I've never had any real desire to go on a cruise before... being trapped on a big metal boat with a couple thousand morons just never seemed like my idea of a good time. But hey, it's something new to do, so here I am cruising the Caribbean. As I have already found out, there are some things about cruising that you don't learn on the Love Boat. But life is never like television is it?

The ship I am on... the Dawn Princess is pretty sweet. Since I had no plans to sit around in my cabin all day, I booked the cheapest stateroom I could find. As long as it had a bed, I'm happy. Well, not only does it have beds, but there is also a bathroom with shower, a refrigerator, a good-sized closet, a desk, an in-room safe, and a television. Not bad at all. I've certainly stayed in much worse on dry-land. On top of all that, there's a pool on board!

Nice ship, nice accomodations, nice food, exceedingly nice crew. But all is not perfect in paradise...

1) Embarkation was a disaster. Not at all organized and incredibly stressful to all involved. Being screamed at is not the best way to start a vacation. One guy tells you to go. So you go. Then get yelled at by another guy for going. They should really do something about this, because pissing off customers before they step foot on the ship is pretty stupid.

2) Thanks to the hurricanes that ravaged the Caribbean a few weeks ago, a few ports of call have been cancelled. This sucks ass because I don't really give a crap about hanging around the ship, it's the land excursions that interest me. One of the stops, Grand Cayman, I was really looking forward to but it was trashed in the storms, so what can you do?

3) When I called ahead, I was told that wireless internet was available for laptops. Unfortunately, what they fail to mention is that it only works with their laptops. This means there's no internet at all unless you rent a $30 an hour laptop or use a $30 an hour PC in the business center... and, even then, the connection is glacialy slow and incredibly flakey. This is a huge problem for somebody like me who needs reliable internet access to function! Don't count on a FridayQ this week. :-(

Tonight there was a welcome show which was definately skewed to the older demographic. Who else could be entertained by butchered Ricky Martin tunes? WE CRUISE! WE CRUISE! (sung to the tune of She Bangs! She Bangs!) was made bearable only by the addition of the Dawn Princess Dancers (finally... babes on board!). It's good, cheesy, American fun (which happens to be registered in Great Britain to avoid those pesky American ship regulations).

There's an unfathomable nine days left in my vacation. NINE DAYS! I hope the weather holds out, because today was about as perfect as it gets. For anybody wanting to cruise along, you can take a look at the Dawn Princess Bridge Cam.