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Posted on Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Dave!You would think that I would be due some good karma after all the crap that I've been through this week.

You would be wrong.

It seems that karma isn't done raining shit on me just yet, which is always a good sign just as you are about to leave the country. It's at times like this that you start thinking of "mechanical difficulties" happening over the Atlantic and having to land in Greenland or something. Not that I'm badmouthing Greenland... I'm sure it's a perfectly lovely place in the middle of winter... it's just that I'm not ready to visit there yet.

Raining Shit

Take arriving at my hotel, for instance. If you were forced to choose one, which of the following horror stories would you least want waiting for you...

  1. There's no hot water and you'll be taking a cold shower.
  2. All the beds are infested with lice and you must sleep on the floor.
  3. There's 24-hour high-impact dynamite blasting going on next door.
  4. The internet is broken.
I would rather have A-C than D. Heck, I'd rather be kicked in the balls than D. Being without internet while away from home sucks total ass. So guess what the answer is? Why it's D, of course! No internet! CRAP!

With nothing better to do, I decide to go to the mall and get my hair cut. That's when I notice a brand new Johnny Rockets has opened up at the food court. My favorite restaurant! I love Johnny Rockets! But it's me we're talking about, so guess what happens...

  1. You order a veggie burger and they accidentally slip you a dead cow burger.
  2. They are out of veggie burgers.
  3. The deep-fat-fryer is broke, so no fries with your veggie burger.
  4. The cook uses an old burnt bun that's been sitting on the grill sweating, so it's crusted with char on the inside, mooshy and falling apart on the outside.

Yeah, it's D again. Why would you serve somebody a burnt bun with their hamburger? It's insane. Just throw the shit away... don't ruin a customer's dinner over something that costs 25¢! I have eaten at Johnny Rockets all around the country (and once when they had them in Japan) and have never had a bad meal until today.

At this point, I was terrified to get my hair cut. What else was going to happen? Would they accidentally stab me in the eye with the scissors? Would they scalp me a bald patch on the back of my head? What? Turns out it was none of those things. They somehow managed to cut my hair without inflicting any major damage.

Not wanting to press my luck, I decide to go buy me a new iPod Shuffle Clip and call it a night. I really wanted to buy a new "regular" iPod, but I'm waiting for them to add a bigger screen so I can watch videos. In the meanwhile, I'm perfectly happy with a new Shuffle. I think "cute" is the word that best describes it... and you just can't prepare yourself for how tiny it is... it's shorter than a jumbo paperclip!

iPod Shuffle Clip

Here's hoping things start looking up for me in the morning.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2007, Travel 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. diane says:

    Oh my goodness!! It is tiny! I love little teeny versions of big things. They totally crack me up. I might have to get one now! (what’s the memory like?)
    Sorry about the no internet–I go into full-on panic mode without service. But hey, at least you didn’t have to cancel your trip because your ATM card got eaten! 🙂

  2. Kevin says:

    I loves me the new iPod Shuffle. Of course, I bought a Shuffle (the 1G) just a month before this one comes out. Go fig. But I love my 1G Shuffle as well. Great little toy.

  3. Avitable says:

    I’m wishing plenty of good karma your way.

  4. Rebecca says:

    i’ve had rufus wainwright’s cover of “why does it alway rain on me” stuck in my head for ages, so your toon is particularly apt for me today.

    And can I just say, that of the three times I’ve attempted to get a delicious, quick old-time American burger, fries and shakes at the Johnny Rockets at Pacific Place before a movie, I have been sorely let down by terrible service, horrible food and disturbingly horrific dance routines. I’ve scratched that restaurant off The List.

  5. Kapha says:

    I was thinking… where the heck are you staying that has beds infested with lice?!?

    Then I was thinking… how did you figure out they were infested with lice? Do you have some kind of lice detector?

    Then I decided I didn’t want to know… glad the answer was ‘D’, although I wouldn’t wish “no internet” on anyone.

    This past summer I decided to shave my head down to a #1 (pretty dang close) and have been LOVING IT ever since (even though it dips to -10F here in the winter). There are so many advantages I just can’t believe it.

    Plus the chicks dig it – lol! 😀 – I highly recommend it to anyone.

  6. If I were you I’d go out and buy a lottery ticket ASAP. You’re due, and that’s a pretty good thing for Karma to get you back with. In the meantime, be safe!

  7. The Chad says:

    I just saw the new shuffle for the first time today. dayumn i that small.

  8. Sergio the frenchie says:

    All the beds are infested with lice and you must sleep on the floor…

    Maybe this would be a great experience…

  9. james says:

    wait, so how do you blog if there’s no internet? oh wait, theres no internet in your room. did you use the computer in the lobby?

  10. Caron says:

    You made a big deposit in your karma account this week by sharing the any soldier info. Maybe it’s like the bank and you can’t access it for 10 working days.

    I sometimes have a hard time remembering that good karma comes to me when i really need it. Like the time when, unbeknownst to me, I dropped my billfold out of my purse on a Sat. night in Brooklyn. I realized it was gone when I went to board my plane home on Sun. morning. Assuming I’d left it at the party I went to later in the evening, I flew home knowing my friends would mail it to me. I just didn’t realize the friend who would mail it to me was one I’d never met. I got off the plane in Mpls and had a message from some guy in Brooklyn who’d found my billfold, stopped my credit card and wanted to make sure the address on my checks was where he should mail it to. Karma had my back that night.

  11. ms. sizzle says:

    burnt bun?! they should have given you coupons for free meals after suffering that. it was probably a wise choice on passing the haircut. disfiguration is hard to be cheery about.

    hope today is a MUCH better day. 🙂

  12. Bre says:

    The new shuffle was my favorite gift to give this Christmas – just about everyone got one and was delighted by the smallness and the clip-i-ness. And you’re quite right – they’re dang cute!

    Hopefully things will start looking up for you soon!

  13. Tracy Lynn says:

    Maybe there was a mixup and you’re getting Bad Monkey’s karma.

  14. i hope the shit showers end for you soon, dave.

    i can’t believe they gave you a burnt bun. I’d say that I would have complained and sent it back, but really I wouldn’t have. I would have suffered through it and complained about it on my blog just like you. 😀

  15. Bec says:

    I love me my shuffle. But word of warning – do not (while drunk) throw into the corner of your room along with shoes and coat… It will take you days to remember where it is… Days.

  16. Laurence says:

    I hate too when internet is broken in hotel !!! It is a nightmare !!!

    And for the restaurant… oh, ce n’est vraiment pas de chance !!!

    But you know… for me… I bought a shuffle because I had bad news… We should thanks Steve Jobs for that !!! 😀

  17. Laurence says:

    P.S. Lil’Dave has the thumb on the bad side !!!

  18. nancycle says:

    Burnt buns and no internet.

    That. Is ample suckage.

  19. kapgar says:

    So, if they had been out when you bought this, would you have stuck with silver or opted for one of the new Shuffle flavors? I like the burnt orange myself.

  20. Dave2 says:

    Absolutely no question I would have still bought the silver. I want it to be as inconspicuous as possible, and the silver color blends nicely.

    The only color I would have bought over silver would be Project Red, which is not available for the Shuffle. I just like red. 🙂

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