Yesterday it finally decided to get serious and snow here. It was a wet, heavy snow that was coming down so fast and so hard that by the time I got the last half of my car cleaned off, the first half was covered again. Driving was a nightmare, because the streets would fill up just as soon as they were plowed.
By the time I got home, it was so nasty out that I was fully prepared to spend the next eight weeks locked in my home with 60 boxes of Pop Tarts and twelve dozen cans of Coke with Lime until the snow subsided...
But when I woke up this morning, my Mac's "Weather Widget" said it was raining. All the snow that had fallen on my car last night had melted away. The roads were clearing up and by 10:00 the sun was shining. But there was still a sloppy mess left behind, with piles of snow heaped everywhere. This sometimes makes parking scarce because all that snow cleared off a parking lot has to go somewhere.
So when I was in Wenatchee picking up some crap at the store, I felt really lucky that I found a relatively close spot. At least I did until this woman (who looked like Ms. Crabtree from South Park) came rolling up and shook her first fist at me then drove off...
"Well that was odd" I said to myself "I wonder what that was all about?"
Fortunately (or unfortunately, as it turns out) I didn't have long to wait. As I was entering the store the woman (who parked across the lot) screams as me "I WAS WAITING FOR THAT SPOT?" Which, of course, was ridiculous. She wasn't even in the lot when I pulled into the spot. But, rather than screaming back to her "YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!" I just pretended I didn't hear her and went about my business.
People are dumbasses. Snow or no snow, I'm seriously considering locking myself in for eight weeks anyway.
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I like your idea of survival food.
Um. Eight weeks with just Pop Tarts and Dave? Can I come????
Okay remind me not to read stuff like this when I am straining to see my new laptop screen! I thought you said that you were thinking about licking yourself for eight weeks straight and I almost dropped said laptop!
Joefish… I added the Coke with Lime because man cannot live on Pop Tarts alone. Survival is paramount in my thoughts here, because I can’t rule the earth if I’m dead.
Chase… Of course! You are my favorite flavor flavor Pop Tart. 🙂
Hilly… I wouldn’t lick myself for eight minutes. But I would gladly lick YOU for eight weeks!
You mean they actually clear the parking lots up there? Geez, we’re lucky if they clear the snow routes. Of course, we have no clue how to drive when the weather’s clear, so snow (which quickly becomes packed ice) is *ultrafun* in Oklahoma.
OK… LA… HO… MA… Oklahoooooooma! Where the cars come fishtailing down the plain…
😀
Hey Dave, Ms. Crabtree’s even crabbier twin shook her “first” at you? What about her second and her third?
Me thinks these Pop-Tarts and Coke with Limes are somehow affecting your typing skills 😛
i hate when people shake their first at me.
it’s like child cruelty.
get it? 😉
(or am i drunk and misreading a typo in your post? if so, my bad!)
You should always bring a gun with you. The “hood” needs cleaning up 😉
East coast December has been so warm that I know we will get shellacked in January. I better go get some PopTarts. Will Wild Cherry Pepsi do?
Hilly, licking you might be the healthiest thing he’d put in his mouth during those eight weeks!
You need to come spend time with me for a while so the Mr. and Mrs. Crankypants of the world don’t bother you. We’ll wrap presents, make cookies, and drink until one of us throws up first (I’m betting it will be you.)
Bring your Pop Tarts and Lime Coke. I’m not a Coke fan, but I’ll lick the frosting off all the Pop Tarts. You’ll let me, too. By that time, you’ll be shit faced.
I perfectly understand your feelings about snow and the fact that you want to spend the next eight weeks locked in your home !!!
I perfectly understand your feelings about dumbass and their car. I have got a theory : a important proportion of people use the same lobe of the brain to drive and to think. And the dumbasses can do only one thing at the same time: either they think, or they drive. Think about it, Dave… 🙂
I’ve had that happen to me before. I politely asked them if they would like to go back out and swtich places. They got so pissed. It was awesome.
A Bad Monkey LOCK-IN! BYOPT, BYODCwL.
It was in the 50s yesterday and is supposed to hit the 60s today. The last time I remember a December this mild January was a real b*tch.
I’m sure one doesn’t necessarily follow the other, but it’s hard to shake those memories.