If you could steal something and be assured of getting away with it, what would you take? That's a really tough choice. I want a Ducati SuperSport 800, a BMW R1200-C Montauk, and Harley-Davidson V-Rod motorcycle... I suppose if I could only steal one, I'd take the Harley. I'd probably kill myself on the Ducati, and I've already got a BMW.

If you could vandalize something without fear of being caught, what object would you deface? Vandalizing something is kind of petty, so I'd at least try to be creative about it. Perhaps painting a giant image of Ralph Wiggum (from The Simpsons) on the front of Trump Tower? Every time The Donald is in public talking himself up with that gigantic ego of his, I picture Ralph for some reason. That being said, Trump was pretty good on Saturday Night Live, and it's nice to know that even a egotistical billionaire has no problem poking fun at himself. Since Ralph is my favorite of all characters on the show, this is actually kind of a compliment now that I think about it.

If you could trespass someplace where you were not allowed and nobody would find out, where would it be? That's easy. I'd love to sneak into Jonathan Ive's lab (he's the lead designer at Apple Computer). How cool would it be to know what amazing products Apple's going to release next?

FQ REDEMPTION: Time to redeem yourself for the above stated criminal activities! If you were allowed to write a new law, what law would you create? No talking on your mobile phone is allowed while driving. I do this all the time, and certainly most people are capable of doing this while still being a good driver. But unfortunately, there are morons out there who are simply not capable of doing two things at once. I've nearly been creamed twice on my motorcycle by idiots who are incapable of talking and driving at the same time. It's sad that the majority of us who are responsible mobile users would have to suffer because of a stupid minority, but I'd feel a lot safer while riding my motorcycle knowing that these dumbasses have one less thing distracting them.

Get criminal at the FridayQ.