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Posted on Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Dave!Weird. Neighborhood dogs are barking at the eclipse and won't stop.

Can't say that I blame them. The lunar eclipse is approaching its zenith, and is starting to reveal the moon as this giant blood-red disc. It's breathtakingly beautiful, and I have a clear-skies view of it all.

Unfortunately, I don't have a camera even remotely capable of capturing the amazing sight out my window. All I get is a fuzzy smear that changes color every time I shoot the moon...



There's a "meme" of sorts blowing through the blogosphere, where people are making a list of stuff that's irritating the shit out of them. I debated whether or not to participate, but then came the morons at Citibank, with a phone call that went something like this...

CITIBANK: In order to assist you, I'll need your Social Security Number.
DAVE: Ummm... I'm calling about a credit card you sent me that I didn't request. I'm not going to give out personal information until you tell me why it was sent.
CITIBANK: Then I can't help you.
DAVE: Then please connect me to a supervisor.
CITIBANK: I cannot connect you to a supervisor until you give me your Social Security Number.
DAVE: Are you KIDDING me? I'm not giving you my Social Security Number! How do I know that you're actually Citibank?
CITIBANK: YOU called US from a number on the back of the card! Who else would we be?
DAVE: No. I called a number from the back of a card that I didn't request that could easily be a forgery in some elaborate attempt at identity theft.
CITIBANK: I am NOT able to help you until you give me your Social Security Number!
DAVE: Then you WILL put me through to a supervisor... and don't tell me you won't do it without my Social Security Number, because this is a serious situation and I am not taking "no" for an answer. This is a card that YOU sent me that I DID NOT REQUEST!! Don't make this be MY problem.
CITIBANK: I'm putting you through to security.

Then I had to go through the shit all over again, until the security guy finally told me that the account had been cancelled. But I'm still enraged that Citibank is so fucking stupid to treat people like this when identity theft is running rampant now-a-days. You would think that they would take something like this very seriously, and be more realistic about the information they require to handle something so critical. If somebody tells you that you've sent a credit card they never requested, you don't need a Social Security Number to investigate the situation. Dumbasses. Citibank's horrendously idiotic policy has me so floored that I am still deciding whether or not to take this up with VISA International.

And now, while I'm at it, here's some blog-related crap that I'm going to get off of my chest. Of course, none of this is about YOU, so don't worry about it. Unless, of course, it really is you...

• Don't Assume I Don't Have Family, Friends, or Relationships...
It's strange how some people believe that just because I choose not to write about something, it doesn't exist. And no matter how many times I try to make it clear that I don't discuss these subjects, it doesn't stop people from telling me that I need a girlfriend... or need to get laid... or that I'm lonely... or whatever. The truth is that they just don't know anything about this stuff unless they know me personally. To imply otherwise is just stupid.

• Don't Be Pissed Because I Won't Tell You About My Work or Personal Life...
Some people think that even though I don't talk about certain subjects in my blog, that I'm perfectly happy to reveal absolutely anything they want to know via email. When I write back and explain that I don't talk about my work or personal life with people who are not my friends or family, they tend to get upset. Apparently, these people feel that if they read Blogography every day, this entitles them access to all aspects of my life... no matter how private. Well, I have news for them, it doesn't.

• Don't Insist I Give A Crap About Your Abusive Ass...
When people email or comment only to be an ass, they might as well not comment at all. Disagreeing with me is fine, I respect the opinions of others and feel that diversity is what makes life interesting. But being an abusive dumbass flamer troll is an annoyance that I'm not willing to deal with (other than to click the delete button).

• Don't Think That I Feel I'm Better Than You...
This is the one that really bothers me. Every once in a while, I'll get an email from somebody who thinks that the reason I blog about my travels and the cool things I get to do is because I'm bragging or something. This is just silly. I blog about the crap that's happening in my life. So if I'm traveling, that's what I'm going to write about. If I were bragging or implying that I was superior because of it, I'd start each entry with "HA HA FUCKERS! GUESS WHERE I AM AT AND YOU'RE NOT?!? SUCKS TO BE YOU, LOSER!!" Believe me, I know how lucky I am that I get to see and do the stuff I get to see and do. But I also work very hard and make a lot of sacrifices to get there, so the last thing I'm going to do is "brag" about it.

And, on that note... HA HA FUCKERS! I'm off to book my flights and hotels for next month.

Categories: Blogging 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. adena says:

    Now why don’t you start by telling me all about your personal life…

    (kidding, kidding)

    Maybe you need a colon cleanse, instead of a girlfriend….You seem a bit testy. πŸ™‚

  2. sizzle says:

    The fact that anyone accuses you of thinking you are better than them/us is so ludicrous to me. As if! You’re like the nicest, most genuine and humble guy I’ve met. Though, truth be told, I haven’t met Kapgar yet so you might have some competition. πŸ˜‰

    It seems so invasive and self-important for people to assume they have the right to ask you personal questions or that you have no life/family/need a girlfriend/whathaveyou. If they told you that you needed to eat more vegetables, well that, that’d just be good common sense.


  3. Hilly Sue says:


    Can I just give you the same comment you gave me? This post honestly makes me love you more today than I did yesterday, if that is at all possible ;). Seriously though, I am so glad you did your laundry list and said things that needed to be said. It’s high time some people stop making Dave-sumptions!!!

  4. ETinNY says:

    I don’t blame you in the least at getting p/o’d at “Citibank”. I have 2 Citicards and for 25 years, whenever I got a new one, they never ask me for a SSAN. This most likely could be a BIG identity theft scam….i.e..FakeCitbank send out FakeCitibank cards and scams you into giving them your SSAN and Dave2 has 6 months to a years worth of Twilight Zone stuff to blog about. If this was the real Citibank then this is just incredibly stupid as you’ve pointed out. This just get’s me going on the frackin’ credit card companies in general. They can pretty much do whatever they want and not be accountable. I mean if credit card fraud increases, it doesn’t cost them a cent. They just pass the losses on to the other credit card holders and increase the interest rate. Piece of cake! Right?

  5. jodi says:


    Oh man, now it’s going to drive me crazy. Not knowing everything.

  6. I detest Shittybank. I refuse to ever work with them again.

  7. GΓΆran says:

    this post was done just to get laid, right? πŸ˜‰

    Abusers online have too much time to waiste.

  8. Kyra says:

    You know…… maybe it was that picture of you in the red underwear so long ago that makes people feel a false sense of intimacy with you? So, what was your SSN again? πŸ˜‰

  9. RW says:

    So I should stop emailing you? OK FINE.

  10. Dar says:

    I had a similar info trying to cancel a tv account after my brother died. The wouldn’t cancel it without a letter from him. Their system apparently didn’t take into account he was dead.

  11. meg evans says:

    The pics are great! I wanted to see this eclipse so badly–I had even written it on the calendar, and wouldn’t you know it, cloud cover prevented my seeing any of it! Our neighborhood dogs seemed to be unaffected. Guess it was the clouds.

    And nothing makes my blood pressure soar like those automated voice mail robots who try to “talk” you through your issues when you call a customer service number (verizon, the bank, etc). I’ve gotten pretty good at screaming “agent!” It’s making me tense just thinking about it…

  12. Hilly Sue says:

    Oh I forgot to ask, since you have so much free time on your hands, what with not having any sex and all, can you make me free graphics so that I can nitpick them? Thanks much πŸ™‚

  13. Believe it or not, I use lifelock. But you can do basically the same thing by contacting all three credit bureaus and put your credit on fraud alert. It will stay put for six months, and you can do it over and over.

    As for that other stuff, I am just in awe of what people will do and say and ask for. You and Britt both talk about hate mail and hate posts. I haven’t ever had that. And I don’t get it, because your site is really benign!

  14. Beth says:

    Stupid people!! If they fail to see why everyone should worship you without question it’s their loss. We don’t need the personal specifics now, that all comes after we simultaneously eat the jello and end up on your spaceship bound for Planet Dave.

  15. MRKisThatKid says:

    So you’re not single then…????

  16. Stephanie P says:

    Thanks for bitch-slapping me back to reality, Dave. I needed it!

  17. bogup says:

    Good post, Dave2. Most of us are here, thankfully, because of what we see of you (and Bad Monkey) here — nothing more, nothing less. So, tell us, how is BM’s sex life anyway?
    Most major credit card bank’s are crappy. And the smaller banks are getting eaten up daily by the big ones that make the most $$$ via their lending practices and bigger fees.

  18. Avitable says:

    I think you totally should start each post with HAHA FUCKERS!

    I’ll do it, too.

    Maybe we can start a trend.

  19. Ugh. You had the card number and they couldn’t look up the information with that? Arsewipe customer service reps.

  20. Dave2 says:

    Adena… Or a girlfriend that is willing to give me a colon cleanse.

    Sizzle… Kapgar is SO much nicer than me that it’s not even funny. I’m Ghengis Kahn by comparison.

    Hilly Sue… Except you know it’s not going to stop… right? πŸ™‚

    ET… Yes, they’re all bastards! Except when I need my credit limit raised so I can buy video games. Then I love them.

    Jodi… Why not assume that my blog tells you everything so you can be happy again? πŸ™‚

    KG… After this experience, I can see why. The company invites identity theft!

    GΓΆran… Well, when it’s your purpose in life to annoy other people, then sending abusive comments is just fulfilling your life’s mission! Personally, I applaud these people for knowing what they want out of life and going for it! πŸ˜€

    Kyra… 555-55-5555 (hey, it works for telephone numbers in the movies!).

    RW… Actually, I’d KILL to get an email from you. You don’t blog very often anymore, and I often find myself wondering what you’re up to. πŸ˜›

    Dar… Oh yes. When through THAT mess when my grandfather died. It’s not enough that you lose somebody you love, you have to be harassed as well? Horrible.

    Meg… I keep hoping that somebody I know with a better camera managed to get better shots than I did, because it truly was a jaw-dropping sight.

    Hilly-Sue… Oooh! I should have put that on the list!

    Absurdist… LifeLock was recommended to me when I complained about the Citibank mess to a friend. I signed up immediately. I was going to do the fraud notices, but found out it’s every 90 days… not every 6 months. This is kind of stupid. The fraud alerts should be on for everybody permanently and free of charge. Bastard credit companies! I get hate-mail for the oddest things, and don’t know why I am such a target.

    Beth… Aw, you’re just saying that because of your spiffy-keen Dave Number! πŸ™‚

    MRK… I’ll leave that for my readers to determine!

    Stephanie… Any time! I live to serve my readers!

    Bogup… I really do need to get rid of all my credit cards except one and make my life easier to manage. You’d think that companies would be more on top of stuff like this because it’s only going to cost them customers!

    Avitable… I actually stole that idea from your video posts. So not only am I a total bastard, but I’m a thief as well.

    Kevin… Yes. I still do not understand the logic at Citibank. This is a bad, BAD policy that makes no sense what-so-ever.

  21. ETinNY says:

    Arrrgh! Dar touched another one of my sore points. I’ve lived in this apartment for about 10 years and Time Warner is still sending the bill for the cable box that the previous tenant never returned. I’ve called them a half a dozen times and even though I have Time Warner cable at this location in my name, they keep telling me that they can’t close out the old bill.

  22. kilax says:

    Dealing with credit card companies is something I hate to do – it’s the same stupid shit over and over again. How dumb do they think we are?

    (And how dumb are some of your readers if you seriously get emails like that?)

  23. Dave, I really hope you DO take this up with Visa. As a member of the leadership team at a financial institution, I think the Citibank procedures you just encountered are every bit as horrible as you do. I seriously worry about the hundreds of thousands of people who could end up in the same position, but whom are not bright enough to resist offering up their SSN… Sigh.

  24. Karl says:

    Cool photos of the eclipse. I was able to view it for a while last night, once the clouds got the hell out of the way.

    Weird how people assume a lot of things about you, isn’t it? You tell a few people what your favorite cupcake is and suddenly they think they know it all.

  25. I totally feel ya (not literally of course), it’s too bad you’re getting stupid flamers who’s got nothing to do but to be total idiots.

  26. ChillyWilly says:

    For the most part, Citibank has been good to me and been pretty cool to deal with on the phone. The only exception was changing my PIN number. Which, I found, is very difficult when you don’t have a local branch. Took 7 phone calls and 3 weeks before I got one that worked for me. During that time, I had to call them up several times a week due to my online access was disabled. It was frustrating, but I stuck it out.

    I completely agree that they should never ask you for your SSN when you get a credit card in the mail unsolicited. Just cancel the card and stop sending them to me in the future unless I specifically ask for them.

  27. Like I said to Britt, I will comment on whatever it is you blog about. I won’t be nasty. I won’t be hateful. I will attempt to be pithy/funny/amusing/witty. If I’m tired, I’ll be boring or absent. If I’m pissed-off, I won’t comment or e-mail at all.

    And your personal life? Obviously personal. Tell us if you want or don’t. But I’m not gonna pry.

    Now, I’m off to watch a horribly contrived Lifetime movie about a battered woman. GOD! I hate afternoon television.

  28. Miss Britt says:

    I don’t think requesting pictures of your ass was too personal.

    The rudeness was REALLY unnecessary.

    P.S. Please tell me if you have some automated way that you do that mobile flickr thing. And I will love you forever. Which is obviously important.

    Since you’re so lonely.

  29. lizriz says:

    Some people do come to the oddest conclusions about blogging. It can get wearisome.

  30. Avitable says:

    Absconder! Scoundrel! Scalawag!

  31. Carl says:

    I was so upset that we had immense cloud cover here in TX. Would have had the perfect view of the red moon also. Maybe next time πŸ™

    As for Citibank, that’s stupid. I loved your Technorati tags at the bottom of the post, haha. I work for another bank in customer service and your experience sounds unfortunate, escpecially to refuse you a supervisor like that. Oh well, at least you’re not a customer right?

  32. Dave2 says:

    ET… Maybe you should just pay the bill. That aught to fix things perfectly! πŸ˜€

    Kilax… Oh I seriously do get emails like that. The last one was just two weeks ago from somebody who had a bog ol’ list of questions about my relationship history. I wrote back and said “what is this… or something?” He then wrote back and said he was just curious. Bizarre!

    Bombshell… I drafted a letter. We’ll see what happens (if anything).

    Karl… Well, you DO know it all, so doesn’t that make you special?

    Curiosity… But, then again, they are fans. Scary fans. But fans.

    Willy… It really bothers me that companies like this are completely oblivious to the security of people who use their services. Insanity.

    Granddaughter… I think that Lifetime Television only has six different movies, they just re-title them hundreds of times.

    Miss Britt… Configure Flickr to accept photos via email. Put the email address they give you into your iPhone. After taking a photo, simply send it to Flickr via email and you’re done!

    LizRiz… Yes. Yes it does. I don’t understand the mentality that if you put a piece of yourself on the internet, that people are somehow feeling entitled to the rest of you. Oh well. That’s blogging for you.

    Avitable… All that and more. Time for a Thesaurus search!!

    Carl… And now I never will be a Citibank customer, knowing how poorly they deal with people’s personal information. Of course, it’s probably the same everywhere. πŸ™

  33. bogup says:

    As PeeWee would say, “I know you are, but what am I?”

  34. Mooselet says:

    I’m never going to ask you these types of questions so that I can keep up my personal fantasy of someday us meeting and having a passionate love affair on a tropical island.

    If it helps, credit card companies are asshats no matter what country you live in.

  35. Dustin says:

    Wait, you don’t think you’re better than me?

    I want a refund.

  36. Dave2 says:

    Bogup… Speaking of PeeWee, apparently Paul Reubens is trying to revive the character for a new movie. How cool would that be?

    Mooselet… I assure you that the fantasy-me is much more impressive than the real-me, so keep dreaming! πŸ˜€

    Dustin… Well, yeah, of course I do. Secretly, I think I’m better than everybody!

    Dustin… D’oh! Did I just type that out loud??

  37. margalit says:

    It’s funny, but when I read about how you’re always so tired and you don’t sleep well, and you’re stressed about traveling all the time, I don’t see you as lucky at all. I see you as driven to do a good job at work, and the travel is all a bit wearying.

    In fact, I often worry about you, because I’m a Jewish Mother and that’s what we do. It just seems your life is so hard sometimes. So what does that say about me?

  38. Tracy says:

    Say what???? PeeWee’s coming back? Hot damn, I’ll be there with bells on.

  39. kapgar says:

    FINE! I’m not telling you anything either! Not that it would interest you. I’m boring. πŸ˜‰

  40. You know, you are absolutely right. It’s ever 90 days, not every six months. My bad. At least they will call you and stuff, instead of the credit companies doing nothing but keeping you on fraud alert. Plus, they DO reduce junk mail for you (which you can do yourself anyway). It’s something you can certainly do yourself, but I have found that personally getting in touch with the credit agencies is almost as bad as trying to work with your health insurance company.

  41. Wayne says:

    Hey, I didn’t know Dave was taking guest posters today! Who is it behind the curtain today, huh? *looks around* Where’s Dave? DAAAAAVE!

    Hmm. I wonder where Dave went. Because we all know Dave doesn’t have a girlfriend, life, or anything because A) he doesn’t blog about it, therefore it does not exist; and B) his blog *is* his life, spending all that time doing cool stuff and blogging about it, approving comments, replying to comments, and blogging on other people’s blogs! Yay for me knowing him so well!

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