. Motley says:

    Heh, I’ve done things like that before, just not on that scale. Or in a car.

  24. Bec says:

    And now I have Chris Rea’s Road to Hell playing in my head.

  25. jewelz says:

    I’ve experienced the same out-of-body experience when visiting my alma mater of Western Michigan University. I would need a GPS unit to find my way around there now…nothing is the same. Of course, I was drunk during my college career, so things may just look different because I’m more sober than I was back then.
    And as far as the express train to hell goes? I’ve had my tickets purchased for that lovely ride for many years now….I’ll save you a seat!

  26. Betsy says:

    Interesting fact- at St. Mary’s in Rochester (now part of Mayo Clinic), there was an entire FLOOR for pregnant nuns. Top secret, of course. Seriously- nurses at the time had to sign a confidentiality agreement.

    Just thought I’d add that little tidbit of trivia.

  27. Talena says:

    This has nothing to do with this post… I just received my own sexy black Mac Book in the mail today and am SO delighted and happy with it. Part of my decided to make the jump from PC to Mac was your unbridled love for the big M. Congratulate yourself on helping Steve make $1500 on a poor student like me!

  28. Lisa says:

    It’s a guaranteed trip to hell in a hand basket.

    Why is it that no one mentioned the hand basket?

    Or the bucket? Hell in a bucket people!

    You are going to hell in a bucket so at least enjoy the ride.

    I didn’t mean that you are actually going to hell.

    Want some Taskykakes?

  29. jonb says:

    I think you’d have been ok…as long as the nun wasn’t also carrying a box of orphan puppies.

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