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Posted on Friday, September 8th, 2006

Dave!When I went home to pick up my forgotten wallet, I was greeted by a small white butterfly. She was randomly flapping around like she was on crack, and I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to imagine what that stupid butterfly was up to. Did she accidentally fly into a window and get mentally damaged? Or was she just in a happy mood and needed to dance around like a fool? I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or feel sorry for her...


I feel the same way when I happen upon really, really, really stupid people stumbling through life like they're on crack. Do I laugh because their ridiculous exploits are mildly entertaining? Or do I feel sorry for them because their lack of smarts is so severe that they're unaware of just how stupid they are?

First it was the idiot who tried to race me to the McDonalds drive-through that I wasn't even going to.

Then is was the moron who let his kid continuously blow a whistle in the middle of a store.

Then it was the nutbag who insisted I send him a photo of myself dressed as Wonder Woman.

Then it was the dickhead screaming into his bluetooth headset at the post office.

And then today I get an email from some daft bitch telling me that my Ask Dave Widget is akin to divination, which is an occultist tool of the devil. Oddly enough, this is not the same woman who told me I was "stealing glory from God" by wanting to build a monument to my greatness.

I think all I can do is laugh.

Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. oujod says:

    It takes a lot to be able to laugh and get over things after dealing with some of the idiots in this world.

    It’s a whole lot easier just to pimp-smack ’em.

  2. Wayne Hall says:

    Would you quit hogging all the idiot moron nutbag dickheads?!!??!? I swear, I think it’s because nobody but you would have a blog entry that contains the words “butterfly”, “crack”, “daft bitches”, “wonder woman”, and “bluetooth” that you get the lion’s share of experiences with these kinds of people.

    You’d probably enjoy George Carlin’s “Asshole, a jackoff or a scumbag” game show skit. The last contestant was named Wayne, of course.

  3. Nicole says:

    Wow. Dave is a tool of the devil. That’s awesome. πŸ™‚

  4. Kapha says:

    Dang, I think I got a week’s worth of DaveToon fixes just seeing that Bluetooth one!

    I involuntarily laughed *really loud* and probably woke up the whole house! πŸ˜€

  5. Bec says:

    I feel much like that butterfly today, insane and deliriously happy. The cable guys cam and now I have my broadband back – it’s all I can do to not lick the modem!

  6. Avitable says:

    That’s hilarious. I wish I got some nutballs emailing me from my blog. Maybe after my Monday post, which will be a tribute to Sarah Silverman’s discussion of 9/11, I can finally get some hate mail.

  7. Laurence says:

    “Papillon du jour,
    Toujours l’amour
    Papillon du soir,
    Toujours mouchoir”

    Louis Chedid
    (AndrΓ©e Chedid is her mother)

  8. MRKisThatKid says:

    “You are so hosed”

    That’s all ask dave ever says to me, so if that daft bitch thinks it’s the work of the occult (isn’t that full of good bacteria?) then she must think it was spot on.

  9. Kyra says:

    I’m sorry, I don’t see the problem? I mean, haven’t we already established that you are trying to bring down society and morals at the exact same time, and are going to use widget, cartoon characters and giant monuments made of cheese?

  10. Kyle I says:

    Soooo…..does one take that as a compliment to be a tool of the Devil?

  11. yellojkt says:

    You do seem to attract the crazy. Yours truly included.

  12. Jill says:

    I saw the best sign the other day:
    “Stupidity should be painful”


  13. Eve says:

    Funny, I’ve been reading you long enough now that I did not have to click on the links to the referenced entries because I remembered them from the first time I read them.

  14. ms. sizzle says:

    laugh and laugh loudly and long. it’s the only thing to do. πŸ™‚

  15. The Chad says:

    I beleive you left out the lady that parked in the handicapped spot.

  16. adena says:

    Aww…I can’t play w/ the “tool of the devil” because I don’t have a Mac.

    I had no idea Lucifer was so bigoted. πŸ™‚

  17. Mark says:

    I thought people were really smart in the Pacific Northwest.

  18. Belinda says:

    Or do you envy them their apparently blissful state of ignorance? Nah.

    And how did I miss the “Ask Dave” widget? Direct me? I thought I never missed a day here!

    Speaking of Things You Don’t Neccessarily OWE Us…what became of DavePeeps?

  19. kapgar says:

    What happens when “daft bitch” walks into a toy store and sees all the Magic 8 Balls on display? That should be fun to watch.

  20. Juli says:

    The butterfly was intoxicated by your sweetness. No wait, whose blog is this anyway??

    By the way, I’m ticked at you. I’m now officially hooked on VM. Damn you and your powers of evil!

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