Blogography Logo



Posted on Saturday, May 27th, 2006

Dave!Part of the human condition is the need to feel superior to others. It's kind of sad and petty, but it's built into our wiring somehow, and so I've learned to accept it. But it still doesn't make me very happy when people pull the superiority card on me.

Yesterday as I was heading out of Seattle, I came up to a stop light where I needed to make a right turn. While waiting for a chance to take my free-right, this douchebag on a bicycle comes rolling up along my right side AND LEANS ON MY CAR! Even worse, he's not turning, and so he's effectively blocking me from taking my free-right.

So when traffic opens up, I move forward a little bit so he'll get off my car and I can turn.

This doesn't go over very well with the dumbass bicyclist. He starts smacking my hood and screaming about my "gas guzzling polluter of a car" (which is kind of upsetting because my car actually gets pretty good gas mileage). Apparently, since he's riding a bicycle, he's entitled to do whatever the heck he wants and everybody else is just supposed to kiss his ass. I've just been dealt a superiority card.

And yet if I were to run over this idiot, I would be the one hauled off to jail! Where's the justice in that?

Truth to tell, I'm no better... as a Mac user I feel superior to Windows users, for example... but I would hope that I'm not THIS big of a jerk about it (though I was at the Apple Store today and think the new MacBook kicks serious ass).

Just one week to go...


Woo hoo!

Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. adena says:

    Um, I think if some bicyclist had the AUDACITY to LEAN on my car at a light, I probably would’ve just floored the car at some point, and let him fall sideways on his ass…(and hopefully get run over by the car behind me.)

    But, maybe that’s because I’m not a mellow Buddhist like you. 🙂

  2. Rabbit says:

    Please tell me that as he was bitching at you, you decided to clean your windshield.

  3. jodi says:

    but you ARE superior to windows users. it’s true.

  4. Charred says:

    So, as a Linux user, do I get to feel superior because I can go “root?”

  5. Karl says:

    Once again, you display your superior non-violence over mine. After that BS, I would have jerked my car forward an inch or two at a time repeatedly till he got his grimy paws off my car.

  6. Caitie says:

    All Mac users have an innate sense of superiority to Windows users because it’s our right.

    *shakes head* I would’ve killed that frigging cyclist.

  7. Rob says:

    I would have so turned when given the chance. Lean on my car. He would be lucky if i didn’t get out of my car and shove his bike up his… well you know.

    And you are superior to windows user. I know because I am and I make sure they know it.

    Silly little Windows users.

  8. Ya’ know, a little self-preservation with cyclists and pedestrians goes a long way. I hate it when they dart out in front of me without looking or caring and think I’m going to stop when they’re 4″ from my bumper. I honk at them. Usually scares them enough to flip me the bird. Heh.

    I feel superior to no one I guess. No need to. Well, the people at my old office, but that was just because they were the first generation in their family to walk upright.

  9. adena says:

    The other day, I was driving w/ a large group of cars up the highway that runs through town. It’s a 35 mph stretch of highway, but people usually drive a little faster. It was a busy time of day, and there was a LOT of traffic zipping along.

    All of the sudden, this bicyclist on a 10 speed comes FLYING out into the middle of the highway from a side street. RIGHT in front of the streams of traffic….ACROSS all 6 lanes of traffic. He made NO attempt to even look before he flew out. He had to have been going around 25 mph, himself.

    He nearly got plowed down by about 6 cars, but as it was, they all slammed on their brakes, and wound up just barely missing him….and almost causing a gazillion car pile-up. He never even looked back, just kept zipping on his merry way.

    I swear, you lose like 20 IQ points if you bicycle too long. (See? That’s superiority from a car driver.)

  10. RW says:

    I may be just a slimey, non-techie, insignificant little Windows user deserving of scorn… but I’m having dinner with Dave on June 3.

    So y’all can just bite my inferior, saggy little ass. Heh!

  11. Eve says:

    Dude, I live in NYC, where people are practically on top of one another, yet I don’t seem to have the frequent hostile run-ins with my fellow man the way you do. What are you doing? Where are you going? I don’t understand!!! Seriously, there has to be something you’re just not telling us.

    But, even though it’s majorly screwed up that a bicyclist used your car as a leaning post, I can’t help but find the guy’s audacity wildly funny.

    I, too, have a Mac-user superiority complex (though, it isn’t without merit, and my saying so only goes to prove how much of that complex I actually have).

  12. Cavan says:

    I imagine he was a follower of Daveism. Clearly, he was simply trying to absorb some good spiritual Dave-karma via osmosis.

  13. Bec says:

    So, I’m considering robbing a bank in order to fund an emergency life changing trip to Davecago. It’s gotta be a bank because I’m fairly certain no one will want to buy one of my kidney’s on the black market!

  14. Brent says:

    I thought environmentalists were supposed to be kind, big-hearted souls?

  15. Jeff says:

    I know that according to the rules, pedestrians “always have the right of way.” But it bugs the hell out of me when people walk right out in front of your car when you’re trying to drive past the front of a store, just because they “can.” Grrr.

  16. delmer says:

    I’m pretty sure the bicyclist is supposed to be obeying the rules of the road. He should have line up behind you, car-like.

    I quote from Bicycle Magazine: Don’t gain ground at red lights by passing a line of cars on the right. It’s illegal … It also irritates motorists …

    Was he wearing a lot of skin-tight lycra? Sometimes that cuts off the blood to the brain and affects a person’s ability to reason.

  17. Brandon says:

    Wow, I have never seen a bicyclist lean on someones car. That guy deserved to get beaten. Seattle is the worst city when it comes to bike riders who think they are superior. I’ve come across some of the the biggest douchebags in the city on the Burke-Gilman.

  18. SJ says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I honestly wouldn’t want another Mac if it was given to me FREE. My Windows-running PC has crashed less in the past YEAR than my Mac did in ONE DAY. That’s just one of the multitude of reasons I’m anti-Mac.

    But I do respect everyone’s right to choose.

  19. Kevin says:

    Keep a pad of waiter order slips in your car and slip him a bill for usage of your car as an arm rest the next time.

    Personally, I would’ve just said, “would you get your fucking hands of my car!” Or, perhaps, I would’ve gotten out of my car and walked around to him and leaned on his shoulder. That could’ve been fun.

  20. Rikki says:

    I had a scary run-in with a cyclist this past weekend as well. I was turning right into a driveway and apparently he’d come ripping around the corner just as I was turning into the driveway – my daughter said I missed him by less than a foot. To make it worse, he jumps off his bike and while I’m parking comes over to my car and starts yelling at me “Did you see me???” and I’m thinking uhhh yeah that’s why I almost hit you dumb ass! His parting shot was “You should be more careful!!!” So then I started thinking… when you learn road rules as a kid is not one of the first rules (if not THE first rule) STOP AT DRIVEWAYS AND MAKE SURE THERE AREN’T ANY CARS?!?!?!?!

  21. Deb_LA says:

    Did you ever see that South Park when the whole town got hybrids? They caused a huge “Smug Storm”? Hee hee. We have a lot of those here too…I can’t see them from my hummer though.

  22. Ariana says:

    Kelly refered me to you- see you on Saturday at Piece!

  23. Belinda says:

    I could cry over missing the Chicago meetup. Kelly will have to serve as my proxy. *sob*

Add a Comment


I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.



Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Contact:
Blogography Webfeeds:
Atom Entries Feed
Comments Feed
translate me
flags of the world!
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
All content copyright ©2003-2022
by David Simmer II
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security