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Posted on Thursday, July 27th, 2006

Dave!A while back I wrote an entry about how I regretted that I would not be attending the BlogHer event this weekend, and how I felt left out because I thought it was for the ladies but found out that other guys were going to be there as well. I was mostly bummed not because I would be missing out on a session for MommyBloggers... but because all kinds of people were attending that I'd love to meet and hang out with.

Much to my surprise, one lady commenter was very happy that I would not be attending, and was seriously pissed off that ANY men were daring to show up. Apparently, BlogHer is a "serious forum" and a "safe space" for women bloggers to discuss the issues that face them, and men showing up would just ruin everything.

At first I approved the comment, then replied with some smart-assed remark about BlogHer being "just like Wonder Woman's Paradise Island" because men weren't allowed, and then explained that the last thing I would want would be to disrupt the event, and only wanted to attend so I could meet with bloggers I like and read. But, after a few minutes of reflection, I deleted the comment and my reply... I was in the middle of travel, and didn't want to inflame my comments section with a totally unnecessary battle of the sexes.

But the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. How in the heck would me showing up to BlogHer suddenly cause everything to be ruined? No longer safe? No longer serious? It was so ridiculous as to be absurd, and so I decided to send my "virtual self" to BlogHer and show that I am all about supporting the ladies, and would absolutely have something to contribute...

FIRST of all, I'm guessing that whoever is giving the keynote would be brushed aside because, let's face it, who wouldn't want me to keynote their event? My speech would be filled with all kinds of encouraging messages to women about how blogging allows their voices to be heard as never before in history... I would wax poetic about female empowerment in a so-called "man's world"... I would praise the progress of females in blogging and pay respect to the many ladies who have made me a changed man by their blogging efforts. When I left the podium, there would be thunderous applause and not a dry eye in the house...

BlogHer Keynote

I can only guess that such a stunning performance in my keynote would result in my being asked to chair a few sessions about how to make a totally awesome blog. Since Blogography is the awesomest blog ever, it's only natural. I could do all kinds of sessions, but I think that one of my best-received would be how to improve your blog by adding photography...

BlogHer Photo Improvements

Or maybe a session about banding together and creating group blogs...

BlogHer Group Blogging

There's just so many things I'm good at that I'm sure to be an amazing asset at any event! I mean, who needs Arianna Huffington when you've got Dave?!? Sisters may be doin' it for themselves, but is that any reason to exclude your ovary-challenged counterparts in the blogosphere? I think not!

So ladies, please... leave your preconceived notions about the smellier sex at the door and embrace your fellow bloggers without prejudice. After all, we guys may have penises on the outside, but we're all about the vagina on the inside.

See you at BlogHer 2007!

Categories: Blogging 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. SJ says:

    Damn, poor shy Karl really needs one of those shirts to wear at BlogHer. I can’t imagine anything that would be more helpful to him in making friends there.

    Re toon #3: I see you figured out a solution to Hilly’s pottymouth …

  2. mrjerz says:

    This totally reminded me of the Dane Cook joke where he says, “I’m going to open a bar and call it ‘Head.’ Everyone who went there would know what’s going on. But it’d be 100 dudes just hanging around going, where’s all the chicks?” Dave, you’d be that chick among all those dudes, but, you know, reversed. I can’t wait to send over all my feminist friends to this post. You’re doomed. But it was still hilarious.

  3. yellojkt says:

    I guess I need to add BlogHER to my list of places I’m never going to get to. So far the only other thing on my list is the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival.

  4. Hilly says:

    Here’s where I get flamed as a woman….I am so sick of feminazi bullshit this week that I agree with you totally; who cares if a guy goes? Yeah, cause that is going to ruin it totally.

    Wow, I hope Karl did not walk into a lionesses den!

  5. jodi says:

    i want that tshirt!

  6. Hilly says:

    Oh and SJ…not even that would work 😉

  7. RW says:

    Is this Part Two???

  8. Dave2 says:

    Sure. Why not?

  9. Dave2 says:

    And, for any dumbasses who will inevitably visit here and needs things spelled out for them…

    This is an idiotic response to an idiotic statement.

    For further reading, please see the entry on “satire” over at Wikipedia.

  10. As a woman, I am completely incensed by this entry!

    Get your facts right: Your blog is NOT the awesomest blog, its the MOST awesomest blog!

    If you don’t rescind this utter untruth I will be forced to burn my bra and not shave my legs. 😉

    On a side note, nice panties.

  11. DaisyJo says:

    Just found you – think you’re hysterical!

  12. Sayuri says:

    Always with the banana Dave….

  13. Juli says:

    Would that make men BlogHerNauts??

  14. Jenny says:

    I would prefer it if you would go to BlogHer in drag, as a journalistic experiment, to really try to understand what it means to be a woman blogger. It would be exactly like when Gloria Steinem got a job as a Playboy Bunny.

    Actually, can you just dress up like a Playboy Bunny for us and skip the whole journalistic thing?

  15. margalit says:

    Blogher07 is supposed to be somplace east of the Mississippi River. Hopefully it will be WAY east, like in Boston. Then you can come and I’ll protect you and make sure that none of those pussy Blogher feminazis come and get you. And btw, where did you get that topless photo of me? I’m sure I never gave you one with permission to post it.

  16. Mooselet says:

    I’d protest by not shaving my legs, but since I haven’t done that in ages anyway due to winter in Australia and poor time management skills I guess that’s out. Hell.

    Tell the female chauvinists to stick that banana where the sun don’t shine. Which could be either place, really. And is Cartoon Dave topless in that second pic, because his chest is oddly pink like it had just been waxed.

  17. Dave2 says:

    Nah, he’s still wearing his “SHOW US YOUR TITS!” T-shirt.

  18. Carl says:

    I don’t get it. I thought the purpose of blogging was so that you didn’t have to get up off your arse and talk about things in the first place, because you can do it on your computer!

    But the whole meet thing seems cool. Do a whole tour… BlogMeet2006… WITH TITS!!!

  19. Belinda says:

    Please. I wish you hadn’t EVEN gotten the least bit upset over it, because as the FOUNDERS of BlogHer have made clear, the conference is open to EVERYONE. Whoever made that comment (please email me and tell me who it was) is obviously COMPLETELY clueless about what BlogHer is, and has NOT so m uch as read the Mission Statement. Lisa Stone REPEATEDLY posted, all over the internet, open invitations for men to attend BlogHer. I think the number was something over 20% male at last check.

    I still have two unused passes, for everything but the Day One panels. You are more than welcome to them.

    The only thing I don’t like about your post today is that I’m afraid it will give people who don’t know anything about BlogHer the idea that one deluded WHACK-JOB speaks for what it is, and what the rest of us think. Trust me, she doesn’t. And she’s in for a nasty shock if she thinks that you not going means it will be a testicle-free zone.

  20. serap says:

    That was hilarious! The last picture is my fave – how you could eat at a time like that is beyond me! What brand of mascara do your lady-bloggers use? I would LOVE eylashes like that!

  21. ms. sizzle says:

    maybe the shirt should say “Show us your tits then I’ll screw your blog.” 😉

    Here’s hoping the boys come back in one piece from the conference.

  22. Laurence says:

    I was not disappointed to wait…
    1/ You are right. To keep men or women in the background is sexist.
    2/ But if you really want to “communicate with” Blogher, I am not sure that you are on the right track !!!
    3/ What is it great in your blog ? Your blog has no limits. And (I think that) you are never going too far…
    4/ Out of sheer curiosity, why LittleDave eat banana when he’s in a “particular” situation ?

  23. karla says:

    Dave it’s your funniest post ever. Seriously. You’ve got me snorting with laughter in my office at work.

    Which is probably better than the guy next to me, who just snorts.

  24. adena says:

    Yeah, Whoop-de-do, there will be guys there.


    Seriously, some people need to get a life.

  25. Kevin says:

    I think this calls for some of mine and Johnny’s Co-Ed Naked Blogging T-shirts!!!!

  26. Tracy Lynn says:

    Ah, Dave. How do I love thee, let me count the ways…

    Dude, I’d almost pay to have you guest lecture a women’s studies class.

  27. Avitable says:

    I would also like to offer my services hosting a small workshop entitled “When HNT is a good thing”.

  28. Arthur Delaney says:

    Eh..I see both sides. I figure with all the violence that’s been done to women and years of subjugation and a current culture that asks women to be stupid I can see how many women could feel that men present would be threatening, or at least that it might be nice to not have men present once in a while. After all aren’t there statistics of how well all women colleges work? On the other hand…yeah I know. Anyway, great post. Hilarious.

  29. lizriz says:

    We miss you, Dave!!! 🙂

  30. Michelle says:

    They totally lost out that you didn’t go.

  31. Angela says:

    The drawings you always add to your blogs absolutely crack me up! ahaha Love them! What a wonderful sense of humor you have. Now I must go find some tissues to wipe down my monitor, because after the “just show us your tits” t-shirt, I have just spewed orange juice all over it. But first I think I’m gonna go have another peek at the heart man panties you’re sporting in the other picture. tee-hee You’re a trip! ahaha

  32. “we guys may have penises on the outside, but we’re all about the vagina on the inside”


  33. Jens K. Kiel says:

    Loved the DaveToons … but with the ‘real’ world going bonkers Blog-Politics are SO uncool.

    In regards of you your presence beeing unwanted at BlogHer – there’ll be always a Coke w/ Lime for you in West Virginia 🙂

  34. Deb_LA says:

    Whoo hoo! You will be there in spirit as Chase and I will do a “bad monkey” wet shirt contest in your honor…

  35. Chase says:

    If it makes you feel any better, you’re sorely missed. And I’ve seen a few Bad Monkey shirts being sported around the place.

    You’re here in spirit.

    Especially when we diddle ourselves.

  36. dawn says:

    When I was heavily involved in the local chapter of NOW, I found the same thing. There are people who will be separatists and there are people who will be welcoming. I think it’s ridiculous to bar one gender, one race, one language on the grounds that they won’t understand or be as supportive as the dominant gender, race, language, etc.

    I wish I could have gone myself. It’s a great place to meet those people who give us all inspiration – women and men.

    And your images are hilarious. You go, boy! 😉

  37. Karl says:

    Thank you, sir. So far, so good, though I have been getting my share of dirty looks. How dare I bring testicles with me to this conference.

  38. hollyster says:

    I can understand that with a name like “Blogher”, a male would not feel the conference is not directed to him. However, I do not think you should not feel like you can’t come, but know that it is focused on women. For the woman who was vehemently against men here, I think her objection is wrong but end-goal is correct. I do think its important for the minority group to feel comfortable in being honest. This being said, if Blogher became a place where there were more males than females, I think there would be a different dynamic where some (not all) women wouldn’t feel comfortable. Now, if the organizers of Blogher were all male, I would also think there is a different dynamic and women would not feel comfortable speaking up. This all being said, I think it’s important that men did come to Blogher so that views can be balanced and that men can understand what mommybloggers and womenbloggers are going through. Here are some pics of unabashed men who came out, sporting the great Blogher tote bag.

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