Posted on November 6th, 2016
SUNDAY BEGAT SUNDAY AND SUNDAY IS SUNDAY, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Butter. A friend of a friend closed his restaurant last December. A while back he was asked if he would share some of his favorite recipes and he did. Then somebody asked him how in the heck he made his burgers taste so good. His answer? "Butter and salt." Saturate the buns in butter before grilling them. Just before flipping, salt and pepper the patty (his restaurant had a touch of garlic powder in the mix) then flip and add more salt. Sodium nightmare? Yes. But restaurants don't have to post Nutrition Facts, so that's how he made his burgers taste great. Tonight I gave it a try with my Boca Burger patties. *AMAZING* The abundance of butter and salt totally takes them to the next level. High blood pressure, here I come!
• Voter. Just sayin'...
Why American's aren't rioting in the streets for an end to our fucked-up two-party system I will never know.
• Wierd World. Oh Lord, Really? Pat Robertson's crazy shit is hilarious, yes, but there are people who actually believe the words he's saying! I mean, the gays are going to force me to like bestiality? BUT I DON'T WANT TO FUCK A GOAT!!! THANKS, THE GAYS!!!
This guy is bat-shit crazy. Genuinely certifiable. Scary insane.
• OH IT IS ON! Heinz starts making yellow mustard... SO NOW FRENCH'S IS MAKING KETCHUP! =BOOM!=
Which one is making mayonnaise next? And will Hellman's start making ketchup and yellow mustard of their own in retalliation?
• Dipshit Pie! Trae Crowder has become one of my favorite vloggers. His unique take on politics is comedy gold, and this was one of my favorites these past months...
Oh noooo.... where are we going to get our meth and pontoon boats?
• DNCE. While I was on sabbatical, I got hooked on DNCE's album Swaay for my "Album of the Summer." Their first video, Cake By The Ocean was catchy as hell and I was instantly addicted...
When they released their next video for Toothbrush, I was baffled by people calling lead singer Joe Jonas "brave" and "progressive" for featuring a plus-size model. IT'S ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM!!! She's one of the hottest women on the planet! I mean, seriously, there are guys who would take a look at ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM and say "No thank you?" It's not like he put a regular human woman in his video... IT'S ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM! Oh how brave of him! He was progressive enough to make out with ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM in his video! Give me a break.
The last video was for Body Moves, which was another catchy, high-energy track...
I have no idea if this was just a side-project for Joe Jonas or what. It will be interesting to see if the band stays together for another album. I sure hope so.
And... as good as it feels to be shootin' bullets again, this here Bullet Sunday is at an end.
Posted on June 14th, 2015
Your life just got a little bit more complicated... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Married! I'm a huge fan of Murad Osmann and Natalia Zakharova's Instagram artistry. Osmann's series of photos featuring his girlfriend leading him all around the world is captivating...
And now they've gotten married!
There's plenty more of these amazing shots over at Instagram.
Congratulations to you both! I look forward to where you'll be taking us next.
• Dingbats! I was saddened to learn that Hermann Zapf, world-famous German typographer had died. He created some of the most beautiful typefaces ever crafted, and left a body of work that will be admired as long as we still communicate with letterforms. As noted in the article above, Zapf's favorite typeface he created is "Optima," which is one of my favorites as well. Most people probably know him best for Palatino and Zapf Dingbats, which are fonts that have been installed on a lot of computers over the years. Your artistry will be missed.
• Two Bits! Refusing to let a gay man to cut your hair is like refusing to let a Michelin Three Star Chef make you a sandwich. Sublimely stupid. But nobody can accuse homophobic bigots of being smart.
• Robertson! What a dumb fucking asshole...
With that logic, how can Pat Robertson be against abortion? Maybe abortion doctors are just an instrument of God who wants to stop the next Hitler from happening. Just die already, you heartless, vile, hypocritical, disgusting turd.
• GAH! Guess I'm going to be getting Alzheimer's any minute now: Poor sleep might be the mechanism that triggers Alzheimer’s memory loss.
• Moose! Probably the best thing I saw all week...
Hopefully more Alaskans will show some kindness for animals caught in the middle of record high temperatures.
So long, bullets.
Posted on April 5th, 2015
Put on your Easter bonnet... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Egg! Happy Easter!
• Trek! Happy First Contact Day!
• Seder! And... hope you had a happy Passover yesterday!
• Watch! Still not sold on Apple Watch, but have to admit the thought that went into creating it is pretty amazing.
Too thick. Too expensive. For me.
• Like! Yep.
Expectations inside the social media bubble.
• Burberry! When "To Serve and Protect" involves showing up to somebody's house by mistake and shooting their dog, something is very, very wrong...
Errr... more wrong.
• Pat! Jesus.
The fact that people continue to take this dipshit seriously... let alone send him their money... boggles my mind.
And... time for an egg salad sandwich!
Posted on October 26th, 2014
Good thing I passed the 21-day ebola incubation period this week... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• EEEEBOOOLAAAAA!!! And speaking of everybody's favorite virus... the amount of sheer ignorance I see on a daily basis regarding Ebola is just mind-boggling. That's to be expected, I suppose, because people react poorly when they're frightened. But having news sources contributing to that ignorance... assumably to keep everybody scared enough to keep watching their show or reading their paper or listening to their program... is disgusting. It's so bad that I can't even look at the shit anymore (seriously, it's even worse than election coverage). Somebody wake me when this is over so I can tune into the world again. Well, until the next wave of bullshit hits, anyway.
• WTF?!? And speaking of dumbfuck idiots contributing to ignorance...
Pat Robertson should be institutionalized. The amount of crazy he unleashes in any given week is more of a public health risk than Ebola.
• Lincoln. One of those rare moments that SNL actually made me LOL...
Jim Carrey's still got it.
• Jane! I really, really wasn't wanting to add a new show to my television schedule, however...
Jane the Virgin (modeled after a Latin America telenovela) is so crazy over-the-top that I had no hope for it working, but it somehow does... and it's funny. Well worth your valuable time to take a look.
• Ridiculous! I don't care who you are, you know you've made it when you get to appear on Sesame Street. Aziz Ansari, one of my most favorite entertainers, just joined the club...
Nothing makes you feel like a kid again more than talking to a Muppet, I'm sure.
• Maintenance! There's no easy way to seque from Sesame Street to... whatever this is... but did you know they made a sequel to D*CK MAINTENANCE? "Why pay two guys in a van to come suck your d*ck when you can do it yourself?"
And, if you haven't seen the original...
And, on that note, I'm stopping with the bullets so I can go buff my d*ck.
Posted on April 12th, 2014
Teletubbies say "Eh oh!"
Posted on September 8th, 2013
Don't touch that dial... because Bullet Sunday starts now...
• Nanny! I'm what could be considered "middle-of-the-road" when it comes to politics. Yes, I think that there's some things the government should be doing to look after us and keep us safe... like making sure the water supply isn't going to kill us... but, for the most part, I feel our government should stay the fuck out of our lives when it comes to personal freedoms. Like being able to marry the person you fall in love with... regardless of whether or not you have the same genitalia. And being able to buy a Super Big Gulp if you feel thirsty enough to consume 40oz. of fizzy sugar-water. AND GETTING A TATTOO WHEN YOU FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. But here we go again... Washington, DC is contemplating a mandatory "tattoo waiting period" to minimize the risk of somebody getting a tattoo they'll regret... by making them wait 24 hours. Which is just a nice way of saying "people are too stupid to make their own decisions." Which is 100% true. Except it should be their stupid decision to make! Now, granted, my first tattoo had a waiting period of 26 years before I would commit... and my subsequent tattoos have a waiting period of weeks because my artist is 700 miles away... but if I wake up and decide I want a new tattoo right now, I think it is categorically absurd that there are people who feel I should be legally denied it. Getting a tattoo affects nobody but myself. And if I make a mistake, I'm the only one who has to live with it. Just as it should be. So if our politicians feel that they should start regulating stupidity, I'd encourage them to start with themselves.
• Katy! When it comes to music, Katy Perry is kinda hit-and-miss with me. I like some of her stuff okay... and thought her tour-movie Part of Me was great... but I never became a huge fan. Until the video for the first single off her new album was released...
Pretty amazing, actually. And the song ain't bad either. This is a Katy Perry I can't wait to see more of.
• FARTPOP! In contrast to the beautiful pop treasure that is Katy Perry, we now turn to Lady Gaga. I never much cared for her music... and positively loathe the first single off her forthcoming ARTPOP album, Applause (currently blasting from my TV in KIA Soul commercials). But I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt to see if she could win me over with her new material. Then came her iTunes Music Festival appearance (currently streaming for free in iTunes)...
Holy crap what a boat-load of shit. She should have stuck to ripping off Madonna. Her tedious "music" takes a back-seat to her "art," which couldn't be less edgy or relevant. And just when I thought things could possibly get worse, she comes out in a rhinestone-encrusted pig mask to sing Swine. Hopefully with this disaster, Gaga's 15 minutes will be up. Maybe then she'll get over all this laughably absurd "artist" persona and start making actual music. Which I honestly think she has the talent for if she'd focus on it. In the meanwhile, I'm preparing myself for an onslaught of FARTPOP idiocy come November.
• Reeves! And speaking of actual edgy and relevant musical artists... the song He'll Have to Go by Jim Reeves popped up as I was searching through YouTube earlier this week, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing...
This guy is totally bad ass! He's calling up the woman he's stalking and tells her to have her boyfriend get the fuck out so they can have phone sex. Ah, the good ol' days when something like this didn't result in a restraining order! On top of that, the guy's got an awesome singing voice!
• Blasphemy! One of the Worst People on Earth, televangelist Pat Robertson, is the subject of a new documentary detailing how his "Operation Blessing" program is more of a money-making scam than a charity... taking credit for work done by others, including my favorite charity: Doctors Without Borders. All so he could bail out his diamond mining operation...
And now God is telling me... that you should send me more money!
Disgusting. But he's denying it, of course.
Is it too much to hope that he finally ends up in jail? Or, at the very least, his supporters will finally realize that he follows much more closely in the footsteps of the Antichrist than Jesus Christ?
And... it's now 9:00, but feels a lot more like 11:00, so I may have to think about packing it up for the night.
Posted on September 1st, 2013
Turn it up to 11... because Bullet Sunday starts now...
• Return! The flight home from San Francisco was blissfully uneventful... until we landed... "SIR! I NEED YOU TO SIT DOWN AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT UNTIL WE ARE AT THE GATE. SIR? YES, YOU SIR... THE ONE WHO IS STANDING. SIR, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN NOW. YES... I AM TALKING TO YOU. YES, YOU. YES, PLEASE SIT DOWN WITH YOUR SEATBELT FASTENED UNTIL WE REACH THE GATE. THANK YOU FOR SITTING DOWN, SIR!" And this... this is why I could never be a flight attendant, because this is how I would have handled it... "HEY ASSHOLE! YOU NEED TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I'M GOING TO COME BACK THERE AND BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS!" Because, seriously, there's only so much shit I'm willing to take from stupid people, and all my patience would be used up on Day One of working the cabin at an airline.
• Fraud! I've lost track of the number of times Pat Robertson has "spoken to God" and made predictions that turned out to be bullshit. And yet, here we go...
Hypocrisy. It's what's for dinner. In this case, I suggest that his viewers take his advice and leave his congregation.
• Miyazaki! As I have mentioned on this blog many, many, many times, I am a monumental fan of Japanese animation director Hayao Miyazaki. The stuff he's churned out during his career is among the best ever seen, and I'm including giants the like of Disney, Pixar, and Bluth. In addition to seeing his films multiple times, buying his "making of" books, visiting his museum, and flying to L.A. for a rare US appearance... I've studied his work for decades. His latest film, The Wind Rises, has been quite controversial, but I am dying to see it anyway. Regardless of subject matter, it's bound to at least look amazing...
And now it's been announced that this will indeed be Miyazaki's final feature film. This has been threatened before, but was confirmed at the Venice Film Festival, so it's likely official this time. All I can hope is that Miyazaki-san will still release short films and books to satisfy his legions of fans. Including this one.
• Sundance! I like the new Sundance Channel show called The Writers' Room. Each episode has Jim Rash interviewing television screenwriters from such shows as Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. It's fairly interesting and worth your valuable time if you like television. But there's one problem. During the series they have "Pop-Up Video" style tidbits that show up, which would usually be a good thing. Except you can't frickin' read them because they're in tiny black type on a blue background! It's style over readability, and it sucks. Compare what happens if the people in charge of the show actually gave a shit about people being able to read what they're being shown...
Not as pretty? I'd agree. But at least you can READ the shit.
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Bullets are done.