I have been looking forward to the sequel to The Old Guard for what seems like forever (well, okay, it's been four years, but still). It's been the sole reason that I've hung on to Netflix through its price increases and the films delays. But today was the day... and the film was finally released.

And I hated it.

Hated it.

It's a convoluted mess of a movie that isn't the least bit interesting or inovative. In other words, it's the complete opposite of the first film. The characters aren't made even remotely compelling this time around. Nicky and Joe's relationship, the whole heart of the first flick, takes a backseat to Andy and Quynh's relationship, except there's nothing really to it except predictability. The sequel takes place six months after the last one, but Nile's abilities are completely off the chart and she's more of a plot device than a character. Booker, who could have had a fascinating redemption arc, was given a lazy redemption that wasn't earned so much as it was shoe-horned in with no reasoning. Chiwetel Ejiofor was given a more active way in the story, but to lesser effect. Henry Golding was added but completely wasted and wasn't made in any way essential except he knows things. All he did was take time away from the other characters, and they could have eliminated him and changed nothing. I guess Uma Thurman has an essential function, but it's sure a boring one.

But the worst part? It ends on a massive fucking cliffhanger.

This sequel barely happened, a third film is highly unlikely, and they decide to end it on a cliffhanger? What the fuck? The first movie was a complete story that happened to have a stinger at the end which could lead to more in case they got to make more. You could have never gotten a sequel and had a satisfying experience. But this time if there's no sequel to the sequel, you're left with something incomplete and half-baked.

I fucking hate it when they do this shit. Unless you are 100% certain that you will get another movie or another season or whatever... DON'T FUCKING END ON A CLIFFHANGER!! This is not rocket science. What it actually is is lazy, shitty filmmaking that broadcasts to the entire world that you are not talented enough to wrap something up and move on to something bigger and better.

And I honestly don't care. If a third movie never happens, I'll try to be happy that we got the first one and move on with my life.

Jesus. Charlize Theron could have spent her time giving us a sequel to Atomic Blonde instead of wasting her time on this nonsense.

Though now I'm scared shitless that we'd get a bad sequel to that brilliant movie too.