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Hater

Posted on Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Dave!People are always astounded to learn that I get a steady stream of hate-mail for my blog. I could pretend that I'm not astounded as well, but it's a mystery to me too. Because when you compare Blogography to other blogs out there, I'm downright tame. I rarely post anything nasty, political, or controversial... and it's got monkeys and cartoons in it!

For the most part, I don't much care about the haters who feel the need to write to me. They're usually just random whack-jobs who come here from a Google search. They read a single entry (or just a part of an entry), ignore the other 1,961 entries, and come to the conclusions they hate me enough to let me know about it. The breakdown works out to be something like this...

Hate Mail Chart

With statistics like that, it should come as no surprise that the vast majority of my hate-mail gets deleted immediately. Most of the time I don't even bother to read them before sending off my standard reply ("Thank you so much for your lovely letter regarding Blogography, and I look forward to making you even more angry in the future!") then hitting the delete key.

It's not that I mind having people hate me.

I'm just offended that they're so fucking stupid about it.

I mean, when the subject of an email you receive is "u're blog sucks" (I shit you not, that's one I got just yesterday)... exactly how am I supposed to react to that? I naturally conclude the author is a complete dumbass. Not only are they so stupid that they're blissfully unaware that they've abbreviated "YOU ARE BLOG SUCKS," but the abbreviation of "u're" is the exact same length as their intended "your" (if they were smart enough to know how in the hell to write in the first place). And if the subject is that asinine, why in the hell would I read the rest of it?

If somebody is going to hate on me, I wish they would at least be literate and entertaining about it.


Categories: Blogging 2008Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Robin says:

    Surely those of us who love your blog make up for the morons that send hate mail!

  2. Lisa says:

    Just keep entertaining us, Dave, and there won’t be any reason to hate! ;)

  3. sfchick74 says:

    Why is it that crazy people always seem to have so much time on their hands?

  4. nicole says:

    Herein lies the fault in your logic – you see, the literate/smart people don’t think your blog sucks.

  5. bogup says:

    Why not have Bad Monkey respond to those hate emails? That should take care of them.

  6. Yeah…god how dumb. They could at least write it as:

    OMFG YR BLAWG SUX0RS!!!!!11111 Y DUN U POWST MI COMANTS ON YR BLAWG????????////?? B-C U SUX TEHTS WI.

    Yeah or something like that. I mean, if you’re going to all the trouble of sending a hate mail, at least make it good.

    RME

  7. Laurence says:

    YOUR blog is so fabulous. I love read you.

    I really don’t understand (or I do not want to understand) that attitude.

    But I don’t say enough : U’RE blog is fantastic. Oups… YOUR ! ;)

  8. Whitenoise says:

    Ahh… the price of fame…

  9. Hey, I’m with you. I hate your blog too (not really), but at least I can write as if I diagrammed sentences when I was a child.

    Of course, I may have misspelled.

    :-)

  10. Kyra says:

    Wait… does that mean you’ve been deleting all my emails?

  11. Lewis says:

    Who could hate you? I can’t imagine. The other one that gets me, and is in widespread use, is: “It’s” (meaning “It is”)…when the object is PLURAL and should be “They are.” Happens all of the time. Plus, when using the word “sucks” (as in “Ur blog sucks”), they make it sound like sucking is bad. And I hate that.

  12. Hilly says:

    I think that some people are always prone to hate those that are beloved by the masses. It’s our curse ;).

    Totally kidding, of course.

  13. martin says:

    It is a very fine line between love and hate. I think you blog is splendid in every way. That concludes the voting of the London jury.

  14. Iron Fist says:

    I don’t know what their problem is. I think u’re blog is great.

  15. annie says:

    I hate everything, but I couldn’t possibly hate you. U’re (did I use that correctly?) talented, entertaining, and interesting. I think this is purely a case of, “The haters are just jealous of you.”

  16. ajooja says:

    Add me to the astounded, but I’m not surprised by the graphic. Most haters are morons.

  17. Jeff says:

    I think you should save one or two of the better ones and post them here. You know, just for our entertainment.

  18. Miss Britt says:

    That’s because people who are intelligent enough to spell “your” love you.

    What does it say about me that most of my “fan” mail comes from people who say “u’re blog is usome!”?

  19. Baak says:

    I think these people somehow believe they are “instantly omnipotent” in analyzing everything, because they make meaningless split-second decisions all-day, every day, just to keep up with the world.

    It’s funny how the human ego can trick anyone into believing they are always right. :)

    In reality, they’re just wanabees with too much free time on their hands. I bet none of them has ever written anything original in their lives.

  20. MRKisThatKid says:

    Maybe that kid pines after a long lost friend who by some cruel parents was christened “Blog Sucks”. He’s come across your photo and you look kinda like his lost friend, he’s thinking “you must be him! You must!” and immediately emails you shivering with excitement.

    And then you go and dig into him like a total meanie!

  21. Avitable says:

    I should teach a hate mail writing class.

  22. Catherine says:

    I am kind of astounded. I don’t even see how stupid people could hate your blog. I don’t really see how anyone could hate your blog. I really don’t understand what’s not to like really… and if they did hate it, why not just change the channel like everybody else?

  23. Naomi says:

    Do you ever get that you smell funny? I think I’m going to make that my goal for ’08–I want to incite a response from someone wherein they think I actually smell bad. You should help me invent a scratch-and-sniff internet…

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