Bee-boo-bee-bloop-blarp!
This entry probably won't make much sense. I spent the day at the world's largest candy show, and consumed so much sugar that my brain hurts. And I think I'm going blind. My hands are kind of shaking too. Perhaps I'm on my way to a sugar-induced coma or something?
What a way to spend a Bullet Sunday!
• Candy! Oh, alright... I kind of promised myself that I wouldn't blog about the candy show because I've done that before (here's 2005 and here's 2007), but just two things...
It's Hannah Montana, bitches!! I so totally want one of those mini star purse tins!
"Billy, do you want a lolly? Okay then, pull one out of the FREAKISHLY FRIGHTENING VAMPIRE HEAD!!"
• Milk! Well, maybe three things... Coolest product at the show this year? BAM! It's Quick Milk! This product is a straw with flavor beads in it. When you suck milk through it, your beverage magically changes flavor and color! TOTALLY AWESOME!! Though... is it just me, or does the product description sound vaguely sexual? "Stick into milk and feel the taste?" Wha-??
In any event, science prooves Quick Milk is good for you too!
• PEZ! Okay, four things... I have a small collection of PEZ candy dispensers that I've collected from around the world. When I mentioned this to the very nice lady working the PEZ booth, she very graciously gave me a bag filled with new PEZ dispensers, even though I'm not a corporate candy buyer! I didn't think it was possible for me to love PEZ more than I already do, but this was so awesome that now I am compelled to! The coolest I got were a Mozart PEZ head sold only in Austria(!), characters from an upcoming movie called "Kung-Fu Panda", and a Johnny Depp head from Pirates of the Caribbean 3! I also got to see prototypes they had on display for upcoming movie tie-in dispensers for Batman: The Dark Knight, Madagascar: Crate Escape, and Disney/Pixar's WALL-E.
I LOVE YOU PEZ!! You're my favorite dispensable candy!
My cool PEZ tote bag that I carry everywhere now!
• SEASONED! Tonight as I was buying yet another slice of street-vendor pizza for dinner, a guy behind me (about 45 years old and obviously American) asked me if I was an American. When I told him "yes" he kindly offered me some advice from a "seasoned traveler" (which is what he called himself)... "You need to get yourself a money belt, because if you keep your cash in your pocket like that, somebody might steal it and that would end your vacation real quick!" Now, having just watched EuroTrip where there's a gag involving a money belt, it took all my composure not to bust out laughing. He was trying to be nice, so I was doing my best to play along (even though, technically, I consider this to be bad advice, as it marks you as a tourist carrying a lot of cash)... "Oh, thanks for the tip! You've traveled a lot then?" I query. "Yep, this is my third time to Europe and I've been to Canada and Mexico, of course" he said with pride. "Ah. Have you been to Asia then?" I asked. "Ummm... no... just to Europe the three times now," he answered, putting extra emphasis on the "three times" part. I just stood there staring at him with this blank look on my face, wondering how somebody who has been out of the country only three times considers themselves to be a "seasoned traveler." Probably because he watches Rick Steves (rolling my eyes here) on television or something. Not really knowing what to say, I stupidly blurt out "Oh... well, good luck with that then!" and scurried off. I've lost track of the number of times I've been out of the country (over 40 probably?) and could likely call myself a "seasoned traveler," but I can't imagine handing out unsolicited advice on the street to people I don't know. He was trying to be helpful, so it's hard to fault him for a kindness, but I can't shake just how bizarre an incident this was.
• ADVICE! AAAAAAAAHH! Except I feel compelled to say that, given the abundance of cash machines everywhere, it's far better to carry small amounts of cash in your pocket or wallet than to use a money belt. This way, even if you are robbed, you don't lose everything. Even if you are in a country without cash machines and where they don't take traveler's checks, I'd still say it's smarter to divide your cash on your person... keeping a small amount in your pocket for minor purchases on the street, and the rest with your passport in your money belt (or whatever), so people don't see your stash.
• FAHRT! Picked up yet another photo for my "fahrt collection" (tee hee!)...
Though, I must say, this true fart from Sweden is still my favorite.
And that's my Bullet Sunday. Since it's almost midnight in Germany as I type this, and I'm not a bit tired because I've been eating sugar all day, I anticipate tomorrow to be slow-going.
Unless, of course, I start eating more sugar first thing to get myself going...
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your fellow traveler meant well (i think)…although misguided…candy + pizza = teenage boy? germany sounds awesome, though expensive…i want to go to…fiji (maybe i’ve seen the truman show one too many times)
Is it possible to get a contact high through a blog? Cause seriously…I feel sugar buzzed just reading this entry, you crazy man ;). I’m quire amused by the “seasoned traveler” story…
Seasoned traveller wearing money belt under clothes = non-haute look for men who want to look lost a lot of weight and have a deflated tyre above their privates = easy way to spot a gullible tourist.
Thank GAWD you twittered this as soon as you posted it, now I can go to dinner without a care in the world.
I’d consider those signs typically German. Not only do they need to tell you to keep the way free _and_ that they’ll tow you, they also feel like they need an exclamation mark to drive the message home.
I suppose you love the Autobahn then with all its ‘Ausfahrt’ signs…
Brittopia… It’s my inner teenager. He just loves pizza and PEZ!
Hilly… It’s my inner bastard. He just loves making fun of people who try to help him out!
Eileen… It’s my inner gullible tourist. He just loves a man in a money belt!
Leah… It’s my inner exhibitionist. He just loves Twitter!
Sven… It’s my inner child. He just loves a good fahrt joke!
I CAME HERE IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS I SAW THE TWITTER-SHOUTED COMMAND! Wow, that was actually a pretty effective Tweet. Your powers grow ever more impressive.
I wanted to go to the candy show! *criz ot eyz*
Okay, since I didn’t get to go to the candy show, can you get me in to the Craft and Hobby Association trade show in SoCal? That’d be great. Thx.
My mom would always arrive from France with a butt load of cash. Only I never saw it in her wallet. She would just have a few C notes in there and I’d never think twice about it. One day I walked in on her while she was unpacking and she had this HONKIN’ money belt filled with C notes. I thought she might be a mule or something.
A seasoned traveler like yourself, I’ve never lost Dime One in my travels. But I had my wallet stolen twice in NY.
I’m not a fan of Germany, altho I’d love to go to Berlin. But your blog makes it sound a LOT more exciting than it is!
Hey, you may very well go blind, but it won’t be from too much sugar. It’ll be from doing YOU KNOW WHAT.
Can feel the sugar high from here. Am now jittery and awake. Damn!
And now I want to, and probably will, watch Eurotrip.
I can forgive you Hello Kitty. But seriously… Hannah Montana? You might not want to show your face in my presence again… I’m gonna have too much fun with that.
Directly from Twitter, here I am, also.
As an unseasoned traveler who has been to Europe exactly once, I, too, remember laughing with my friends at all the fahrt signs. Ah, that brings back memories.
We also liked the kinder, gentler English signs like “Mind the Gap.”
Leading medical journals suggest that eating too much sugar can cause inner thoughts of repetitive texting.
Great post Dave! Luv the Johnny Depp pez dispenser and as for the seasoned traveller — anyone should know that robbing American tourists is a lost enterprise since our $USD is in the toilet and we’re broke.
Quick Milk? pfft! We had Flav-R Straws back in the 50’s. Everything old is new again, I guess. (Except for stuff from Apple, of course.)
That milk straw is pure genius.
Dave, not all of us get to be true “seasoned” travelers like you 😉 I am super jealous!
You go to Germany and eat PIZZA?!?!?! No, no, no…. drink BEER!! Eat nothing, drink BEER!!! Trust me. I’m SEASONED.
I wasn’t worried about this Hannah Montana thing until you said you wanted a mini star-shaped purse.
You need more sleep, Dave.
Ich hoffe, daß du Spaß in Deutschland hast!
Hope you don’t get a tummyache from the candy.
Fart! When I was in Copenhagen (you know being the “seasoned traveler” that I am) over the summer, the Copenhagen Marathon was going on. I nearly fell over when several of the runners went by with shirts that said: fartholder! I was cracking up. Seriously. It took me two days to gather the courage and composure to ask a local what it meant. Apparently Fart in Danish is a reference to speed. So the runners were speed holders. Although, I hope they were holding their farts too, cause that just made my trip. =)
here in Norway we have FullFart.
The back of our Froot Loops cereal is hawking these Cereal Straws, and we’ve been looking for them for weeks at the 3 different grocery store chains and still can’t find them. They sound so cool!
And Clark Howard JUST had a radio show on foreign travel and reminded people of a few things – 1) the dollar doesn’t buy much right now, 2) NEVER keep more than a small amount of cash in your pockets, especially Rome, due to pickpockets, and 3) if you use a money belt, NEVER get to it in front of anyone. Always go to the bathroom or somewhere private to re-supply your pockets.
We have those flavoured straws Down Under and they come in all sorts of flavours – chocolate, chocolate malt, strawberry, caramel, banana just to name a few. You can also get them at McDonalds as part of the Happy Meal if you get it with milk, but I think your only choices are chocolate or strawberry. Personally, while I think they’re a cool idea the ones we have here are a little too sweet. Give me Hershey’s syrup any day.
Sounds like you’re having a blast.
The mention of the milk straws reminded me of what we had as a promo at the restaurant I used to work at in Canada. We gave them out free with any milk purchase until our supply ran out. It`s called Sipahh. It`s called that because “Insert into cold milk, Sip, and say Ahh!” Sipahh straws come in six fun flavours (Strawberry, Chocolate, Caramel,Banana, Toffee Apple, Cookies and Cream and Choc Mint). “It contains no artificial preservatives or colouring and less than half a teaspoon of sugar. Each straw flavours 250-300 ml of cold milk.” They were a big hit. Also I’m a firm believer in separating your money into different sections of your luggage and/or on your person.
OMG, the sugar high explains so much. I half wondered if someone else was posing as you last night. Dude – seriously – go eat some protein today or something. LOL
Money belts are a pain in the ass. I had one in Asia and never used it because it annoyed me too much. On that note, are you excited for the Hannah Montana 3D movie that’s coming out?
I just need to know when Quick Milk is going to make it to stores around here, because something has to make this lame soy milk I’ve been forced to drink taste a little better!
Have you tried putting tequila in it?
adam got those straws for us to try
last year and we were very disappointed
the flavor (which is pretty mild) lasts for about two seconds. -__-