I am frickin' tired.
So frickin' tired that I couldn't even muster the energy to drive to the local Apple Store so I could score a copy of the latest and greatest Macintosh operating system that was released today: Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard. And for a total Mac whore like me to pass on a huge event like this, you know that I have to be close to dead.
Part of me blames the fact that I'm getting older. But most of me blames the shitty state of air travel today.
For the most part, air travel has been ruined by four things... 1) the airlines themselves with their never-ending delays, over-bookings, decreasing legroom, etc., 2) crazy-stupid security measures that don't actually make us any safer, 3) fellow travelers who are dumbasses, and 4) these same dumbasses talking too loudly in their mobile phones (I haven't had a trip in years where I haven't wanted to kill at least one idiot who was annoying the shit out of everybody while talking on their mobile phone at full volume).
It's gotten so bad that I'm a total wreck when I arrive at my destination. I'm so full of all-consuming rage that I can barely function. By the time I started work today I was in no real condition to do any actual work, which just made me all the more insanely angry. Let's see if unloading in my blog will help. That's what a blog is for, isn't it?
- To the moron in the security line SHRIEKING into his fucking mobile phone at Pangborn Field... Shut up. SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
- To Alaska Airlines... I applaud your investment in upgrading your check-in counters at Seattle Tacoma International Airport into an "airport of the future." I think it's truly wonderful that you are working to reduce wait times and process your customers through check-in as quickly and efficiently as possible. Bravo. However... what good is a 5-minute check-in if you're just going to have to wait in line at SeaTac security for 40 minutes? Any plans to kick the Port of Seattle in the ass to get them to open up more lines at the security checkpoints? Now THAT would be an "airport of the future."
- To the gentleman using the urinal next to me in the South Satellite... After a point, it's just playing with yourself.
- To the old hag in the waiting area SCREECHING on her fucking mobile phone at SeaTac... Shut up. SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
- To the crazy bitch cackling in the gift shop. I understand that you have found something to be funny, but your deranged, high-pitched cackle-laugh busting my eardrums every two minutes is going to get you strangled to death one day. Calm down or take some fucking meds to control your deranged squealing or you will be killed for it sometime in the near future.
- To the clutzy bastard sitting behind me on the plane who spilled a bottle of whiskey all over the back of my seat... Thanks a lot dumbass, the plane smelled like the floor of a frat house for the entire trip.
- To Memphis International Airport... Can't get the jetway to work AGAIN? Seriously, what the fuck? What the bloody fuck? This same damn thing happened the last time I flew into Memphis! Either fix your busted-ass jetways or train your people how to operate them properly.
- To the stupid bitch YELLING into her fucking mobile phone at Memphis International baggage claim... Shut up. SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Nobody gives a flying fig about your crap, so take your stupid shit outside where we don't have to listen to it.
Hmmm... I don't think I feel better at all. In fact, I think I'm even more mad than I was when I started this entry.
I need to do something fun this weekend so I can forget about all this drama.
Fortunately, I think I might just have the solution...