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Identity

Posted on Saturday, November 11th, 2006

Dave!This has been one weird-ass day. It started out with my PowerBook totally dying and my visual identity stolen, then ended up with me running out of butter and nearly strangling a bitch at the market.

Throw in a bottle of Jack Daniels and you've got Christmas.

My PowerBook doesn't want to acknowledge that a power adapter is plugged in, nor does it want to charge the battery. I have to say, compared to my previous PowerBook (the amazing titanium model I love more than life itself) this aluminum PowerBook has been a total piece of crap from day one. Shitty stiff & "chirpy" keyboard, mooshy trackpad button, blotchy screen, aluminum finish improperly anodized and flaking off, a dented case courtesy of The Apple Store Genius Bar, and now a power problem. In my twenty years as a Certified Apple Whore who has owned dozens of Macs, it is the single worst purchase I've made. Hopefully Apple's usually spiffy repair service will fix things up for me, because this sucks ass.

So I drag my sweet titanium PowerBook out of moth-balls so I can check my email and get some work done... only to find out my visual identity had been stolen. It would seem that some dumbass took my photograph and slapped his name on it in a forum of some kind. A girl grabbed the photo, saw that the name of the file was "davehair.jpg" not "Kevin" as she was expecting, so she Googled it and found... me.

Dave Hair
Yeah, this time it's really Dave!

So there goes an hour of my life while I get that mess sorted out. Yet it does raise the question... how desperate do you have to be to use MY picture? Sad.

Then, after several productive hours spent working, I decide to make dinner... only to find out I am out of butter. And since you can't make much of anything without sweet, creamy butter, it's off to the market I go. Within two minutes, I've got my butter and am heading to the "12 Items Or Less" lane so I can get home and eat.

Except there was some bitch complaining that she didn't get the right price on items she bought the previous day. This meant that the checkout guy had to run to the back of the store and bring back the sign showing that the "two for one" sale was for the SMALL tub... not the LARGE tub of ricotta cheese she purchased. He tried to explain it to her, but the rude whore was talking on her mobile phone which delayed things even more. To top it all off, she couldn't find her wallet and had to use a credit card for a $3.23 purchase... but had to place yet ANOTHER call to talk to somebody about it. Meanwhile, a line of pissed off people are having to wait on her stupid ass. Something that should have taken two minutes has now stretched out into ten.

And that's the thing about rude bitches... the world revolves around them, no matter how idiotic they may be.

Meh. I should have stopped off on the way home and bought that bottle of Jack Daniels.


Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. adena says:

    I dunno….I think it’s a pretty cute picture to steal, personally….

    Maybe he looks like Steve Buscemi, or something…

  2. Dude. This must be the month for virtual identity theft.

    And really, that is a theft-able picture. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” said the pot.

  3. Mooselet says:

    Dude, you’re totally cute in that picture. Lame that someone stole it, but I can see why.

    I sometimes wish I carried a golf club to beat people with… although given the state of my hormones it’s probably a good thing I don’t.

  4. nancycle says:

    So much bitchin’ here, hmmm…Where to start. ;-)

    I can’t believe your identity was ripped off!!!! How violating. Harmph. Not that you’re not completely adorable in that photo Dave. Cuz I mean, c’mon. You gotta know. What a moron for not changing Dave to Kevin!

    About the cheese lady. I might have lost it. How do you keep from losing it?! There’s no way I would passively stand by and wait while my buttery treat would await during such a stream of complete and utter nonsense. No siree. You. Are a patient man.

    No joking about Christmas. As it stands I’m ALONE Christmas Eve!

    Good luck with the Mac.

  5. James says:

    I see why that picture is called davehair. I’d steal it.

  6. ChillyWilly says:

    We have the “10 Items or Less line” here locally, or as I like to call it: Slowest Lane to Insanity. It’s never as fast as you want it and there always seems to be the naggy ass complainer that is getting charged 10 cents more for the gallon jar of pickles. I feel your pain on this one.

  7. The Chad says:

    I would seriously flip out on that lady. As for the computer, that sucks. My 3.6 jigawatt P4 seems to have an issue running Illustrator, not that I blame it, since I cant seem to get the hang of it and everthing I try to make sucks.

  8. Kapha says:

    I imagine in that photo Bad Monkey is on a rampage screwing and unscrewing the light bulbs in your office – he just screwed them back in and flooded you with blazing lights. Meanwhile, you have been inching your hands towards the baseball bat you keep hidden beneath your desk – little does Bad Monkey know the lights are about to go out – for good…

    Our local grocery store expanded by a good three times over the past couple of years and we have a sweet foursome of self checkouts that actually run FAST – plus the checkers are kind enough to do quantities on stuff when you ask nicely. Funny, we now go through a regular checkout about once a month. Amazing how much less stressful it is. I think I would have yelled out “Good God” or something indirect that snaps people out of it. Amazed (and glad) you didn’t go postal…

  9. Laurence says:

    I’m heaving right now with joy. I’m so happy to see you without your hand on your head ! Your hair are well. They aren’t different from yours when you was a child. It’s cohérent.

    I would never have stolen your photo but I would have left a comment in order to tell you that you’re so sexy on this picture !
    ^_^

    You’re right. Cooking without butter it’s not cooking.

    Can I ask you something in keeping with the supermarket girl ? It seems that you met girls with stupid behaviours ? Can we generalize your experiments of blog with your life ? It could happen to you to meet girls with normal behaviours ? ;-)

  10. Kevin says:

    Take somebody’s image and not even change the file name? Idiot. Do you know how much trouble I’d be in if you ever found out how many times I stole your image for use on my site and elsewhere? I, however, am smart enough to change the filenames and never admit it to anyo… oh shit.

  11. Kyra says:

    I had my visual identity stolen too, but it was worse – they stole even more pictures of my baby daughter (I had a small webapge where I posted pictures just for the family who were far away). The witch set up a whole new site, claiming to have a new baby with a different name, and here was her family – all my photos. I about lost my mind (hormones suck), and got it taken down – but the last I heard, two years later she sent out CHRISTMAS CARDS with our photos on it to people. *shivvvvver* That was a long time ago, but it still makes me slightly ill…and stuck with a violent urge to beat the crap out of her.

    But as for your photo – it’s the sexy scruffy appearance. :) I get it ;)

    As for the women on the phone, I would have probably gone ballistic… ok no, I would have sat there and steamed about it, but in my head I would have been pinging ricotta cheese tubs off her forehead.

  12. ms. sizzle says:

    “Throw in a bottle of Jack Daniels and you’ve got Christmas.”

    Love that line. :)

    I have found that the lines that say 10/12/15 items or less are never shorter. It’s some sort of curse or something.

    Why do so many people insist on talking on their cell phones in public places where they are going to be interacting with live human beings? It’s so rude. And frankly? WTF do they have to say so urgently it couldn’t wait 10 minutes? Ugh!

  13. diane says:

    You know, I think it IS generally women who act like idiots when they are out shopping. I just got back from the drug store where I swear about 3 women on cell phones had me cornered. I thought I was going to have to get all Matrix on their asses!
    But I think I know why this is. Women, by nature, are shoppers, because we are gatherers. Most men, if you send them out to shop, will buy the one or two things they set out for and that’s that. They don’t feel the need to socialize on the phone or fart around the store, they are there on a mission. Now, multiply that tendency by the rate of stupidity and/or inconsiderate behavior in this world that’s why Dave can’t just go buy a stick of butter in peace.
    However, nothing is more annoying than a man dragged along to shop, especially to an outlet-mall type location. He’s helpless, and wanders like a wounded antelope, butting into customers unwittingly and generally making a nuisance of himself. Ladies, do us all a favor and leave the man at home!

  14. I’d have taken the bitch’s cell phone and jammed it in her cheese hole. Then I’d have cracked her skull with that worthless PowerBook.

    Nobody gets between a man and his butter.

  15. Tara says:

    Mighty…

    Where exactly is “a bitch’s cheese hole” located. ;) I prefer pie hole or cake hole, but that’s just me.

  16. Jeff says:

    That’s just so odd that someone would steal your picture for a forum. What kind of bizarre insecurity does someone have to have to need to do that? So just exactly how “Dave-like” was he in his representation of you anyway?

  17. Wayne Hall says:

    Yeah, we need to find out more about the person who used your picture. It’d be one thing if he paid the royalty fees the rest of us have to dish out each week to say we’re you, but to get off scot free?!?!?!? Roast him!

  18. I recently got a mail from someone who stole my tagline (Random Mind) from my now defunct LJ for their name on MySpace. They apologized profusely and deleted the MySpace account and fessed up. I was astonished because 1) that’s not such a great name and 2) they hunted me down, admitted to stealing, and fixed it before I found out.

    As for thieving Kevin and the case of the stolen photo I think he probably took it because of your cool ass, real life anime hair.

  19. sultana says:

    People on the Internet are strange beings. And, as you found out at the supermarket, can be pretty inept in real life too.

    Did you contact this photo thief? I’d love to know what his response was when he found out you were on to him ;-)

    By the way, I agree with everyone else. You look totally hot in that photo :-)

  20. ssp says:

    I meant to upload this photo when reading this… but I was on a train at the time and thus forgot later on.

    So with a little delay – cheers!

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