Grass. Weed. Reefer. Pot. Skunk. Bud. Chronic. Mary Jane. Ganja. Herb. Wacky Tobacky.

No matter what your name for it, Marijuana is now legally for sale in Colorado... and will be legally for sale here in my home-state of Washington sometime this Spring.

And while I was a huge proponent of legalizing marijuana for personal use, I will undoubtedly not be partaking myself. That would be money wasted when Jägermeister already does such a great job of ejecting me from reality when I need that...

But I make no promises.

The reason being that I am so rarely able to keep my promises.

As an example, I once promised that I would no longer write editorial rebuttals on my blog because they so rarely do anything to elevate the conversation. Probably because the only reason I write editorial rebuttals in the first place is that I'm very, very angry about said editorial. And while angry rants may be a release... may be cathartic... and may even be fun... they're also overly-emotional, profanity-laden, and sometimes even incomprehensible.

Thus my promise.

Except...

A pathetic joke of an op-ed piece in The New York Times' by David Brooks was published today. It's rife with the kind of condescending rhetoric that a sane person would avoid at any cost but, like the fool I am, I dove in anyway. And, while I honestly don't give a shit about Brooks or his laughably transparent attempt at manipulating his readers, I do give a huge shit about what the fucking douche has to say about legalization supporters like me.

But, before we get there, it's important to put it into context.

The first half of his op-ed waxes poetic about how Brooks smoked pot when he was a teenager, but eventually gave it up.

And then we get to this...

"We now have a couple states — Colorado and Washington — that have gone into the business of effectively encouraging drug use. By making weed legal, they are creating a situation in which the price will drop substantially. One RAND study suggests that prices could plummet by up to 90 percent, before taxes and such. As prices drop and legal fears go away, usage is bound to increase. This is simple economics, and it is confirmed by much research. Colorado and Washington, in other words, are producing more users."

And this...

"But, of course, these are the core questions: Laws profoundly mold culture, so what sort of community do we want our laws to nurture? What sort of individuals and behaviors do our governments want to encourage? I’d say that in healthy societies government wants to subtly tip the scale to favor temperate, prudent, self-governing citizenship. In those societies, government subtly encourages the highest pleasures, like enjoying the arts or being in nature, and discourages lesser pleasures, like being stoned."

So...

• In other words, Brooks was "self-governing" enough to decide that he wanted to illegally smoke pot when he was younger... but he doesn't think that anybody else should be legally able to make the same decision today.
• In other words, Brooks believes that marijuana should stay expensive and illegal so it's use is exclusive to wealthy people who can afford the product and the legal ramifications associated with it.
• In other words, Brooks feels that only Brooks is smart enough and responsible enough to handle cannabis because only he is smart enough and responsible enough to quit using it. You, however, are not, so shame on you for wanting it legalized.

Well fuck you David Brooks.

Will legalizing marijuana bring about more drug users? I have no clue. It's not going to change my habits. Will there be people who abuse legalized marijuana? Of course there will. And they should be punished just like alcohol abusers are now. Driving while drunk or driving while stoned, it doesn't matter... you break the law you pay the price. The precedent has already been set, so move along, there's nothing to see here.

Seriously, there's nothing to see here.

Which is why, after reading this piece, I can't quite decide whether David Brooks is pretending to be so obtuse... or if he is, in fact, mentally deficient.

A few points...

• I voted for legalization because it should be my fucking decision whether or not I get high, not yours.
• I voted for legalization because responsible use of marijuana shouldn't be treated any different from responsible use of alcohol... and I fail to see how being an alcoholic is somehow more desirable than being a stoner when people do abuse it.
• I voted for legalization because IT'S BEEN CONFIRMED BY MUCH RESEARCH that marijuana is less of a health risk than alcohol.
• I voted for legalization because... cigarettes and tobacco products. Look into THAT one, bitch.
• I voted for legalization because I'm sick of the racist bullshit surrounding marijuana use. It runs roughly an equal percentage between whites and blacks, but guess who bears the brunt of arrests when it comes to getting caught using it?
• I voted for legalization because now pot smokers are fucking TAXED just like alcohol drinkers such as myself already are. Fair is fair, blazers!
• I voted for legalization because the massively expensive (yet massively ineffective) "War on Drugs" needs an equally massive overhaul so we're not dumping tons of effort and taxpayer cash ON FUCKING STUPID.
• I voted for legalization because I am sick and tired of self-righteous assholes like David Brooks unleashing the "Do as I say, not as I do" edict for acceptable behavior in America.

If nothing else, smoking a join would sure beat lesser pleasures... like reading unintelligent op-ed trash by David Brooks.

Don't believe me? Just ask a teenage David Brooks.