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Pickup

Posted on Friday, April 10th, 2009

Dave!The small Eastern Washington town I live in is quite the back-country paradise.

Not that this is a bad thing, it's just that it does present its challenges from time to time. Today it was while driving through downtown.

An awful lot of people around these parts drive pickups. And not just any old pickups... huge-ass pickups with king cabs and extended beds on them. Massive metal monstrosities that are way longer than any parking space will ever be. And yet they still shove their giant rides into those parking places because there's nowhere else to park. Problem is... their asses are sticking out into the street and you have to swerve to avoid running into them.

But what happens when two cars on opposite sides of the road are trying to swerve at the same time? Something like this...

Pickups sticking out into the street.

On my way home I very nearly got into an accident with another poor bastard trying to avoid a king cab extended bed truck on his side. Fortunately we both managed to slam on the brakes in time, or else my day would have taken a very different turn (heh heh heh).

At first I was rattled... but then I noticed there was a gun rack in the back window of the pickup I was swerving to miss, and found that funny for some reason. I guess nearly running into somebody makes everything funny, assuming you don't actually hit them.

Life is a series of near-misses, and I'm sure there's a Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke in here somewhere.

If only I had the necessary inbreeding to see it.

UPDATE: Carol says the joke I was probably thinking of was the title of Foxworthy's book "You Might Be a Redneck If... Your Bicycle Has a Gun Rack. She could be right, though Foxworthy has had a lot of redneck jokes about gun racks, pickups, and inbreeding over the years, so I can't be sure. Or maybe I'm just insane and will laugh at anything.


Categories: DaveLife 2009Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Stacey says:

    The thing I hate about Main Streets like that is that not only do people park vehicles in those spaces that don’t fit, everyone will also back out without looking.

  2. Crail00 says:

    If you are hailing a cab; make sure it is not a king cab. Hmm, on second thoughts, it might be better, more protection. LOL

  3. Sybil Law says:

    I’m glad you avoided that guy, too! I hate accidents. My neighbor took off my side mirror being a complete ass one morning. And those big, dually trucks make me nuts in parking lots or on the street, too. I find it hard to believe that most people even need them.

  4. Whitenoise says:

    As the driver of a hemi-powered Ram 4×4 “Big Horn” edition, I resemble that remark. (No gun rack, though.)

    You’re right. Parking is a bitch. Somewhere in the ’80s or early ’90s parking lot designers down-sized. It’s a major PITA. And, no, we can’t buy smaller vehicles. Our trucks work, we bought big for a reason.

  5. whall says:

    Have you played that parking flash game? It times you as you try to get the car into the right spot in the right way.

    http://www.mousebreaker.com/games/parking/playgame

  6. ~beth says:

    Um, “back country paradise” does not compute!!

  7. This happens a lot in parking lots in Orange County, yet the people here have far less of an excuse to be driving those monstrosities. Sigh.

  8. lizriz says:

    Glad you didn’t go crunch.

  9. claire says:

    Glad you didn’t get hit.

    At least it looks like you don’t have reverse diagonal parking (where you back in to the space). Don’t know why they ever approved it here as it wasn’t long before they switched it back.

  10. Kailey says:

    We have a similar problem here, only it’s tourists in huge SUV that park on residential streets that are narrow enough to be one-way roads but are two-way roads (where whoever can pull over has to yield to the other driver if two opposing cars meet) that get me in trouble.

  11. Do those people actually USE the trucks as they are intended…. or is it just another way to compensate for a short dick?

  12. Sarah says:

    My Dad has a big huge dodge truck. Whenever I drive it I get this massive power trip and end up playing chicken with someone. I don’t drive it much because I’m pretty my first murder will be running someone down in that truck, or something.

    Not that this comment has anything to do with your post, but you did mention trucks.

  13. suze says:

    I am amazed by the number of extended cab trucks, suvs and vans that seem to reside in my suburb. While I’m sure some of them need these giant vehicles and use them effectively, I’m pretty sure most of them are, as blondefabulous put it, making up for something else…

  14. martymankins says:

    I wonder how many of these big ass trucks can be made into much smaller cars once they are recycled?

    We have a ton here in Utah and it makes no sense, especially when the owner drives it to the 7-Eleven for a Big Gulp.

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