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Posted on Sunday, December 5th, 2004

Dave!I have three layers of protection from spam: I have decoy addresses which I use for open communication. I have a paid service at SpamCop. I have active filtration in my MacOS X Mail program. Putting aside the fact that I am outraged that I am forced to pay in order to have email be useable to me, I am relatively happy that scum-sucking spammer f#@%heads rarely get through my defenses. On those occasions where spam does get through, it's kind of a curiosity to me. Sometimes I open them even when they are obviously spam because, well, that's curiosity for you...

Subject: Hey Sugar
Date: December 5, 2004 3:27:28 PM PST
To: dave@????.com

Hey lover man, My name is Morgan. I found your email on the dating site..

My husband is a smuck! , He didn't touch me in months Check out my profile on this site: http://www.????.com/

FOR THE LOVE OF GRAVY! You somehow managed to get a spam through to somebody, and THIS is what you've got to say?!? I don't know what irritates me more, the fact that I get the spam in the first place, or that spammers are illiterate dumbasses who can't be bothered to use spell check when they send out something that they know is going to irritate the shit out of somebody (it's SCHMUCK you BITCH!!). Even if you're not a native English speaker, the very least you can do is have somebody who actually knows the language take a peek.

And here's the rub... since this spam is obviously advertising porn of some kind, for lack of an actual image to let you know what "Morgan" looks like, you are left with only "her words" to paint a mental picture. And right now, I'm envisioning that "Morgan" is some kind of diseased crack-whore so appalling that her own husband doesn't want anything to do with her. And I am supposed to click on this link why?

Do spammers write this shit with the assumption that nobody is actually going to read it? And, if they do, why do they bother to send it? Just when you think spammers couldn't be any more stupid than they are...

Categories: DaveLife 2004Click To It: Permalink


  1. Tonya says:

    Hey man, I only disguised my name so we could “make pretend” *wink wink*

    You didn’t have to broadcast it!

  2. Dave2 says:


    Hah Ha Hah.


    Given the level of writing I’ve seen come out of Adventure Journalist, I dare say it is impossible for you to even attempt to disguise yourself as an illiterate crack-whore unfamiliar with spell-check THIS masterfully… even in pretend. Oh no, I’d expect a much more enticing bit of pre-porn titillation from you. Hey… that’s something I’d definitely click on! I smell a career opportunity! 🙂

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