Most unproductive day ever.
Seriously. That time I had killer diarrhea and spent two days on the toilet was more productive. Even when I had kidney stones and was so doped up on pain-killers that I was hallucinating, I managed to get more work done. I'd go so far as to say that I managed to get more projects completed during a drunken weekend in Vegas where I spent 48 hours in bed with whores (a hooker's ass makes the perfect laptop stand when your hotel room doesn't have a desk*). I think the only way I could have got less work done today would be if I was in a coma.
I absolutely loathe unproductive days because all the work that didn't get done still has to happen sometime.
In this case, it'll probably be my weekend.
* Hookers make you pay extra for that, however.**
** And be aware that modern laptops generate a lot of heat, so it's best to use protection.***
*** Fortunately, there's a bible in most hotel night-stands which makes a terrific heat barrier and can guard against a burnt ass. Because, let's face it, nobody wants to take their hooker to the ER with scorched buttocks.****
**** Though a bible cannot protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, so you'll still need condoms.*****
***** Oh the irony...
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While sometimes I get bored with my job, I do love the fact that as soon as I leave, it’s over. I never have work to do on my own time. What can I say, I’m a 9-5 kind of guy.
you seem to have put a lot of thought into these possible scenarious.
I like it.
LOL….
Hookers + Laptop + Bible = Condom
Interesting equation 🙂
RMB
You too?
I feel the same way. Like I somehow need another weekend to recharge.
I have spent all this week in meetings. Talking about what we need to be doing, but I have accomplished nothing—because I am in meetings all day. Aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!
I love it when you talk about whores ;).
now imagining you using a hooker desk
ohhhh so that’s why they put the bible in every hotel room. I’ve always wondered….
What? No picture of Little Dave and Bad Monkey with a laptop on a hooker’s ass? I am saddened at this blatant disregard for such an opportunity…
i hate unproductive days too unless i planned for them to be that way. but even then they make me uncomfortable.
“Hooker’s Ass” would be a great name for a band, or maybe a dive bar.
Oddly enough most hookers will pretend to be a chair for free. Go figure.
I don’t even know what that means.
You’d need a damn expensive hooker to make her match the exquisite Mac style.
On another note, I joined the Mac army… and loathe to admit it, but even not 5 days later I sold my Windows (Vista) laptop.
Would that have been an asstop if I lived i Vegas?)
The single biggest reason I have a blackberry is to make toilet time more productive.