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Posted on Wednesday, October 24th, 2007

Dave!Why am I such a magnet for wrong numbers? I get them all the time on both my mobile and home phones. This morning I'm interrupted eating breakfast at 6:20am by a ringing phone. I rush into the living room so I can answer it, and am immediately greeted with a stream of unintelligible Spanish the minute I say hello. "YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER," I yell, but that only gets me more high-volume rapid-fire Spanish I can't understand. Totally irate now, I scream "Wrong number! Número equivocado! Número equivocado! NÚMERO EQUIVOCADOOOOOOO!!!" and slam down the phone.

I fully believe that if you get a wrong number from somebody, you should have the option of punching a code into your phone and it will charge the stupid fucker $25 for the interruption. Sometimes, if the person is nice and apologetic, it doesn't bother me too much. But most of the time wrong numbers just piss me off because the callers are idiots and I wants to get paid.

Being able to shoot a gun through the phone at wrong-number-dialing ass-clowns would be okay too...





And now I have to pack my suitcase... well, two suitcases, actually... for my trip tomorrow.

Hopefully packing will tire me out and I'll be exhausted enough to finally get some sleep.

At which point I'm sure I'll be woken up by some moron who can't dial a phone number correctly.

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. @nnette says:

    OMG… am I actually the FIRST to comment? Woah…

    Dan, I deserve a prize DAMNIT!


    Ooops…. think I have the wrong blog. Sorry ’bout that dude ;0

  2. Hilly says:

    Hey so like, have a safe flight and all that jazz. Try not to bring your jackass phone caller gun on the plane though :).

  3. iddly says:

    You could always turn the iPhone off and take the phone off the hook.

    Bad iddly! [smack]
    Stop being sensible!!!

  4. Suzy says:

    My best friend is Caller ID. If I don’t know the number, I will not pick up. EVER.

  5. Belinda says:

    Good trip, and for the love of pete, get some rest. I actually worry about your lack of sleep.

  6. Baak says:

    Best DaveToon evah.

  7. kapgar says:

    Katie got a wrong number text message the other day. It said “Cabron, te llame” (Asshole, I called you). I texted back “Asshole, wrong number.” He texted back “WTF? Um, no… this is Eloiza, isn’t it?” I texted back “looks like you got wrong numbered dude.”

    No new messages since. 😉

  8. Funny you should mention wrong numbers since I had someone do that to me this morning. Apparently he was looking for the water authority, no doubt trying to report someone for watering when they shouldn’t.

    Now why he couldn’t have waited to do so until 9 am, when I would be gone, rather than 7:30 am when I was asleep, I don’t know. “Sorry, this was the number printed on my bill” Well, unless the water department has taken up residence in my attic without my knowing it, I assure you that it ISN’T the number on your bill.


  9. Alissa says:

    I used to get this guy who called and left me messages all of the time and he got really mean because I never called him back (he never left his number) and at one point I believe he said “you better pick up the motherf***ing phone B***h!” That was freaky!

  10. Avitable says:

    Is that what an ass clown looks like?

  11. sizzle says:

    i love how you said “Número equivocado!” that’s going to tickle me all day.

    safe travels- looking forward to sunday!

  12. delmer says:

    I’ll have to remember “número equivocado.” The last wrong number I got was from a Spanish-speaking person. They finally sorted out that they’d called a wrong number and said something that sounded apologetic.

    When they called back, 10 seconds later, I answered with a friendly “Hola.” They realized it was the same guy, sounded apologetic, and disconnected.

  13. Faye says:

    Avitable, thanks for your question. Now we know.

  14. bogup says:

    Wrong numbers are bad news and frustrating. I had a series of them a year ago and the same babeling (sic). On about the fourth one I turned up the sound on a Spanish speaking TV show that just happened have some yelling/violence going on. Held the phone up to the speaker and guess what? The calls stopped.

  15. kilax says:

    I hate it when you tell them “wrong number” and they call back and act pissed off at you. WTF moron?

  16. Chag says:

    Can we get one of those special phone codes for telemarketers too?

  17. sue says:

    I’ve suddenly been getting wrong number phone calls on my cell… from all over the country. I don’t understand. Why??? Also, then I get charged for the incoming call. This is NOT a good thing.

    At home, when we moved three years ago we got a new land line number and started getting calls for “Emily”… unfortunately, we had an Emily living with us, but it isn’t the right one. Grrrr. We still get calls for her.

  18. claire says:

    I’ve gotten lots of wrong numbers/wrong texts to my cell. Spanish speakers, unintelligible background noise, 13 yr olds, texts that would border on harassment if they didn’t strike me as ridiculous. Perhaps the worst was the automated school system that kept leaving messages until I tracked down an office number with a human. Even then, I had to assure her that I didn’t have kids and therefore didn’t need to know about parent/teacher conferences or school closings. Grr.

    There should be monetary reparations, they are using up my minutes after all.

    “Número equivocado!” I’ll have to remember that.

  19. Wayne says:

    And don’t you love it when the person who calls you is the one who is not only incredulous, but assumes YOU’RE the one who made the mistake?

    Me: myello?
    Them: Mark?
    Me: No, this is Wayne. There’s no Mark here
    Them: There isn’t? Where’d he go?
    Me: I have no idea. There’s never been a Mark here
    Them: Why are you answering his phone?!?!?!
    Me: You have the wrong number.
    Them: What number is this?
    Me: The wrong one.
    Them: Is this (blahblahblah)
    Me: IT’S THE WRONG NUMBER. Try again but not here.

  20. borysSNORC says:

    The annoying wrong number dumb asses dont bother me half so much as the telemarketing dumb asses. Grrr… there ought be a special place in hell for telemarketers.

  21. Baak says:

    I agree with Suzy – Caller ID or nada.

    You know… it is kind of weird you having an iPhone and a lan-line phone you have to “dial”…

    Maybe that’s why these @$$-clowns keep calling?

  22. Suzanne says:

    When I get calls for Denise or Lisa or some other random person who doesn’t live here. I usually say, “There’s no Denise here. What number are you trying to reach?” Some people have misdialed and some callers they have the wrong number.

    Sometimes the dimwit callers get really irate. Like I’ve done something with Denise and am preventing her from coming to the phone.

    One day, a little old lady who sounded about 147 year old was trying to call her doctor and misdialed. Three times in a row.

    She was really embarrassed and apologetic, so it was hard to be too frustrated with her.

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