It's a busy Bullet Sunday as I prepare once again to head over the mountains...
• Sometimes you act like a flake... Modern technology is a wonderful thing. Except I am starting to seriously question our application of it to the world we live in. What good is being able to put a man on the moon if my breakfast cereal still goes all soggy in milk? I stepped away from my bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats for like TWO MINUTES so I could see how the meth I was cooking up in the bathroom was doing, and when I got back all I had was a bowl of soggy mush. Isn't there some kind of anti-milk teflon coating that can be put on cereal or something? Soggy flakes suck ass.
• Nope, still pissed off... Usually after writing a ballistic rant in my blog, I feel kind of bad about it the next day. But not this time. Turns out I still think Quiznos can take their crappy "Italian Caprese" and shove it up their stupid asses. BRING BACK THE VEGGIE SANDWICH!!
• Scare the shit INTO me... Speaking of fast food, why is it that the fast food industry always seems to choose freaky-ass mascots to represent their companies? What are they trying to do... scare you into eating their shit?
• I see your Schwartz is as big as mine... Believe it or not, this month is the 20th anniversary of one of my favorite parody films ever... SPACEBALLS! For the longest time I've been hoping for a sequel... but I've just learned something even more special: Mel Brooks is making a Spaceballs animated series!! From what I can find out, the cartoon is due to air on G4 Network this Fall. I have no idea if Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, and Daphne Zuniga will be lending their voices to the show (and, unfortunately, John Candy is no longer with us to participate), but can't wait to see it.
• Understanding avoidable avoidance... Why is it when people hear something third-party that upsets them, they don't bother to verify it with the person who supposedly said it in the first place? I just got a call from somebody who hasn't spoken to a mutual acquaintance for two years because they were told something totally outrageous that was supposedly said about them. But here's the problem. I was actually there when the event took place, and know for an absolute fact that it was never said. It was a gross exaggeration of something totally unrelated. That's two years of hard feelings, uncomfortable silence, and deceptive avoidance... all of which could have been eliminated if they would have just verified the information. Is there anything sadder? I can't help but wonder how many times people have written me off over something I've never said.
And, on that note, it's time to pack my suitcase...
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I never really paid attention to the fact that all fast food mascots are ugly until I saw your post on it. Paris Hilton’s ad for Carl’s Jr. (???) was so hot I would have actually gone there to eat but they pulled it because it was too salacious.
Cooking up meth in the bathroom. heh heh.
Love Space Balls. Every since the first time I saw it in the theater, it’s been one of my favorite parody films of all time. Classic and so many quotable lines – “you shot my hair!” “Comb the desert!” “No sir, I didn’t see you playing with your dolls.” – it’s one of those movies you have to watch every so often.
I love Spaceballs. I’m looking forward to the animated series.
That’s one of the reasons I became so direct with people….I lost two friends over something that either I or they supposedly said to someone else and it really is sad.
It’s like Ronald McDonald is eyeballing me, btw…make him stop, Dave!!!
I had a couple of situations like that a few years ago at my old job. God, there’s nothing like having your name attached to a rumor that hurts people.
I am an avid despiser of soggy cereal and actually quit eating it for years because I just fucking gave up. But then, there came the Kellogg’s “Crunch” series, and I thought, what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. I can get to the very bottom of a moderately sized bowl of any of these without any significant wilt whatsoever! If you like any of these flavors, you might test drive one and see what you think.
Friend of mine bought a BK mask from their website for $9 and then decided to try selling it on eBay when he saw somewhere people wanted them (BK made only 10,000 of them during the first run and were out of them).
He pulled in over $100 for that mask! 😀
I keep waiting for a poison arrow to come shooting out of his mouth after hypnotizing with that spooky not-quite-human quasi-smile…
Pffffffffft. Thud.
Suzy… Cooking meth is a dirty job, I don’t want to mess up my kitchen because that’s where I eat my soggy cereal!
ChillyWilly… SpaceBalls was a classic alright. “Have you found anything?” — “We ain’t found shit!!”
Avitable… Had you heard of it before this? I am shocked that it escaped my radar all this time… it’s been in the works since 2005!
Hilly… I’m afraid that Ronald McDonald is unstoppable. The only way to stop him is to kill him, but I think he keeps coming back like The Terminator. Clowns are scary.
Ajooja… And so unnecessary! I suppose I can just hope that if anybody ever hears anything odd that I supposedly said or did, that they would at least verify it with me before freaking out or taking drastic action. Odds are it’s probably true where I am concerned, but still…
Catherine… Kellogs Crunch you say? I’m adding it to my grocery list as I type this… thanks for the tip!
Baak… I would have tragic nightmares if the mask was even in my house! Gah! 🙂
That BK mascot is going to give me nightmares. Seriously, it’s the type of thing that comes to life in a bad horror movie and knifes the hot teen couple while they’re bumping uglies.
Spaceballs as a series?! YES!
I can’t help but wonder how many times people have written me off over something I’ve never said.
I believe the word is calumny and it equates to a major sin against God and humanity.
Ergo: A false statement maliciously made to injure another’s reputation.
Mooselet… With a twist of his magic ring, it’s murder!! Mwah ha ha haaaaa!
Karl… Indeed. Needless to say, my panties are all in a bunch over the news!
Bogup… Except in this case, I honestly don’t think that it was intentional. Just a miscommunication and poor interpretation of events that transpired… all taken very badly. 🙁
Yeah, AICN has been talking about it for a while.
That’s why I stick with Captain Crunch, it barely gets soggy. Plus, there’s games on the back of the box.
I am agree with you third bullet… I am afraid… (j’ai peur) :-/
The security man where I work leaves his cereal to ‘cook’ for 10 mins before eating it, as he likes it really, really soggy! Just the thought of cereal sitting in milk for 10 mins makes me want to heave! I’m all about the crunch, which means I often have to eat my cereal really fast!
..perhaps if you had more protein in your diet you wouldn’t be so fucking cranky. I’m just sayin…
I love love love SPACEBALLS. Finding it on DVD has been an absolute bitch.
You get phone calls?
Avitable… Ah… I stopped reading AICN years ago. 🙁
Amanda… Loves me the Captain. Peanut Butter is my favorite.
Laurence… I think everybody can agree that Ronald McDonald is totally scary!
Serap… Oh blech! The only thing worse than soggy cereal to me would be WARM soggy cereal! 🙂
Carla… Tofu and beans have some of the best proteins you can eat… much better for you than any of the protein you get from meat.
MissBritt… They’ll probably re-issue for the anniversary and the cartoon release. At least I hope so, because I don’t have a copy either. 🙁
Dan… Unfortunately…
Your soggy cereal problems are over.
You’d think by now the market would have demanded a fast-food restaurant that was 100% vegetarian. Is there such a thing? (searches mind). Like a McVeggies, or a Veggie King, Veggie Bell, WhataVeggie. I mean, don’t some vegetarians get all freaked out when their veggies even come in close contact with meat? How many careful fast food workers are there, anyway?
Combing the desert…
Quizno’s hates vegetarians?? A little harsh, and completely incorrect. At least in Minneapolis, they still have a veggie sandwich. Maybe you meant Subway? They got rid of their VeggieMax sub years ago. Even if Q did get rid of it, do as other rational vegetarians (oxymoron?) do and just order a chicken sandwich minus the chicken. I’ve found that most restaurants will adjust the price accordingly. As vegetarians, we should try to not be so reflexive in our attacks on mainstrem American eating choices. It looks stupid. It sounds stupid. It pigeon holes all vegetarians as being irrational.
I don’t want a chicken sandwich minus the chicken. I want a veggie sandwich that is priced fairly when compared to other sandwiches on the menu. Despite what you say, my experience from 20 years of ordering meat items and asking for no meat only RARELY results in a price reduction (including Arby’s, Quiznos, and many others).
What I think is stupid and irrational is when people just quietly fade away when they’ve been screwed. I was a loyal Quizno’s customer for years, and now they’ve taken my one menu option away and replaced it with a sandwich that has far less for the same money. And it’s not because they don’t have the ingredients anymore… it’s because they apparently hate vegetarians. So I’m not eating there anymore. And I’m letting everybody know why because this is my blog.
As a vegetarian, I wish more vegetarians would make their voices be heard so that our menu choices don’t continue to diminish. If we don’t say anything, we don’t exist.
Come on … be a man.. eat meat!!!1
blogs.. waste of bandwidth…