Passing through security was, for once, a pain-free experience (no strip-search!). That is not to say that all went perfectly. When I removed my laptop from its travel case, a data CD fell out with it, so I just set it on top. Apparently, this was not a smart thing to do. "LAPTOPS HAVE TO GO THROUGH X-RAY BY THEMSELVES" the disgruntled TSA minion declared. He then grabbed the CD and asked "IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?" Which baffled me until I saw that the CD was labeled "Death Star Schematics." The actual embarrassment directly followed, because I had to explain that the CD really does contain Death Star schematics.
And, before you get all excited, it's not because I am a Bothan spy working for the Rebel Alliance who is attempting to smuggle the plans to Alderran. A couple of months ago I helped a friend (and fellow Star Wars geek) create a digital birthday card for his brother's 40th birthday celebration. The schematics, unfortunately, were just research (the implication being that if I possessed actual Death Star plans, and had the means to construct it, earth would be doomed).
But my geekified embarrassment quickly turned to tragedy once I made my way to the gate... I couldn't get wireless internet access in the South Concourse of Sea-Tac. There are two choices for me here: Cingular, which I can connect to but is so slow that it took five minutes to load up the login screen (you expect people to PAY for this crap service?) and Wayport, which must be down just now, since I can connect but can't get an IP address to have internet access. Lovely.
Given that I am now internet-free, I've had to go find some other amusements to keep me occupied...
Hmmm... this post is getting pretty long, and I'm not even half-way through! Time for an extended entry methinks.
Anyway, as I sit here bored out of my mind, I people watch. There's nothing terribly interesting going on, but there is mild amusement to be found if you know where to look for it. With that in mind, I present you with one of the sadder casualties of modern society:
The un-hot hot-girl.
You've seen them at the malls and in nightclubs. You probably even know one of two of them. It's the woman who thinks she is "all-that" and acts as if she is blisteringly hot but is, in fact, not. They dress hot. They accessorize hot. They gesture hot. They even have the condescending attitude that hot girls have. But they don't have the goods to back it up, making them just sad. The bitch sitting two rows across from me is worse than most, especially when taking into consideration how haughty, arrogant, and rude she is to other people. If I were any less a gentleman, I would be compelled to explain it to her...
What's truly sad here is that there would be nothing wrong with this girl if she would just drop the hot-girl act. She might even be cute if it weren't for the nasty attitude, badly misguided wardrobe choices, and unfortunate hair. As it is now, she's just a bitch.
Oog. Fourteen hours of travel ahead of me. I hope I'm not stuck next to the un-hot hot-girl.
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Oooh..Dave! You get total props for one of the bitchiest things ever written by someone who is not a female! DAMN! If I sent that out to some of my friends, they might think it was written by me in one of my “fashion critic” moments! Un hot, hot girls, that’s really good. Kudos to you, beeyotch!
Yes. I think that I’ve seen too many episodes of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!”
But, after this bitch’s heinous behavior towards a guy who was just looking for a place to plug in his laptop, somebody really should have taken her down a peg or two. I get mad just thinking about it, and now regret that I DIDN’T say anything.
It didn’t help that I was sitting there with a magazine that had an actual hot girl on it… Teri Hatcher defines hot.
Indeed. From that old Superman series. The photo of her naked in Superman’s cape was always a favorite image!