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Posted on Monday, January 7th, 2008

Dave!Many of the streets here are covered with one to four inches of compact ice. This makes starting and stopping quite a chore. As I was leaving the office to go home and get some dinner, a massive trailer-truck came barreling up with his window rolled down and slammed on the brakes to ask me a question... and proceeded to skid twenty-five feet right on past past me. Without missing a beat, he asked a guy down the street for some directions. I laughed about this all the way home, but don't really know why.

Despite the icy roads, today was truly a beautiful day. Blue skies and sunshine all around.

The day after tomorrow is supposed to be similarly gorgeous.

But what's the forecast for TOMORROW when I am due to fly out?

Dave Weather

Yes, that's right snow. And not just a little snow, but a shitload of snow. I've heard "two feet" being bantered around in the forecast which, needless to say, would be extraordinarily bad. There would be no flying anywhere with two feet of snow being dumped on the airport.

Of course, given the accuracy of the weather forecast, I'm not starting to panic just yet.

Well, maybe a little bit.

Nah, not really. Whatever happens, happens.

Sigh. I have about five hours of work left tonight and I haven't even packed a suitcase. I'm beginning to think that I should just wear the same clothes for the entire week and not take a suitcase at all. So what if I end up a smelly mess? When traveling, that might actually be a benefit. Nothing says "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, DUMBASS!" better than a week's worth of stench.

In other news, I have self-diagnosed myself with Restless Leg Syndrome.

I can't get comfortable at night because my legs get all achey and tingly, and I can't stop wiggling around. I'm thinking this might be adding to my insomnia problem. So now I need to get me some Requip. Except reading the "Possible Side Effects" on their web site has given me pause...

"Some patients taking ropinirole have shown urges to behave in a way unusual for them. Examples of this are an unusual urge to gamble or increased sexual urges and/or behaviors. If you or your family notices that you are developing any unusual behaviors, talk to your doctor."

That's all I need... to become a sex-crazed gambling addict (among other things... hallucinations? seriously??).

Although I am curious to know what bizarre sexual urges and behaviors I might develop.

A scorching case of sex addiction with a bit of a chocolate pudding fetish on top?

One can only hope.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. apricoco says:

    Oh this could be bad, very, very bad. What if you had an urge to gamble that was so strong it left you so poor you couldn’t buy chocolate pudding? That would be tragic! Then you’d be a sexually frustrated pudding-fetishist (I don’t know if that is a word, but go with me on this one) living on the streets selling your body for money. Not to buy crack, but pudding. Then we’d all read about you on CNN’s Oddly Enough. And, because you’d be in jail for prostitution we couldn’t have DaveToons!

    Resist the Requip. For all our sakes.

  2. whit says:

    I know why you laughed. Because it’s funny. It made me laugh out loud.

    Here’s some sexual pudding for you (it’s safe).

  3. Neil T. says:

    I knew someone who self-diagnosed as having restless legs syndrome, but after being seen by a healthcare professional it was eventually found that she had a trapped nerve in one of her legs. You may want to get yourself checked out, especially if you fly a lot.

    (Not trying to scare you, or anything…)

  4. I’m afraid your brain must be short-circuiting the signals to your legs because it’s exhausted from over work. Seriously, you need to take a week off and just rest at home, do fun stuff, and eat lots of pudding. You’re burning the candle at both ends my friend, and your body is rebelling.

  5. yellojkt says:

    It’s not a side effect! It’s a feature! Expect a thriving blackmarket in these little pills.

  6. Kyra says:

    I guess the side effects all depend on whether or not Bad Monkey is involved. 😉

  7. kilax says:

    We are having rain and tornadoes in IL. What is the deal with that? This weather is really freaking me out. I am worried it will eventually freeze and everything will be all iced over like it is there. I hope you don’t get that 2′-0″ of snow today!

    (wow, can you tell I am an architect by the way I wrote “two feet”? ha ha)

  8. Nilsa S. says:

    Today, I decided to delurk! Your trucker story was hilarious – thanks for the laugh. I, too, have self-diagnosed myself with RLS. It’s very inconsistent, but I toss and turn when my legs tingle and show a general likeness to being on fire. Taking Aleve on those days seems to help some. So, unless you’re looking for an excuse to increase your sexual appetite, maybe you can try an over the counter remedy first?! Good luck with that!

  9. the patient says:

    “Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!”

    I may be misquoting that…

  10. Hilly Sue says:

    And here I thought you *already* had combined your pudding fetish with your sex crazed behavior….silly me ;).

  11. Avitable says:

    Dude, if you ask me to bleach your anus, I’ll do it, but only for a price.

  12. Lewis says:

    Chocolate pudding? Are you sure you want to go with that? I can think of numerous, far superior, fetishes. And now we’re self-diagnosing? That should cause all of us a moment of pause.

  13. Adena says:


    Well, all that would happen would be that EVENTUALLY all the cocktail waitresses in Vegas would avoid you like the plague, and you’d constantly hear muttered whispers about “Donkies…” and “Giant Cucumbers” behind your back…but, you’d be too busy playing blackjack to really notice, or care.

    And hey! Your legs would feel great!

  14. Miss Britt says:

    For some reason the idea of you working Washington at an actual office seems strange to me.

  15. Iron Fist says:

    Well. If you were a sex-crazed gambling addict, at least you’d have no shortage of escapades to blog about.

  16. kapgar says:

    There are drugs that make you want to gamble? Now that just sounds funny.

  17. Not A Granny says:

    OMG, I didn’t know you were in Cashmere! Please, please, please send me some fresh Applets and Cotlets!! The stuff we get here is stale! I grew up in Wenatchee and was there over Thanksgiving!!

  18. Belinda says:

    Alex and I have heard that drug warning on the commercial, and to us, it translates as, “If you are bipolar or are genetically predisposed to bipolar disorder, taking this drug could very well trigger full-blown manic episodes.”

    There are several medications and physiological conditions (like hormonal changes) that can trigger mania and the onset of bipolar disorder–Jane Pauley, now diagnosed as bipolar, had her first manic episode at the age of 54, following a course of steroids.

  19. Webmiztris says:

    I don’t even have RLS, but that sounds like a kinda fun drug to try anyway. 🙂

  20. Karl says:

    Chocolate pudding and sex? Sign me up!

  21. Dustin says:

    I’m with Vahid. You need to start this medication purely for the amusement of your reading audience. And remember when you find yourself in Vegas, there’s no sex in the champagne room.

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