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Turtle

Posted on Saturday, November 12th, 2005

Dave!After driving home, the first thing I did was go to the bathroom. But the second thing I did was pull out my brand-new PowerBook and wipe the drive clean so I could maximize disk space and install only the things I need. After that, Apple makes transferring the files and settings off my old laptop so easy that I dare say a US President could manage it. My new PowerBook is now good to go.

Okay, wait a minute. That was actually the third thing I did. The second thing I did was wash my hands after having gone to the bathroom. Just want to be clear that I am not typing this with pee-hands.

Not that I am a messy pee-er. I'm just saying that sometimes things spatter, and I take precautions to make sure you don't have to worry about shaking my hand if we should ever meet.

And this is not to say that I am a germaphobe or crazy-obsessive about urine. I'm just saying that I do my best to keep my hands pee-free.

And when I say "germaphobe," you do realize that I am talking about germs and not Germans, right? Because I am not afraid of Germans at all. Part of me is German from my mother's side of the family, and being afraid of yourself is just silly.

Hasselhoff!

Though the fact that David Hasselhoff is a big singing star in Germany makes me think that perhaps I should be at least a little afraid of Germans. But, in the interest of full-disclosure, I did think the talking car he had in that Knightrider television show was pretty cool.

Not that I believe that cars can really talk, I mean... it was a TV show and all... but if there was such a thing as a talking car, I would find that cool.

Now what was I talking about again??

Oh yes. Two-headed turtles...

Turtle Two Heads

On the way back from the Seattle-side of the mountains, I saw the above sign while stopped at a light outside of the city of Monroe, Washington. So many questions come to mind: Is this a zoo where a two-headed turtle is the star attraction... or is it a zoo devoted exclusively to two-headed turtles? If it's a zoo that only has two-headed turtles, how many of them do you suppose they have there? How do you think a zoo like this gets started anyway? Somebody finds a mutant turtle with two heads and decided to build a zoo or something? And, most of all... how many people see this sign and are compelled to visit such a freaky attraction?

You can bet I'll be losing sleep of those queries tonight...


Categories: Travel 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Marc says:

    David Hasselhoff had one or two hits more than a decade ago and maybe even an album sold a few more copies than elsewhere, but he’s certainly not a big star over here.

    Granted, we have other embarrassing acts but as long as Rammstein are an international best-seller, not everything is lost… ;-)

  2. trixie says:

    haha, you seem more uppety after getting your powerbook. that’s nice.. congrats!

    i’d like to see a two-headed turtle too.

  3. Alessandra says:

    Do you know that Donald Trump doesn’t to shake hands? Well, who wants to shake his hand anyways…

    And I still call K.I.T.T. using my wrist watch… maybe some day my G35 will learn… :)

  4. karla says:

    Dave, that’s a hilarious post. Seriously, LOL. Whatever you were on when you wrote it, can i have some?

    Glad to know that you don’t have pee hands. I think the world is now a safer place.

  5. Dave2 says:

    What was I on? I was on the toilet!

    I do some of my best writing there!

  6. Belinda says:

    This one is an absolute keeper. You were obviously in the grip of a Power-Book-induced manic episode. Breathe. Breeeeeeeaaathe.

    And that picture is going to be appearing unbidden for hours whenever I close my eyes. The Hasselhoff one. Thanks for nothing.

    And ME, that’s who. I would go to the two-headed turtle zoo.

  7. MY EYES!!! Will I ever be able to burn that Hasslehoff image out of my brain?!

  8. Mia says:

    Holy Crap…It is safe to say that I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing David Hasslehoff in a speedo. In comparison to the ‘Hoff, the two headed turtle has less to be embarrassed about.

  9. apryl says:

    i agree. the Hasselhoff photo was a desperate attempt to make us hate Speedos.

  10. karla says:

    “Whatever you were on when you wrote it, can i have some?”

    I wrote that before i knew you were on the toilet. So, um, no, I don’t want some, if that’s ok.

    Ew.

    David Hasselhof’s hair is too round. I’ve always htought that.

  11. Chaz says:

    I agree that the Hasselhoff image is horrible, but it’s also one of those things that’s so horrible you just can’t help but look. I mean… I can’t… stop… staring… Hasselhoff… retinas… burning… aaahhhhhh!

  12. delmer says:

    The boys and I went to see David H’s most recent movie. It was truly awesome.

    I’ll admit to being put off a bit by the Talking Sponge and Starfish. But really, it was well worth the money.

  13. Barbara Walters says:

    I’ve actually been to that zoo. It’s the Reptile Man!! http://www.reptileman.com/home.html with my kids. They love the place.. but if you don’t like snakes..don’t bother…

  14. Brandon says:

    Oh yeah! The Reptileman. He used to be in Gold Bar but it looks like he has moved to fancier digs in Monroe. I never have been to his zoo but now I’m totally there the next time we are in Monroe. I always thought he would be some kind of kook but he looks pretty normal, except for all the snakes and whatnot.

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