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Who Asked You, Moron?

Posted on Thursday, October 2nd, 2003

Dave!Why is it that so many people feel the need to stick their nose in other people's business? While waiting in Detroit for my flight back from Stockholm the other day, I purchased a few magazines to have something to + ahem + read... namely, Maxim and Maxim Stuff. I sat down and just started reading an interview with the babealicious lawyer from JAG, Catherine Bell, when some hippie woman across from me has to interrupt:

Uptight Moron: That's not a magazine, it's pornography!

Me: Nobody asked you.

Uptight Moron: I think you should take your smut someplace where children aren't present.

Me: NEWSFLASH: ABSOLUTELY NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK... so shut up and stop bothering me.

She then got up and left in disgust, while some people around me started laughing. I thought for sure she'd end up in the seat next to me on my flight, but sometimes you just get lucky and I never saw her again.

Now look, I am not one to pass my morals (or lack thereof) on other people, and all I ask in return is that you give me the same courtesy. If you feel women in bikinis are pornography, then go protest at a beach somewhere... that's freedom of expression and I'm fine with it. But don't go shoving your "thinking" in my face because, unless you are somebody I know or respect, I just don't give a shit.

Maxim Magazine Stuff Magazine

Images above were stolen from the Maxim Magazine and Stuff Magazine web sites. Both magazines are packed with high entertainment value, so I recommend picking up several copies.

Categories: DaveLife 2003, Travel 2003Click To It: Permalink


  1. Kevin says:

    Just want to say thanks for making that lady shut up and hopefuly think next time before she gets her bitch ass in someones face

    P.S. Which do u think is better Stuff or Maxim?

  2. Dave2 says:

    Depends on who is on the cover. 🙂

  3. Adz says:

    Be carefull little children may be on this site, I think it is very iresponsible of you!

    (can you tell me where to buy that?)

  4. Dave2 says:

    Every single pages on this site is PICS rated for mature content, and is regularly blocked by schools and parents who install filtering software. If kids end up here, it’s because their parents don’t care to supervise them, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I am not an internet babysitter.

  5. Adz says:

    did you not get the slightly remotely not very funny joke there?

  6. Dave2 says:

    Apparently not?

  7. Tal says:

    You should’ve then pulled out a copy of Hustler or something. I wonder if Shape, Cosmo and Fitness having models in skimpy bathing suits on their covers is okay…?

  8. Tanvir says:

    I wont look.i wont look…i wont look….I MUUUUUUUUST LOOOOOK!!!!! wait, what are we talking about again???

  9. My definition of pornography is anything that is meant to excite someone – whack off material. Oiled women in bikinis with slightly parted lips and mussed hair definitely turn me on. And obviously they turned that woman on too, and she got upset about that. She probably left to go masturbate in the bathroom.

    Wait a minute – you weren’t sitting there whacking off, were you? Cuz I could see how that might be inappropriate.

  10. Sue says:


    I bought my husband Maxim a few years ago as a gift, the subscription. I read it too sometimes. It’s not any worse than Cosmopolitan. It’s actually better.

  11. Twiggs says:

    I think that unless there is actually any kinky pictures (or downright disturbing, like child porn :-[ ) you should read anything your little heart desires! And if she is something like an ultra-premenstrual feminist tightwad, that still shouldn’t affect what you choose to do and by no means she should voice her opinions in such a skanky way. Kudos to you, bud.

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