This morning started with my slipping in the parking lot and busting my ass, which was pretty much indicative of how the rest of my day would go.
Because it's not every day you get stabbed in the face.
I've got some small bumps on my face, which are probably a residual effect of the massive doses of Accutane I was on when I was a kid. They are barely noticeable and don't bother me, so I've just let them be. But a few of them get torn off from time to time when I put on a T-shirt or my motorcycle helmet or whatever, so I finally decided to ask a dermatologist about it...
DOCTOR: Oh, they're not dangerous or anything... I can take care of them in just a few minutes.
DAVE: Uhhh... okay.
DOCTOR: First I'll just stab you in the face a couple times with this giant needle...
DAVE: GAAAH!
DOCTOR: Now I'll fry your face with electricity to burn them off...
DAVE: GAAAH!
DOCTOR: You're going to smell burning flesh and see some smoke now...
DAVE: GAAAH!
DOCTOR: Done! Don't be alarmed when you see the open wounds on your face...
DAVE: GAAAH!
DOCTOR: Or the huge white blotches...
DAVE: GAAAH!
DOCTOR: The blotches will fade in an hour, and everything will be healed up in a couple days. You'll never know they were there.
DAVE: GAAAH! Errr... I mean... really?
And that was that.
I'm feeling pretty good now, considering I lived through one of my worst nightmares during my lunch hour.
Tomorrow at lunch I'm thinking of climbing in a tub filled with live spiders.
But right now I've got two suitcases of laundry to wash, which is almost as scary.
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I think if anyone, doctor or not, said the words needle, stab, or face in any combination, I would be out of there before they finished the sentence! Needles, spider, and volcanoes are scaaaaaaaaaaary! Congratulations on surviving that ordeal; I’d probably faint!
Those are not exact quotes… it’s just how I have come to remember the terrifying incident. My memory becomes fuzzy any time I think back to incidents where needles are involved.
Now you’ve reminded me of my trip to the dermatologist, when I inquired about a suspicious mole on the side of my nose. So your illustration today represents my experience quite accurately. The nurse gave me a kleenex for each fist and told me not to move as she ever so gently, haha, administered the local. Makes my eyes water just thinking about this, thanks alot! : )
Boy, that looks fun. At least you survived!
damn. and I thought my day sucked. I was stuck in the clean room for about 11 hours today…standing the entire time. looks like it was a crappy day all around.
Hey! I said something to that effect the other day….
Only mine was a spider petting zoo on a perilous cliffside drop.
Ouchie! You got it from both ends today.
😉
Uh, welcome home…? Eek! (and sorry about your ass)
I was catching up with an old friend of mine recently, and he said, “Oh, I had my face burned off.” I was like…wha??? He had a bunch of painful acne scars under the surface of his skin, and they basically burned his skin off with a laser. He had to wear a ski mask in the middle of summer because his new skin was so delicate. Gaaaaah indeed!
GAAAH! is such a great comedic phrase! And describing something the way you remember is always more entertaining and enjoyable than using exact quotes!
That Kermit the Frog juice they’re squirtin’ in there?
Glad to see you’re going to make it to TequilaCon. With only 33% male attendance so far I can’t imagine we’d get much of a chance to talk but it’d be interesting to meet “The Dave”.
heh
the upswing is those bumps are gone and you are ultra-brave for having endured. yay you!
happy laundry. 🙂
So I guess I will refrain from whining about my tendonitis today, just because um ow, much? Shawn would have passed out right there; he is totally afraid of needles!
This is why I do laundry while I’m on the road: so I don’t come home to the laundry room.
Glad you’re home and (relatively) safe.
I would choose face stabbing and face frying over getting into a Tub-O-Spiders anyday. Hope your umm…. face improves.
Oh my God–you poor thing!! I can’t imagine a needle that close to my face. I’d probably hear the music from Jaws in my head as it closed in!!!
I’m happy that you’re in your home, now… 🙂
I love your drawing and especially the perspective… (a blur Lil’Dave and a clear needle which gives depth to the drawing) 🙂
But if the “juice” was green, I probably ask the contents. Generally, I am not afraid of the needles, but I am afraid of what they can contain…
Um… gross.
Michelle–
There was no way to comment or contact you on your blog, but I have to tell you that you are totally my new addiction!! Hoping to get to meet you in March as well…still sitting on the fence as I try to find a good ticket price, but leaning toward wanting to meet all these cool peeps!
Strangely, I’m reading this post via iPhone while sitting in the dermatologist’s office waiting for the numbing cream to kick in. A few moments from now I’ll be feeling your pain… Ugh!