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Posted on Monday, January 14th, 2008

Dave!Yesterday I left for the Biloxi airport at 4:00am and was dreading the day to come. With four connecting flights ahead of me... all with very short layovers... the odds of something going wrong along the way was huge. First flight: Biloxi to Memphis - on time. Second flight: Memphis to Minneapolis - on time. Third flight: Minneapolis to Seattle - on time. Fourth flight: Seattle to Wenatchee - uhhhhhhhhhh... not so much.

Wenatchee was fogged-in, and not a single flight had made it into the city all day. Not surprisingly, my flight was also canceled. This meant I got to hang around the airport with a bunch of really cranky people while waiting to see if we were going to be bussed, or if I would have to find a hotel and get re-booked for another flight.

And so the bus it was.

Three hours on a bus with 56 of my closest friends.

Which was lovely, let me tell you.

And yet, that was nothing... nothing... compared to the torture I was forced to endure tonight.

Because tonight was when a group of us from work decided to go see National Treasure: Book of Secrets.

Don't misunderstand me here though... the torture wasn't in watching the movie. Sure it was a complete re-tread of the first movie with no real improvements or memorable story elements. Sure it had so many plot holes that I was pulling my hair out at the end. And sure it pained me to see the remarkable Helen Mirren lowering herself to appear in something so mediocre and poorly directed. But all that was to be expected.

What was NOT expected was that Disney would make you sit through a Goofy cartoon before the film actually started. I fucking HATE Goofy. I find absurdly stupid cartoon characters to be just a annoying and un-funny as absurdly stupid people. I mean, seriously, this shit is supposed to be humor?

Goofy Bullshit

Well, no thanks.

I prefer to take my crappy movies WITHOUT a shitty cartoon up front.


Sigh. I would gladly trade every Goofy cartoon ever made for a single new episode of Invader Zim.

Categories: Movies 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. borysSNORC says:

    I think you gotta chill a bit Dave…. it’s not Goofy’s fault he’s so reminds us all so much of George Dubya.


  2. Suzy says:

    OK, remember our convo on my cartoon issues? This ‘Goofy’ observation summed up every cartoon I ever watched as a kid. I found them all stupid and if there’s one thing I hate more than an APR going sky high with no advance warning, it’s stupidity.

    Only I forgot the name you called me. What was it again?

  3. Glenda says:

    You know, I never really thought about it, but Goofy is pretty damn annoying…

  4. Whit says:

    You have no idea how big a deal this is in the Disney community. I haven’t seen it yet, so I can’t say one way or another, although I do enjoy the nostalgia of it, at least in theory.

    It’s all part of Lasseter’s bringing back Disney.

  5. Göran says:

    National Treasure: Book of Secrets was a total let down. I was so disappointed and cranky when leaving the theatre I almost demanded my money back.

  6. ~jtm says:

    Ah! Invader Zim… we love that in our house. My 13 y/o can probably quote you any line from any episode .

  7. Andy says:

    I thought you knew about goofy as you emailed me about it when I went to see the film. I however didn’t grow up on Goofy so I enjoyed it – the film wasn’t that bad either if you ignored the plot holes

  8. serap says:

    I quite liked goofy… and I never thought he was stupid as a kid, just really clumsy, sort of in a Laurel and Hardy way. But I haven’t seen a goofy cartoon in a very long time, so really these are my thoughts as an 8 year old!

  9. kapgar says:

    And here I was thinking there was a slim chance you’d forgive the cartoon because of the HD plotline to it. Guess not.

  10. Miss Britt says:

    The passion here Dave is.. um… remarkable. 😉

  11. Tracie says:

    “I mean, seriously, this shit is supposed to be humor?”

    Only if you’re five years old.

  12. Avitable says:

    But don’t you see the irony? Goofy’s actually the smartest one – he just pretends to be dumb so everyone underestimates him before he kills them all.

  13. bogup says:

    I always felt pity for Goofy since he couldn’t help being constantly clumsy and stupid.

  14. Foo says:

    Shreddin’ the Goof Man…Well, I’ve got mad respect for him, after all…he showed me the way in driver’s ed.

  15. Michelle says:

    I’m with you on not showing cartoons at a movie. Unless the movie is made for 5 years old then it just shouldn’t be. I don’t think anyone should be forced into Goofy without some sort of fore knowledge.

    Many many (many) years ago I saw Journey in concert, night before the last day of 9th grade. Their opening band (I don’t remember who it was) didn’t show so they dropped big – BIG – screens over the stage and played 1/2 hr of cartoons until the band came on. Granted, it was Bugs Bunny, but still. I don’t remember paying that much money to watch cartoons.

  16. martin says:

    Have you put aside some money for a MacBook air ?.
    It is sex in a metal case………….

  17. ajooja says:

    Helen Mirren was supposedly in “Raising Helen.” It’s not like every movie role movie has to be a Merchant-Ivory film. Besides, popcorn flicks pay the bills and give you the money to pursue your art.

    The key is to not ruin your career like Cuba Gooding, Jr.

    Couldn’t agree more about Goofy. What an assbag!

  18. Hilly says:

    Ahhhh, *this* explains the mental breakdown in the middle of Disneyland. 😉

  19. Dustin says:

    I too was offended by the dumbshittery that was the cartoon.

    If they want to get all retro, why not just throw in a 10 min. GI Joe short? I’d even settle for the smurfs.

  20. Wayne says:

    Now that I think about it, I guess I “put up with” Goofy. I didn’t think much about it at the time; besides, I was much more of a Looney Tunes devotee than Disney. Disney was for Sunday night on TV and bringing us kick-ass DREAM BIG movies like Escape from Witch Mountain, Cat from Outer Space, Pete’s Dragon and Herbie.

  21. annie says:

    Yeah! Totally what’s with that?
    That and, like, blogs with cartoons in them!

  22. kaelb says:

    Now you are making me miss Invader Zim.

  23. Lewis says:

    too bad those wenatchee flights don’t come through portland….you could come and hang with us. we’re right by the airport! sorry for all of the trouble. ick.

  24. James says:

    I might not be too crazy on Goofy either, but the subject matter of the cartoon was spot-on for me. I was almost in tears by the time he got around to installing the surround sound..and sub woofer. “Front speakers..a little more to the side front speakers..front corner speakers..”

  25. Kirsten says:

    It was probably the same Goofy “short” that I saw before National Treasure 2 aswell (giant TV’s…?).
    I hated it too. I know Disney is Pixar, but they should defintely not try and copy those amazing creative shorts.

  26. Sugar Kane says:

    Goofy, Pluto, Mickey. I hate them all. The worst is that Taz fucker.

  27. the patient says:

    I know. What was up with that cartoon. I was incensed and amazed that people actually laughed. But then, people voted in the current president too. Now, a cartoon of Bush trying to set up a home theater system would have been hi-larious.

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