Blogography Logo
spacer

  Home  

SuperHero (Part Two)

Posted on Sunday, September 11th, 2005

Dave!Comic books have been a very large part of my past, and continue to be a source of enjoyment for me even today. They've changed over the years, of course, trying to compete in a world of ever-escalating violence and fun-time alternatives like videogames... but the idea of escaping into the utopian world of super-powered heroes is just as appealing now as it has always been.

Actually, the escape is more necessary now that it has ever been.

Anyway, onward to concluding the saga of the "If I Were a SuperHero" meme from yesterday...

Davenator

The Davenator. Modified by aliens from the future, Dave received an impervious endoskeleton, giving him fantastic strength and transforming him into The Davenator... unstoppable force against injustice! Armed with every conceivable weapon he can find, The Davenator mows down his foes with bloody abandon. Weakness: The Governator.
Strength: 8, Agility: 6, Charisma: 3, Intelligence: 3, Fighting Ability: 9, POWER RATING: 7.

Monkey Boy

Monkey Boy. Bitten by a radioactive monkey, Dave became Monkey Boy... the simian protector of the innocent! Armed with his bananarang, Dave boldly goes where other heroes fear to tread. Infused with radioactive monkey saliva, Monkey Boy received a number of fantastic powers... including his fierce "monkey bite" which can gnaw through bones, his ear-splitting "monkey screech" which stops foes in their tracks, and his "howling bitch-slap" which can annoy even the deadliest of opponents. But the most frightening tool in his arsenal is the deadly "Poo fling" where Dave can throw his radioactive monkey feces at villains, temporarily blinding them (and making them smell like crap). Weakness: Buckaroo Banzai, Lord John Whorfin, Black Lectroids.
Strength: 3, Agility: 7, Charisma: 4, Intelligence: 4, Fighting Ability: 3, POWER RATING: 3.

Captain Road Rage

Captain Road Rage. Fed up with the number of stupid drivers on the road, Dave tricked out his automobile with deadly devices to become Captain Road Rage... motor-powered predator of the streets! His faithful Saturn is armor-plated, and able to tear through even a soccer-mom's Hummer with ease. For those driving slow in the passing lane, Dave often uses his "Sonic Death Horn" to liquify them until they're nothing but a stain on the pavement. Lauded by good drivers everywhere, Captain Road Rage uses his network of "road warriors" to stay one-step ahead of the law. Weakness: road blocks, highway construction.
Strength: 4, Agility: 3, Charisma: 7, Intelligence: 5, Fighting Ability: 8, POWER RATING: 5.

Anger Lad

Anger Lad. For years Dave absorbed all the stupidity in the world until one day it exploded within him as all-consuming rage, causing him to be reborn as Anger Lad... furious avenger of sanity! With no real superpowers, Dave has to rely on his righteous fury to batter his foes into submission. Armed only with a foul temper and deadly ranting skills, Anger Lad can easily dispatch common idiots, politicians, talk show hosts, spammers, and whack-jobs, in a flurry of obscenities. Weakness: kittens, rainbows, Betty White.
Strength: 3, Agility: 3, Charisma: 5, Intelligence: 8, Fighting Ability: 2, POWER RATING: 2.

UltraDave

UltraDave. The epitome and culmination of the perfection that is Dave, he has evolved to become UltraDave... glorious overlord of all mankind! Using his god-like powers, Dave can pretty much do anything he wants to do. Dave spends his time making the world a better place for his loyal followers, and bringing blessings and prosperity to all who serve him through his divine might. ALL BOW BEFORE ULTRADAVE, OUR BELOVED RULER!! Weakness: none.
Strength: 9+, Agility: 9+, Charisma: 9+, Intelligence: 9+, Fighting Ability: 9+, POWER RATING: 9+.

Okay then, that was fun! Though, if I start spending this kind of time on future blog entries, it will seriously be time to give it up and move on to something more productive!

Movie Quotable of the Day: "I am General Zod. Your ruler! Yes, today begins a new order... your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly be given in tribute to me... General Zod! In return for your obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words, you will be allowed to live."
Two-Days-Before-Yesterday's Answer: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) with Steve Martin and John Candy.

Categories: DaveToons 2005, Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Okay, I’m ready to play this game… Sign me up! ;)

  2. girlonaglide says:

    What?! No one is weak against Elizabeth???

  3. Dave2 says:

    Well, on a certain level, EVERYBODY has Elizabeth Hurley as a weakness!

    But you can’t admit that… I’m pretty sure a weak guy would only disappoint her. :-)

  4. Patrick says:

    Imagine gathering all ten of them with Ultradave taking the lead on a march to D.C. and take care of business?
    I can see it in front of me now, watching CNN Breaking news where Monkey Boy is chasing Dubya around the lawn in front of the White House…

  5. SJ says:

    I, too, expected to see Ms. Hurley on there somewhere — maybe as UltraDave’s one and only weakness.

    Do you use Illustrator to create your toons? I’d slit my own throat first.

  6. Dave2 says:

    Oh yes, Dubya getting a monkey bite on the ass makes for an arresting visual image.

    Ummm… SJ… I’m almost afraid to say “yes?” I’ve used Adobe Illustrator since it was called “Illustrator 88.” And now that Adobe bought out Macromedia, there’s little point in switching since they’re bound to discontinue Freehand.

  7. karla says:

    Monkey Boy scares me.
    But I think the Davenator is kinda hot….
    Hmm, must consult self help book on meaning of this.

  8. Cavan says:

    I’m hoping Monkey Boy ends up a guest on the bad-ass Blogography show, because I’d give anything to see the howling bitch-slap in action.

  9. Kevin says:

    How do I become part of Captain Road Rage’s network of “Road Warriors”?

    Also, you forgot one of Monkey Boy’s biggest weaknesses… Jane Goodall.

  10. Wade says:

    Dave, these are freaking hilarious! Monkey Boy with radioactive “Poo fling” ability is my new favorite SuperHero – hahaha!!! … Nicely done.

  11. loopy says:

    Dave, that is one your best posts ever! Keep up the good work.

Add a Comment

Blankatar!

   
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.




   


   


   
   
   
Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL