We've just arrived at the penultimate episode of Forgotten Domains Week, where I review domains I own but have forgotten over the years. This time we're going to work...

DAY SIX: ARTIFICIALDUCK.COM

Yesterday I told the riveting tale of my venture into the digital video business but, before there was Critical Duck Films, there was Artificial Duck Company. And before there was Artificial Duck, there was Wind-Up Duck Screen Printing. And before there was Wind-Up Duck, there was Big Duck Studio... as you might have guessed, I've got kind of a "duck" thing going on here. I honestly don't know why, but it probably has to do with the fact that I find ducks to be funny. Make of it what you will.

Anyway, if you've read my FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) you might know that I am a graphic designer by trade. But my career path to becoming a graphic designer was not without complexity. So here, for your reading pleasure, are the duck-related bits from my wild work history.

THE EARLY YEARS: I've always loved to draw and paint, but I never thought it could be an actual job. So when "Personal Computers" were introduced to my school, I knew where my future lay. By the time I was a high-school senior I had already started accepting programming work for local businesses, orchardists, farmers, and even computerized the attendance records for my own high school. Programming a computer was something I was good at, seemed to pay okay, and was in demand, so I naturally thought I had found my vocation. Big Duck Studio was born...

For better part of my senior year I was a student by day and Big Duck programmer-for-hire at night (though most of my friends called it "Big Dick Studio" - ha ha). I was learning a lot, having fun, and making a little spending money. It was all good. At least it was good until one Saturday night I suddenly realized that I was hunched over a computer debugging code while all my friends were out partying. At that moment I decided I did not want to spend the rest of my life glued to a computer monitor, and Big Duck was dead.

GETTING ARTISTIC: After graduation I had no idea what I wanted to do (though getting work so I could afford to go to college the next year was a high priority). I found a part-time job as a janitor but always in the back of my head was the desire to have my own business again (though something not involving computers). Then one day a friend asked me to design a T-Shirt for his family reunion, and everything just clicked. I would partner with a screen printer and do T-Shirt designs in my spare time! For reasons I can't recall, the name I chose for my new endeavor was Wind-Up Duck Screen Printing...

I think the name came from an old toy frog I found that would hop around if you wind him up (by turning a key that stuck out his butt). Since I found ducks to be hysterical, the wind-up frog became a wind-up duck. It was a good idea, but the guy I was working with kept raising his prices until pretty soon I couldn't make any money at it. I had thought about shopping around for another printer, but I was getting ready for college and decided I'd just quit the business altogether.

SEMI-RECENT HISTORY: After wasting a few years of my life in a drunken stupor while attending college, I still had no idea what I wanted to do for a career. Eventually I accidentally stumbled into graphic design work (which neatly combined my love of computers and art), but it was still part-time and I needed a way to make some extra money. Screen printing, which used to involve spending hours hand-cutting stencils, had become high-tech and much faster, so I thought perhaps I'd resurrect "Wind-Up Duck" and get into the biz again. Only problem was that the name sometimes confused people (they thought "wind" was like "gusting wind"), so it was time for an entirely new duck. Artificial Duck Company had a nice ring to it...

But eventually my job went from part-time to full-time, and there was never any space in my schedule to do any work for Artificial Duck. I bought the domain name with the intention of hiring partners and putting up a web site to get business, but it never happened. So, while I do some work under the "Artificial Duck" banner from time to time, the domain itself has been all but forgotten (why advertise something you never have time to do?).

Even so, I love my "Artificial Duck" logo, and it makes for a popular T-Shirt design that I can hand out to people.

This time, it's not my fault... Neil says I have to do this "Meme à Trois"...

• Three names you go by: Dave, David, Duke.
• Three screen names you have: Dave2, Daveweb, Blogography.
• Three things you like about yourself: I ride a motorcycle, I'm open-minded, I'm tolerant.
• Three things you dislike about yourself: I don't speak a foreign language fluently, I am easily distracted, I can't keep up with my email.
• Three parts of your heritage: American, Dutch, German.
• Three things that scare you: Bush, Deep Water, Heights.
• Three of you everyday essentials: Food, Water, Macintosh.
• Three things you're wearing right now: Joe Boxers, MIA/POW Bracelet, Glasses.
• Three of your favorite bands/artists: Depeche Mode, a-ha, The Corrs.
• Three of your favorite songs at present: Until She Comes by the Psychedelic Furs, Inner Smile by Texas, New York Minute by Don Henley.
• Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months: Try to renew my love of painting with watercolors, Try studying a foreign language, Try to simplify my life.
• Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given): Honesty, Passion, Fulfillment.
• Two Truths and a Lie: Kindness is its own reward, Violence is cowardly, There are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
• Three physical things about a love interest that appeal to me: Cleanliness, Cuteness, Hotness.
• Three things you just can't do: Listen to a country-western song, Watch a musical, Enjoy using Microsoft Windows.
• Three of your favorite hobbies: Travel, Hard Rock Cafe, Television.
• Three things you want to do really badly right now: Eat breakfast, Ride my motorcycle, Go back to sleep.
• Three careers you're considering: Marine Biologist, Astronaut, President of the United States.
• Three places you want to go on vacation: Greece, Australia, New Zealand.
• Three kids names (either boy or girl): Ellis, Emma, Beelzebub.
• Three things you want to do before you die: See as much of the world as possible, Ride my motorcycle every chance I get, Refrain from hating anything or anybody.
• Three people who have to take this quiz now: Let's see... who hasn't blogged in a while? How about: Jenny, Kirk, and Steven?

Ooooh! A movie meme! I wonder why nobody thought of this one before? As seen on Kazza's Blog. The Rules: Pick ten movies you enjoy. Pick a line of dialogue that you like. As people guess the films, strike out the entry. NO CHEATING!

UPDATE: Added another quote from each film here...

UPDATE: I went ahead and finished this up by answering #9 myself. It's kind of a shame nobody got this one, because that means none of you has seen the movie Creator. This thoughtful, charming, intelligent, romantic, funny film is one of my all-time favorites. The fact that it stars the brilliant Peter O'Toole is just icing on the cake. Run right out and rent it immediately.

1. "Now, that is a big trunk! It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly."
   "Someone stole Marilyn's jacket last night. And Poe is missing." - Wonder Boys (Amy got it!)
2. "Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason."
   "Look it, everybody needs to take a walk to the dark end of the street sometime. It's what we are." - Strange Days (Richard got it!)
3. "Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?"
   "That's popcorn! Get it away from me, I can't stand popcorn. I hate popcorn." - Real Genius (Aravis got it!)
4. "The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The knife, for example, is the last thing you'll learn." - Leon: The Professional (Richard got it!).
5. "Look, if you want me to talk in front of him you may be asked to kill him later. It works for me, your call." - Long Kiss Goodnight (Art got it!)
6. "You have got albinos chasing you down the street, prowlers breaking into your apartment, don't you see? They're only after one thing!" - Foul Play (Tonya got it!)
7. "He was very nice about it, but he made me feel like a third class witch doctor!" - The Day the Earth Stood Still (Dennis got it!)
8. "You know something, I don't think the sun even exists in this place."
   "Hey! Ya happen to know the way to Shell Beach?" - Dark City (Rick got it!)
9. "That's it? One course in 'The Big Picture' - twelve credits?"
   "One of these days we'll look in to our microscope and find ourselves staring right into God's eyes, and the first one who blinks is going to lose his testicles." - Creator (NOBODY got it!)
10. "Oh, just a few special effects... sort of the Universal Studios tour of evil. It normally works pretty well but, evidently you weren't going for it. That last wish of yours was a deal breaker." - Bedazzled (Ben got it!)

Hmmm... looking these over, I wonder if even I would be able to figure them out!