Anxious to have a post about Kool-Aid Man's penis no longer be the first entry on my blog, I am picking up Kevin's Halloween Meme (oooh... say that out loud... "Halloween Meme" and then follow it with an evil "Bwaaah ha ha haaaaahhh!").

Sorry Kevin, but you missed the perfect name for this one: Hallowmeme! Get it?! Ha ha ha! I kill me!

Anyway, I like Halloween well enough, but it has not always turned out to be the best night of the year for me. Something unexpected (and not in a good way) always seems to happen. I guess that's why this year I'll be hidden away in my apartment catching up on television shows I missed from my recent travels instead of heading out to a party or something.

1. Do you prefer "trick" or "treat"?  Please explain. Depends... if I am the one doing the "tricking" then I like tricks. If the big-breasted whore on First Avenue is the one doing the "tricking" then I definitely like tricks. But if I am the one BEING tricked, I don't like them so much (as to why, you might want to read this). I think anybody would rather be on the receiving end of a "treat" wouldn't they?
2. What year did you quit trick or treating?  How old were you then? I honestly can't remember. I was fairly young still... because once you get older you go to Halloween parties instead of trick-or-treating.
3. What was your favorite costume?  Did you make or buy it?  How much did you spend on it (money or time)? My favorite costume was either a home-made Robot when I was a kid, or the time I went to a "sex switch" Halloween party as Wonder Woman (and girl, I was fierce!). The robot was my own design made out of cardboard boxes and tin-foil. I spent weeks on it, because it had motors and lights (that were all battery operated) plastered on it. Not a lot of money on that one. The Wonder Woman costume was much trickier... I didn't want to look like a cheap Wonder Woman, so I ordered a quality outfit. And then certain, ahem, "modifications" had to be made to it so that I could fit into the thing (or fit my thing into it, depending on how you look at it). That was an expensive costume once all was said and done... probably $100 (and that wasn't including the cost of the wig I borrowed).
4. What are/were your five most favorite things to receive when trick or treating? For treats, it goes in descending order... Uno candy bar, Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, Candy Corn, mini boxes of Dots candies, and Hershey's Chocolate Bar with Almonds.
5. What are/were your five least favorite things to receive when trick or treating? For treats, it goes in descending order... Almond Joy Bar (I hate coconut), suckers (how cheap-ass can you get?), Bazooka Joe gum (how cheap-ass can you get?), Pixie Sticks, and any of that gross hard candy.
6. Have you ever been chased by cops or unruly mobs of costumed children on Halloween? Chased? Not really. The cops showed up to a party I was at just four years ago (they were there to halt the noise, and it was only 8:30pm!). They were perplexed at us having a Halloween party where nobody was in costume, and I think they just decided to give us a hard time because of it. I once got caught up with a bunch of kids invading a mall for trick-or-treating... they didn't chase me, but I was trapped in a Hallmark store until they got their candy and left.
7. What's the worst thing you've ever done on Halloween? Killed a man. Ha ha ha... no, not really. Well, maybe. I once got so drunk at a Halloween party that I woke up in a total stranger's house, had no idea how I got there, and had to sneak out and find a phone at a local mini mart to be picked up. I suppose that I could have killed a man that night, but nothing showed up in the papers.
8. What is your biggest Halloween disappointment? A girl I was was semi-dating got so mad at me that a big night of fun turned into a big night of disappointment. It didn't help that I was being yelled at whilst dressed in a Wonder Woman costume. How is a golden lasso supposed to help in a situation like that?

Lovely. Now the entire internet knows that I like to dress up as Wonder Woman... ahem, I mean that I once dressed up as Wonder Woman for a costume party JUST ONCE and I didn't enjoy it at all. No sir, not one bit... with my sexy satin hot pants, my shiny bustier, and my kicky tiara and golden lasso... nuh uh... nope, that was no fun at all. Hated every minute of it.

But I must say, my ass was looking mighty fine in those pants!

Thanks a lot Kevin. I'm sure I've just added a few more gay percentage points to my profile because of this. What am I now... 25%? I dunno, 25% to 28%... somewhere in there I think? Damn those satin hot pants and my fine-looking ass!