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Posted on Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Dave!When I was a kid I remember reading the story of Sleeping Beauty. Not the Disney-fied movie version, but the messed-up Brothers Grimm original (did those guys ever write a children's story that wasn't totally messed up?). In that version, the princess is cursed to fall asleep for 100 years. Not wanting the princess to wake up and find out that everybody she knows is dead, a good fairy puts the entire castle asleep for 100 years too, then seals off the castle so nobody can disturb its slumbering occupants. Eventually a prince arrives just as the 100 years is ending and the princess wakes up when he kisses her.

Two things bothered me about the story.

First of all, why didn't the princess completely freak out when she woke up to have some strange guy kissing her?

And second, how sad was it that some poor servant boy in the castle has to sleep for 100 years just because some princess got cursed? What a bummer for that guy, especially if he has family living outside the castle. Now HE'S the one who gets to wake up and find everybody he knows is dead.

Like most Grimm Fairytales, Sleeping Beauty was totally depressing.

Then Disney came along.

In their version, the princess is cursed to sleep not for a hundred years, but until some handsome prince arrives and makes out with her, delivering "true love's kiss." They also added a totally bitchin' fight at the end where the prince battles it out with Queen Bitch of the Universe, Maleficent. After emerging victorious (spoilers!) the prince then kisses the princess, she wakes up, and everybody lives happily ever after.

All things considered, Disney obviously has the "feel-good" version of Sleeping Beauty.

Or do they?

All this weekend I found myself wishing I could just crawl under the covers and fall asleep until the year is over. But why stop there? Wouldn't it be great to fall asleep for an entire century when all your problems and worries were 100 years behind you?

More and more, I'm thinking the answer is "yes."

Now all I gotta do is piss off an evil witch and find somebody to guest-blog for me over the next 100 years.

Categories: DaveLife 2011Click To It: Permalink


  1. claire says:

    Give it a 1000 years and you’ve got Futurama.

    Or 30 and you’ve got this xkcd version:

    As far as Grimm’s tales go, their version of Sleeping Beauty is pretty tame compared to some of their others as I recall.

  2. the muskrat says:

    If you find such a witch and such a curse, I’ll totally guest write for you.

    My 5yo loves this story. I think it’s stupid and change the ending to include “and then she went to law school and practiced with her dad forever.”

  3. fluffycat says:

    Huh never thought about the link between cryogenic freezing and Sleeping Beauty… though there is an obvious Walt Disney link somewhere in there.

  4. bo says:

    But you’re an insomniac. You’d be cursed to sleep 100 years and wake up after 4.

  5. I think both the Brothers Grimm and Disney both think date rape is okay.

  6. Sybil Law says:

    Oooh! Oooh! I’d guest post. 🙂

  7. Göran says:

    Smart! I could use a 100 years of sleep to 😉

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