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Bullet Sunday 13

Posted on Sunday, January 14th, 2007

Dave!• Bullets... If I thought about it long enough, I'd probably be taking today's bullet points and shooting myself in the head with them. Yesterday was a disaster. My migraine kept getting worse and worse despite my taking The Special Pills. But The Special Pills just made me nauseous on top of feeling like my head was going to explode. So I was hurting and puking while trying to work, which did not make for a very productive day. Now I'm way behind, and will probably have to work straight through the next 36 hours. Still with a headache.

• Relationship... I finally managed to scrape together the money to pay off my "90-days-same-as-cash" Apple credit balance before the deadline. So I call to be sure that I have the pay-off amount correct (last time they tried to screw me by slapping on a $2 "billing fee," not telling me about it, then slapping me with $130 in accumulated interest). While on hold, a recorded voice kept telling me that a "Relationship Manager" would be with me in a moment. "Relationship Manager?" That sounds like somebody whom busy yuppies hire in order to work out their complex schedules so that they can find time to have sex. I don't know about you, but this is a much closer relationship than I am wanting to have with a bank.

• O RLY?... And, combining my first two bullet points, I am reminded of a time I attempted to build a relationship while battling a migraine headache AND being nauseated by The Special Pills. It all started when I was set up on a date with a girl who I really, really liked... but from a distance. I didn't know her very well at all. A mutual friend asked her if she wanted to go out with me, and she said something like "oh, he's funny!" and agreed. But, on the day we decided on dinner and a movie, I was hit with a huge migraine. Desperately not wanting to break our date for fear I would never get another one, I doped up on The Special Pills and went on my way. Dinner was painful. She talked and talked and talked about... well, nothing, really. My head was throbbing, and she simply would not stop talking. After paying the check I went to the bathroom so I could throw up. Then we drove to the movie with her talking all the way... I was SO looking forward to the film starting in anticipation of finally getting some peace and quiet. Alas, it was not to be. She talked through the entire film...

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah
*Those unfamiliar with internet-speak can get an "O RLY" explanation here.

It was the longest night of my life. Puking in the bathroom was actually a hilight. The funny thing was that she thought the date went great, and asked my friend if I would be asking her out again. Sure she was fun to look at, but the thought of having to endure another night of her non-stop talking without guarantee of a sexual return was more than I could take. I didn't make just one excuse to get out of asking her out again, I made five.

• Hindsight... YOU IDIOT! Do you know how rare it is to find a woman who would be willing talk to you... AT ALL?!?

• Memes... What's with all the memes lately? This latest one comes from Neil, and I've put it in an extended entry...

  1. Elaborate on your default icon. Default icon of what?
  2. What’s your current relationship status? Well, apparently I have a relationship with my bank...
  3. Ever have a near-death experience? Yes. It's not something I talk about.
  4. Name an obvious quality you have. Uhhh... I have two eyes... what?!?
  5. What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now? Speed of Sound by Coldplay. Don't ask me why.
  6. Name a celebrity you would marry. Gee... I dunno. Now that Elizabeth Hurley is getting married, I'd have to think about it. Yeah, it's Halle Berry.
  7. Who will cut and paste this meme first? Whoever is the most bored.
  8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity? I've been told a couple of times when I was younger that I look like Matthew Broderick. I never saw the resemblance.
  9. Do you wear a watch? What kind? I do not wear a watch unless I am traveling or attending an event where I need to be aware of time. At those times, I wear a beautiful Fossil watch that one of my best friends gave me at her wedding.
  10. Do you have anything pierced? Not anymore.
  11. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet.
  12. Do you like pain? Uhhhh... what kind of stupid-ass meme has Neil gotten me into?
  13. Do you like to shop? Not even a little bit. I've blogged about this many times.
  14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Two bottles of Coke with Lime and a bag of Erin's Buttered Popcorn.
  15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card? "Elebits" and "Zelda: Twilight Princess" games for my Wii.
  16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Ben!
  17. What is on your desktop background? It rotates with pictures of places I've been, but the one showing right now is here...
  18. Dave's Desktop

  19. What is the background on your cell phone? An incredible rendering of Batman by Jim Lee. That's why I call my mobile "The Bat-Phone" (even though it sucks total ass, and will immediately be tossed in the garbage the minute I can get me an iPhone).
  20. Jim Lee Batman

  21. What was the last movie you watched? So embarrassing... I just watched EuroTrip... again. I've now officially lost track of how many times I've seen that film. Can't help it though. It makes me laugh every time, and I needed a laugh. Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know!
  22. Eurotrip

  23. What was the last book you read? I re-read Watchmen for the hundredth time. What an amazing, amazing book. I find something new in it every time I read it.

Categories: DaveLife 2007, DaveToons 2007, Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. kilax says:

    I love how Davetoon shows some much versatility! I understand it (in this order) as annoyance, pain, wonder, and the wish to die.

  2. diane says:

    Ha ha! I agree with Kilax. :)
    And I don’t care how hard up for a date you believe yourself to be (Dave, you are cute, funny, and talented, and adored by millions on the web–give me a break!!) or how cute she is, anyone that talks throughout an entire movie deserves to be shot in the head. Or barbecued by a flame thrower.
    Feel better. :( Hope the migraine goes away soon.

  3. Lux Lisbon says:

    I feel your (migraine) pain. Well that is until my fabulous painkillers kick in. God bless chemistry.

  4. Laurence says:

    Bullets. Question : why do you take Special Pills if they made you nauseous?

    Relationship. In Management Science, we don’t translate Relationship !!! Maybe, for not having this thought !!! :-D

    O RLY. Before understanding what it means, I thought that it is the French airport “ORLY” !!! I don’t like people who talk in theater…

    Meme. I think I will steal this meme !!!

    P.S. I always love Lil’Dave and this Lil’Girlfriend is so cute with her lipstick !!!

  5. stephanie says:

    So, inquiring minds would like to know – what exactly was pierced?

  6. ms. sizzle says:

    my biggest fear (besides plunging to my death from somewhere high up) is that i would be seen as one of those girls. the fact that the puking was a hilight- well, that about sums it up, no?

    now i am not going to be able to resist the meme. i’ll have to steal it.

  7. Francisca says:

    Perhaps through the iphone will be less painful to listen your date

  8. Kyra says:

    Yeah, I second that – what was peirced??? ;)

    I have migraines too. Every once in a while, they bust through the medication and don’t go away. I always tell myself that I will then drive to the ER like I am supposed to where they have promised to put me in a nice, fluffy quiet room and dope me up on something serious. But, by the time I puking my guts up and feeling like death would be a good idea, I never remember. *sigh*

    Oh, and that date? You could have ordered her lots of liqour… might have changed the output of noise. (or the level of clothing…)

  9. Dave2 says:

    Kilax… It surprises me, to tell the truth, just what the toons are capable of emotionally… especially given that they don’t have facial features (like eyebrows) that are so critical to visual communication. Just two dots for eyes is pretty much it, and yet it seems to always work out… even though it is sometimes a struggle… so thanks!

    Diane… The sad thing is that I actually love conversation. Particularly with bright, intelligent women who have opinions and theories to share. I find it completely mesmerizing. Most women I meet fall into this group. Yet those who just talk about -nothing- (both men and women) drive me insane. They are not talking with you, but at you… and it’s just not worth the effort.

    Lux… The Special Pills usually work wonders for the pain… but every once in a while they don’t, and I have no idea why.

    Laurence. Usually The Special Pills kill the pain, so the nausea is worth it. If you don’t put the space in O RLY? Then yes, you do end up at Orly Airport! As for the meme… steal away! It wasn’t mine in the first place. :-)

    Stephanie… Just an ear. But how much more exciting would it have been to list a bunch of body parts that -theoretically- could have been pierced? :-D

    Ms. Sizzle… Given your intelligent, witty remarks and wonderful blog… I sincerely doubt you could ever be seen as one of “those girls!” You’re in a league of your own… ;-)

    Francisca… Well, at least I would have had something to play with while she was talking!

    Kyra… The shot that they give you at the E.R. eliminates the pain, but seems to extend my migraines… so I try to avoid them when at all possible. The nausea is a trade-off with me. If the pain is great enough, puking my guts out seems like a fair trade! But the worst part is that taking liquor with The Special Pills causes me to pass out! So maybe you are right… I SHOULD have ordered a few drinks!

  10. Hilly says:

    Blonde hair, bib boobs and DSL’s aside…..I wouldn’t date anyone annoying no matter what!

  11. Dave2 says:

    Ah! Apparently you don’t have a penis then…

  12. adena says:

    I love Lil’ Dave’s expressions, too….

    I can’t handle people that won’t shut up. Those are times I really want one of those flamethrowers of yours.

  13. Mitch McDad says:

    Just found your blog today. I have a freind with killer migraines and he takes a drug called Frova. My wife’s Uncle is a doctor and he uses it alot for migrains. Also works well for hangovers. I’ve gotten a couple scripts from him.

  14. javajabber says:

    I suffer from migraines. I want to know what the name of your “Special Pills” are … I’m getting a checkup in a couple of weeks and I want to be able to ask for something by name.

    If you get an iPhone, what will happen to your contract you just signed for recently? Or is it going to be a while before the iPhone is actually on the market for “regular people?”

    I’m totally stealing your meme … it’s Sunday and yep, I’m bored (although I just did the happy dance because I dropped The College Kid back at her dorm this morning).

    I think you should ask her out again. Why? Because maybe she was just nervous to be in the presence of “The Great One.” (Not meant sarcastically at all.) (Really.)

  15. Dave2 says:

    Adena… Yeah but, as a vegetarian, the smell of roasting flesh grosses me out!

    Mitch… Well that’s handy! I have no idea what the pills I got are even called. I dumped out the bottle into a baggie for when I travel. When my pills run out, I’ve made a note to ask about Frova.

    Javajabber… I don’t know what they are called, to tell the truth. All of my pills are dumped in a plastic bag for travel. As for iPhone, I specifically let my contract run out in anticipation of the iPhone. I am blissfully contract-free, and have been for 6 months now. The date was years ago… she’s probably married with kids by now. And, since I was fully clothed, “The Great One” did not make an appearance that night… so I guess she didn’t have any excuses?

  16. keryn says:

    You never cease to bring a smile to my face. That meme was priceless.

  17. undisciplined says:

    Heh. If “The Great One” had made an appearance, she would have been silenced quickly, right??
    Lewdness aside, that was really polite to stick with the whole date even though you were being tortured physically and mentally.

  18. Gary says:

    1. Elaborate on your default icon. ?
    2. What’s your current relationship status? None
    3. Ever have a near-death experience? Nope
    4. Name an obvious quality you have. Hair
    5. What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now? I Am the backwards man from Freddie got Fingered
    6. Name a celebrity you would marry. Drew Barrymore
    7. Who will cut and paste this meme first? ME!
    8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity? Yes.
    9. Do you wear a watch? What kind? Yes, a Sekonda gold watch that is too big for my wrist
    10. Do you have anything pierced? Not yet.
    11. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet.
    12. Do you like pain? No. Is this an Emo Blog?
    13. Do you like to shop? Only for gadgets
    14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A can of Dr. Pepper, A Can of Ginger Ale and a Boterkoek
    15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card? A Dealer Chip/Poker Blind Timer for myfriend Magnus’ birthday
    16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My Dad who is vacationing in sunny Australia while i mooch in drizzly belgium.
    17. What is on your desktop background? A picture of a seafront in the UK which i took
    18. What is the background on your cell phone? The motorola helix.
    19. What was the last movie you watched? Office Space. Yeah Im gonna need you to go ahead and file those TPS reports for me. Yeah… IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA!
    20. What was the last book you read? Understanding AJAX

  19. Miss Britt says:

    Is that why they never call the next day??

  20. yellojkt says:

    This is a mighty lame meme. Does anyone that can string together twenty questions get to have a meme?

  21. Dave2 says:

    Gary… According to my Technorati link tracker, you’re actually #6. :-)

    Miss Britt… Well, if you like to talk non-stop about stupid crap, then maybe? From reading your blog, I’d find that to be unlikely.

    Yellojkt… Feel free to string together your own 20 questions and create your own lame meme. :-P

  22. Darlanne says:

    This is fast becoming my favorite blog. Hope the migraine’s better now. And AH yes … I’ve found that a date’s good looks only last pretty much until he/she opens their mouths. Which is why I don’t date. :P But kudos to you for getting through the night!

  23. My special pills are Demerol with Phenergan. They kill the pain and keep you from hurling. I’ve been lucky in that I’ve not had a migraine since leaving AOL.

    Coincidence? I think not.

    Anyway, I hope yours gets better soon. Migraines suck.

  24. Neil says:

    Why so shy when talking about your default icon? Are you ashamed of it?

  25. Dave2 says:

    Darlanne… This is fast becoming my favorite blog too. But, then again, I’m an egotistical maniac. :-)

    Frances… So if I were to work for AOL and then quit my migraines would be cured?

    Neil… DEFAULT ICON OF WHAT? WHAT?!? Am I crazy here that I have no idea what this means? Probably.

  26. jenny says:

    Who talks during an entire movie? I’m surprised someone didn’t throw popcorn on her…

    Hope the migraines are gone!

  27. Avitable says:

    I can read Watchmen and Kingdom Come any day of the week.

  28. What I love the most, other than Dave’s ever present 5 o’clock shadow, is how her lipstick goes completely around her mouth when it’s open. Like her lips are just as wide at the sides of her mouth as the top and bottom. For some reason that just seems to enhance her gift of gab.

  29. nancycle says:

    Between feeling awful for you about the migranes…being amused at Lil Dave’s face at the movie…astonished by reading “guarantee of sexual return” LOL!…and rolling my eyes at your hindsight…a more prominate mention of the purchase of Zelda takes the lead! HOW IS IT?!

  30. Dave2 says:

    Jenny… It’s worse than you think… she wasn’t even talking about the movie. :-(

    Avitable… I become illiterate on Fridays and can barely read my name, let alone a graphic novel. Mondays are bad too.

    Jonny… It certainly seemed that way to me!

    Nancycle… I haven’t even opened the box for Zelda. I doubt I’ll even get to until I get back from Germany. :-(

  31. Alexis says:

    I’m constantly amazed by your self-control in the face of blatant asshattery. If I’d been on that date, that woman never would’ve made it out of theater alive. Yapping movie-goers drive me insane!!!! I’ve even been known to give my very wonderful boyfriend the Glare of Doom when he mumbles “where’ve I seen that guy before?” one too many times…

    Sorry to hear about the migraines…been there, done that, and I’m with Francesdanger in recommending phenegran for subduing the Special Pill nausea – works wonders!

    And finally…stealing the meme for my blog!

  32. serap says:

    You should have just hurled on her shoes. It would have saved you from having to make those 5 excuses.

    I’m still swearing by my migrastick from keeping the nausea at bay… but then I am adverse to taking pills.

  33. suze says:

    mmmm…special pills. so sorry they didn’t work…

  34. Yeaahhh. I have a friend who I briefly dated and when we first met I thought, “Smart, funny, sexy accent – this could work!” Until our third date when we went to see “The Bourne Supremacy” and he talked non-stop about how, from an engineering point of view, all the stunts were wrong (hello, it’s a movie) and then he would go on to explain what would really happen (Dude, I’m a former English major – I’m allergic to science and math and don’t know what the hell you’re talking about…could I just ogle Matt Damon in peace, please?).

    About midway through the movie, when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop no matter how loudly I shushed him (and as a librarian, I am practically a professional shusher), I had the thought, “If he’s like this during a movie, what would he be like during sex?”

    (The horror! The horror!)

    So yeah, that didn’t work out. But he’s a nice guy – you just have to remember not to take him anywhere that involves being quiet. And now he’s found a lady who likes to talk just as much as he does, so all’s well that ends well…except for people who end up in the same movie theater with them, I suppose.

  35. stephanie says:

    Well, you just got me thinking about an ex-boyfriend who had a pierced tongue… so I had to ask… ;-)

  36. Once I had an iatrogenic migrane, and ever since I have had the highest respect for people with migranes who attempt to do anything.

    Also, your hindsight is bullshit ;>)

  37. kapgar says:

    I love the eyes in the final frame of your comic. Great show of comic disdain.

  38. Peggy Archer says:

    You know, even if there were a guarantee of you-know-what, she’d probably just talk all the way through that, too.

    I dated a guy like that. Drove me nuts. He never. shut. up. Ever. I think he even talked in his sleep.

  39. the talking through the movie thing would have driven me batshit. I get pissed when I miss ONE LINE of a movie! even WITH the promise of sex, that conquest wouldn’t have been worth it, dave…lol

  40. Tal says:

    Ahhh… You should try my tactic. I just say “shushh! this is my favourite part!” every single time they try talking.

    I get migraines too, luckily not as bad as my mom and sister, they have to sometimes go to the hospital to get IV meds (or butt shots, heh heh). My “special” pills consist of an ativan (anti-anxiety) with a starnoc (a sleeping pill) (but don’t follow my example, I’m an idiot, its a bad combo). Even though I use them mostly for sleep, when you have a migraine, its nice to be able to go to sleep instead of curling into a ball and wishing you could just die already.

  41. F2B says:

    FYI: You can order Phenergan from Canada as it does not require a prescription. It works within 5 min of taking it which is really great when you have a migrane and can’t eat with the Special Pills. Also, for more Cliff-like info, it’s an antihistimine, believe it or not.

  42. yellojkt says:

    I didn’t mean to insult you personally about the meme. I know you just got it from someone else and hid it behind a continued link. Since it was a bonus feature it doesn’t even count as a full post. I like messing with memes and once I get tags from blogger I will collect and catagorize them. I think three questions about body mods and pain says a lot more about the real author than anyone that answers it.

  43. Karl says:

    Ooh, just bought “Watchmen” and am about to start reading for the first time.

  44. Bob237 says:

    To Laurence…Stuff like “O RL Y” was known as “Terminal English” when I was in the computer industry. It dates back to the days of 300 baud modems and originated with teletype operators. Their machines were so slow that each word was expensive to transmit, so a system of abbreviations similar to the the “Q” code used by radio operators for decades (For example,”QSL” = “Query Station Location”. usage – “QSL” (What is your location?), “QSL Sydney” (My location is Sydney, Australia)) was developed. I can remember one April edition of an amateur radio magazine that had an article composed entirely in Q codes!

  45. Laurence says:

    To Bob237… Q codes mean REALLY something else in French !!! :-D

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