Native English-speaking people are either really lucky or really lazy, and I can never make up my mind which it is. Because every time I attend some kind of international gathering... a meeting, a trade show, an exhibit, or an event of some kind... it never ceases to amaze me how many non-English speaking people are fluent in several languages. And, of course, everybody knows English, which makes it the "lowest common denominator" for the internationally-minded traveler. I guess that puts "American-English" just one level above grunting and making obscene gestures, but at least you can watch the latest Julia Roberts movie once you've mastered it.

Since I am already fluent in English (which is debatable, I grant you) the incentive to learn a foreign language for practical purposes is quite low. Sure I can make basic conversation in Japanese, and know a smattering of helpful phrases in Spanish, French, Italian, and German, but that's a long way from fluency. In fact, unless the conversation is about finding a toilet, saying "thank you", or ordering a cheese sandwich, then I am pretty much useless.

And I hate that about myself.

Seriously... the kid clearing my lunch table here today knows German, French, Italian, English, and some Dutch. And I don't mean that he has memorized a few phrases so that he can ask "may I take your plate" - this guy can actually discuss the finer points of nuclear fission and the perils of using low grade uranium and light metals for the process, all in your choice of tongues.

And there you have one of the cultural differences that set us apart. In the USA, any native who is fluent in a foreign language is considered a genius and should be working as a translator at the United Nations to bring about world peace. In other countries, if you know five foreign languages, you are considered average and are qualified to handle dirty dishes in a restaurant.

I guess that makes native English-speaking people both lucky that we don't have to learn another language and lazy in that we so rarely bother. I feel really stupid today.

Oh, and before I forget, I received five emails about Hotel im Wasserturm, so I'll try and address the questions y'all have about it here in an extended entry (though, you should really try leaving comments so everybody can get involved... it's painless, and you don't have to even provide any personal information if you don't want to!).

1. Hotel im Wasserturm literally translates as "hotel in the water tower" since that's what the structure used to be.
2. Yes, it is considered a very classy hotel by the natives, and people are much impressed when I mention that I am staying here.
3. Since there is a trade show in the city, and I was looking at the last minute, any hotel I found was going to be expensive in the downtown area. The reason I ended up at Hotel im Wasserturm was because it was the least expensive of my few pricey options... 240 Euros a night ($315 US). Had I had more time to plan and make reservations, I probably would have had a cheaper option and would have taken it.
4. All rooms have windows, but the floor I am on has them all around me instead of just one portal.
5. The internet access is wireless, but I can only get a good signal in the living room. It vanished as I enter the bedroom.
6. I have not been in any of the other rooms, so I have no idea what a "regular" room looks like, nor can I speculate about the "full-suites" other than what I've seen in the photos on their web site (look in the bottom-left corner for an English version).
7. I took a Junior Suite because it was only 10 Euros more a night than a Deluxe Room, and I thought it was worth the cost. No "Standard Rooms" were available, so I don't know how much that would have cost me. There's a price list on their site that makes me think it would be 60 Euros less.
8. It's about a mile to the Cathedral and all the tourist stuff, so yes it's within walking distance if you can manage such a walk. Unfortunately, I am working my entire time here, so I won't have time to visit. I've been here a few times before and have already seen quite a lot of it.
9. Yes, the staff speaks English. They probably speak it better than I do.

Here's a photo from my living room as it continues into the bedroom (note the curving wall!). If you look at my entry from yesterday, you can see I am on the top floor in the photo there (though there is a restaurant on top of that, which is not visible in the photo).

Probably my favorite thing about the hotel is my bathroom. It is divided into a shower with vanity that can be closed off from the toilet room. Everything is beautifully tiled in green, and the toilet even has its own sink, remarkably inset into the wall (yes, that's me in the mirror there). On top of all that, the floors and towel racks are heated.

All the robes and towels are monogrammed with the hotel's name and a little drawing of the exterior. The robes are really comfortable, and probably for sale, but it's sure to be a price that I can't afford.

Needless to say, if you are ever in Cologne (and can afford the cost) I give Hotel im Wasserturm my highest possible recommendation. Stunning architecture, wonderfully kind and helpful staff, and a fairly good location. One of the best hotels I've been in. Two thumbs up. Five stars. Dave Approved!