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Laborless

Posted on Monday, September 4th, 2006

Dave!Happy No-Labor Day, bulleted for your reading pleasure.

• MUTHERF#@%ING SNAKES ON A PLANE! I finally saw SNAKES ON A MUTHERF#@%ING PLANE today. It couldn't possibly live up to the hype, and it really didn't. The problem is that it's supposed to be a suspense thriller... but, in reality, not so much. It's like the writer/director didn't know the formula... 1) Something startling but harmless happens. 2) There's a moment of calm for the audience to catch their breath and be thrown off-guard. 3) Then something TRULY shocking happens, smacking the audience in the face and scaring the crap out of them. Sure it's formula, but it WORKS. The movie wasn't bad and turned out to be a great way to kill an afternoon... but could have been so much better in more capable hands. Like mine, for example.

Snakes on a Plane

• GO GO GO! Just noticed that OK Go's brilliant music video for Here It Goes Again is now available at the iTunes Music Store.

• BAD MONKEY! Yesterday I was guest-blogging over at Hilly's blog and today Jenny left a comment asking who is watching Bad Monkey while Lil' Dave is away. That's a good question! Turns out nobody is watching after him...

Smoking Bad Monkey

What?!? BAD MONKEY HAS TAKEN UP SMOKING!! BAD MONKEY! BAD, BAD MONKEY!! And they're Marlboro Reds too! Sure the cigarette companies have to spend money educating children as to the dangers of smoking... but what about the monkeys?

• STUPID-ASS ANNOYING COMMERCIALS! Television advertising is expensive and difficult to do correctly. It has to be impactful enough to get attention, clever enough to be memorable, and unique enough to be effective. But really stupid f#@%ing idiots seem to confuse impactful, clever, and memorable with ANNOYING! Screaming kids, people crunching on breakfast cereal, bad music... and now I've got "moo" to deal with. I'm sitting here working, minding my own business with the television on in the background when all of a sudden screeching at full volume is "MOO! MOO! MOO! MOO! MOO! MOO!" piercing my eardrums...

Puyallup Fair

It's a commercial for the Puyallup Fair and has a little girl in a cow suit mooing. I suppose it's supposed to be cute, but it's really just ANNOYING! WTF? You think that pissing people off with your dumbass commercials is going to entice them to visit? Needless to say I won't be attending... even if Depeche Mode is having a concert and Elizabeth Hurley is appearing nude.

• RETRACTION! Obviously, that was a lie. Even if Elizabeth Hurley were appearing fully-clothed at the Puyallup Fair, I would be there. Probably for Depeche Mode too.


Categories: Movies 2006, Television 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. RW says:

    Silly monkey – cigarettes are for KIDS!

  2. You know, smoking is now the least of your worries. Cigarettes are just ‘gateway’ tabacco. Soon it will evolve into chew, cigars, pipes, and *shudder* nicorette.

  3. Annette says:

    Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Gaaaah!

  4. Rachel says:

    I literally gasped when I read that you wouldn’t go if Elizabeth Hurley was there nude.

    Now that was a smack-in-the-face shocker.

  5. sultana says:

    Just make sure Bad Monkey doesn’t try to park in a handicapped space while he’s looking for a ciggy fix!

  6. Hilly says:

    Now I feel so bad that Bad Monkey has taken up the nasties…tsk tsk, see how Vegas gets you in trouble by osmosis???

    Thanks for babysitting lil Snackiepoo; it is a rocking post and much appreciated!

  7. Mooselet says:

    You can’t leave those monkeys alone for one minute, can you? Now you’ll have to show him pictures of diseased lungs and old monkeys in the hospital on oxygen to get him to stop. Tsk…

  8. Kapha says:

    Dare I say it …

    :: wait for it … ::

    Sounds like the only solution is to spank your Monkey, Dave.

  9. Laurence says:

    iTunes should create a categorie : hypnotic videos. Because OK GO’s video… woo… it is really hypnotic !

    As the saying goes, when Lil Dave’s away, the monkey will be bad, very bad. :-)

    Oh, you say “moo”… we say “meuh”. But I confirm that these commercials are irritating. I think all commercials with children are almost irritating (on the planet). For example, we have “Société Crème“.

    I don’t want to finish with irritating things. So, for making a link between “Snake on a plane” and commercials, there are 2 french funny commercials.

  10. Karl says:

    Still gotta see “Snakes.” It’s Samuel L. Effing Jackson. Maybe the sequel will be “Bad Mothereffing Monkeys on a Plane.”

  11. kapgar says:

    And look at the effect that cigarettes have on monkeys! He seems a bit jaundiced in the chest region. Will the horrific side effects of smoking never cease!?!

  12. ms. sizzle says:

    i so hope i don’t see that commercial. a kid mooing? lord have mercy.

  13. yellojkt says:

    “Knock, knock”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Interrupting Cow”
    “Interrupt-“
    “MOOOOOOO!”

    This moment of hilarity brought to you by fourth-graders everywhere.

  14. Jill says:

    I love OK Go! Did you see that they did the Treadmill Dance *live* at the VMAs? I guess they were really afraid of messing it up in front of millions of people, but they did a great job. Love them guys :D

  15. Wayne Hall says:

    If an infinite number of monkeys typed on an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they’d come up with the entire works of Shakespeare.

    One Bad Monkey on an Apple, however…

  16. Kristy says:

    If you can’t do it at a trot or do it at a gallup, I won’t be going to Puyallup.

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