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Posted on Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

Dave!As I was driving home from work last night, I spotted a war protest rally going on in front of our local bank. This was a bit surprising given that I live in the conservative backwaters of Eastern Washington. Nobody ever protests anything here. But there they were.

All three of them.

But I don't think it was their diminutive numbers that was sabotaging their cause... it was the tragically bad signs they were waving around. They were barely readable. I nearly ran into the hippies trying to read what the heck they were protesting. As a designer snob, I felt the need to stop, hop out, and critique their shit, but I was just too tired.


Things didn't get much better this morning. There I was stopped at a two-way-stop waiting for my turn to go. The truck whose turn it was to enter the intersection couldn't get out right away, but there was an opening coming AND a police car was heading towards me, so I decided to wait a second.

It was then that the bitch behind me decided to honk her horn.

Never mind that I didn't have the right-of-way. Never mind that a cop was coming. Never mind that I hadn't even been stopped 20 seconds yet. This impatient, ignorant, dumbass bitch decides to honk at me.

Needless to say, I was enraged.

I rolled down my window, flipped her off, and screamed some horrible things. And didn't feel the least bit bad about it. If I wasn't running late, I would have been sorely tempted to walk back and have a chat with her. Then slap her stupid face. Heaven only knows she needed it.


Fast-forward eight hours and I'm in Seattle looking for socks. I have to walk through the women's section and notice something new...

Mannequin Nipples
Mobile phones take crappy photos.

When did they start putting protruding nipples on the mannequins?

And, more importantly, do these nipples actually encourage women to buy more clothes?

I usually hate shopping, but if I was with a woman who felt the need to constantly ask me "do my nipples look good in this shirt?" - I may just change my mind.

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. Suzanne says:

    You have to come all the way into Seattle to buy socks??

    Are they special socks with magical powers? That’d be kinda cool.

    Or was there some other reason that brought you to our fair city?

    (Other than oogling mannequins, that is) : )

  2. timothy says:

    Was it really cold in that store?

  3. Anthony says:

    What phone do you Dave?

  4. Maybe the clothing comes pre-nippled?

    Yeah, I’ve not seen nipples on mannequins either. Must be something new. What will they think of next? Stiffies on the men’s pajama mannequins? LOL

  5. serap says:

    The erect nipple thing is really weird – mannequins have them, many celebs have them, esp on TV programmes… but if we (normal people) walk around like that we get stared/smirked at or attract comments like “you cold, love?”, thus making us want to conceal said nipples. Hmmm, now I’m worried that this only happens to me… or maybe its a British thing? Maybe the men of Britain just can’t handle erect nipples? Or maybe its just my… I sense I should stop now!

  6. Karl says:

    It’s a known fact: nipples are a key element in clothes shopping. You want to look good in every situation, so it helps to see how you’ll look when you’re cold.

  7. Kyra says:

    They’re just starting to “come into fahsion” Dave. I think they’re working on launching the next best thing to the bra-less revolution (the cutout bra.) I blame it on the Pussycat Dolls.

  8. exposed says:

    personally i have the constant worry that my nipples will show in clothing and i think it is really tacky. if anything seeing a THO nipple clad manniquin would either make me never in a million years buy that shirt for fear that i would have constant trashy nipple showage – or run screaming from the store. i’m not quite sure which…

  9. Avitable says:

    I’m a proponent of mannequin nipples.

  10. borysSNORC says:

    I noticed mannequin nipples years ago around here (Australia, Australia, Australia, Amen) … Personally, I find clothing far more appealing if it’s displayed on a nippled mannequin 😐
    Don’t you?

  11. Re. the woman in the car – Think Nerf, dude.

    As for the mannequin nippleage – yeaaaaah, that’s been going on for a while. And personally it doesn’t make ME want to buy those clothes, just invest in padded bras. Maybe the point is to give male bloggers something to take pictures of with their phone cameras while shopping for socks in Seattle? Seems a lot of effort to go through just for that, but hey…mission accomplished!

  12. Mike says:

    ha ha ha!

    I got the post through my newsfeeder, and quickly glanced at it. I read the title and saw the picture. I thought it was a picture of an actual woman, standing in front of you protesting something.

    I thought to my self: “Dave is getting weirder”. 😉

  13. Jeff says:

    Sure, as if us parents don’t have enough trouble trying to keep our daughters from dressing skanky, we have to hear “but Dad, at least I’m wearing a bra – unlike the mannequins at Sears.”

  14. Chase says:

    I’ve noticed that nipple phenomenon lately, too! It’s very strange…and kinda disturbing. I mean, someone out there has a job of putting fake nipples on fake boobies. Can you imagine??

    (of course, it wouldn’t be the WORST job…)

  15. ajooja says:

    My wife is the manager of a retail store. The mannequins are hot and I make it a point to grope every inch of their perfect, plastic bodies whenever I’m in the store.

    TMI? 🙂

  16. Lisa says:

    If they didn’t pull the clothes so tight around the mannequins and pin them up in the back thus making them look like they are actually “form fitting”, the nipples wouldn’t be showing like that.

    Or maybe they just need to get some Secret Embrace bras from Vicky’s!?

  17. Suzy says:

    They started doing the nipple thing on mannequins over ten years ago, at least.

    It’s funny to me that they think women would want to buy something based on nipplage. That it’s supposed to draw us in. I think they do it for the guys. Who buy socks.

  18. Tina says:

    Yay! You must’ve had a nice nap. I like the angry posts. I finally bought a bra to hide the nipples..Nipples are back in?

  19. Hilly says:

    I think that the iPhone is going to have the same quality of camera that I have in my 8525 and it’s a pretty good little camera compared to the crap one I had in my Razr.

  20. diane says:

    Oh my! I was reading quickly and not carefully and thought you just took pictures of some random woman’s nips. And I thought, “Geez Dave, get laid already!” Ha ha.
    Yeah, I don’t get this one, considering we are supposed to buy bras to cover these things up. Hm, maybe it’s a ploy by the lingerie section to bump up business?

  21. Tracy Lynn says:

    I must admit, Dave, that I seldom factor nipples in to any decision making process I have. At least, not in any way that would affect marketing in a major department store.

  22. Hol says:

    There should be some guidelines about how long someone should wait before honking their horn. (Oh wait, road rage overrides all.) Then again, people hardly look past the nose on their face when driving. What’s to stop them from plowing through you and the intersection, without checking first? It might be different if they had a pre-nippled mannequin in the passenger’s seat. (I could see the distraction there.)

  23. bluepaintred says:

    pfft. and in a little row along side of the nippled mannequin, didn’t you notice the wee heart and fish and star shaped nipple covers? Its so we can have our nipples and uhm… eat them… wait that’s not right..

    nevermind. . . need more coffee

  24. Bre says:

    Protruding nipples would actually make me not want to buy a shirt. Because I could just picture sitting across the desk from a student in a judicial conference and feeling like the least qualified professional ever.

  25. Ah, nipping out is just not a good thing. On mannequins either. I think it is to get the GUYS to buy stuff for the girls. Because if the mannequins nip out with that shirt on, HEY the girlfriend might!

  26. Nancy says:

    Without trying to create more of a visual…Maybe they’re trying to “catch” your eye…Seems it worked….

  27. apricoco says:

    Down here in south fla. we not only have mannequins not only have erect nipples but big backsides too… but teensy waists. This is a nod to our large latina and black populations. But no matter what it still makes me do a double take to see a mannequin with back.

    Now on another note, maybe asking if my nipples look good in clothing would make my husband go shopping with me. If not, would you like to come? ha ha…

  28. NYC Watchdog says:


    Now I regret not investing in that mannequin factory back in the 80’s. I could have had as much nipple as I wanted.

  29. Michelle says:

    I’m busy searching for the blogosphere for the woman with a crappy cell phone pic on her blog of the guy taking pictures of mannequins’ nipples.

    Have a fun trip!

  30. Laurence says:

    Do my nipples look good in my Tee-Shirt Bad Monkey and his banana ?

    Oh forget this question… My nipples look always good !!! 😀

  31. Dan says:

    she’s hott!

  32. schmutzie says:

    The nipples on the mannequin suggest the mannequin’s sexual arousal, which is supposed to make a woman think that she is aroused/will be getting some. It’s a selling technique, and it’s weird. Sexually aroused mannequins are weird.

  33. I'[m not sure if the women purchase more clothes because of them, but I’m more willing to go shopping with them 🙂

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