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Geeky

Posted on Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Dave!I confess that I am a geeky nerd.

But you probably already knew that.

My geeky nerdiness is multifaceted in that I am part sci-fi dweeb (thanks to Star Trek) and part comic book dork (thanks to Batman). And, in-between all of that, is a love of Japanimation, Macintosh, Curious George, video games, and blogging. All I need is an inflatable plastic girlfriend, and I think I'm set...

Dave Nerd

But no matter how much of a geeky nerd I am, there's always somebody who's a step ahead of me.

Like Bill Gates, for instance.

Bill is the ultimate geeky nerd, and the fact that he has billions of dollars makes him a geeky nerd to be reckoned with (not to mention exceedingly generous, since he's giving away huge amounts of money to charitable causes). Here's a dweeb who has amassed a fortune of such huge proportions that there is literally nothing he can't do...

...except get a handle on cool new trends.

He was late to graphical interfaces. He was late to the internet. He was late to video... He's always one step behind what all the cool kids are doing, and the list goes on and on. If it doesn't involve Windows or MS Office, he's out of the loop.

As a current example, here's an excerpt from an interview he gave over at Engadget regarding the new Microsoft/MTV online music store called (=snicker=) URGE:

Bill Gates: "With music, having MTV as a partner is a great thing. We think they can get the word out, do some neat things. We're also doing a lot in Messenger to make it so you can share playlists, so you can listen to different things. The next version of Messenger has music as one of the big breakthrough scenarios."

Yeah. Right. Except partnering with MTV for music expertise is laughable and so very, very lame.

You can't even FIND music on MTV anymore. In checking their schedule just now, I see a show called Next, followed by three episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge, followed by There & Back, followed by My Own, followed by another episode of Next, followed by Room Raiders, followed by Punk'd, and topped off by SIX episodes of Viva La Bam.

These are all reality-based television shows.

WHERE IS THE F#@%ING MUSIC?!?

Teaming up with MTV for music is like teaming up with McDonalds for tacos, and I just don't get it. Sure if this were 1984, partnering with MTV would be totally sweet. But in 2006 it's just sad. Once again, Bill is behind the curve. Apple is flying high with iTunes, so now Microsoft has to do yet another "me too" by making their own music store (apparently MSN Music didn't work out?)... except they team up with a has-been and give it a lamer name like "URGE" (which could only be more lame if they called it "EXTREME URGE" or some crap like that).

When is Microsoft going to stop being the bloated whore of the tech industry so they can be lean, hungry, and bleeding edge? When is Bill Gates going to understand that these sloppy-seconds "partnerships" are just not relevant when we're talking about a ship that's already sailed. I'm tired of Bill being late to the dock, then renting a little rowboat thinking that he'll be able to catch up... all the while screaming to the media about how Microsoft is doing all this cool shit that, in reality, is only cool to him.

Total crap like "URGE" is a waste of money and makes us geeky nerds look bad. Even worse, it stifles REAL innovation by distracting attention from things that actually ARE bleeding edge and cool.

BILL... YOU HAVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS!! MICROSOFT IS ONE OF THE WEALTHIEST COMPANIES ON EARTH!! You don't NEED venture capital to finance something new... YOU'VE GOT MONEY COMING OUT YOUR ASS! STOP DICKING AROUND AND GET TO WORK!!

Build a flying car. Come up with wireless electrical power. Figure out a way to keep Golden Grahams from going soggy in milk... I don't really care... just do something NEW with your money for a change. Reclaim the geeky nerd you used to be and stop trying to play catch-up with the crap we've already got (seriously, "URGE"? WTF?!?). If you can't make it BETTER, it's just a waste of everybody's time.

In conclusion... wouldn't it be cool if McDonalds really did sell tacos?

McTaco they could call it!

BLOGOGRAPHY FLASHBACK ENTRY: DaveXP
BLOGDATE: March 6, 2005
   
In which Dave finally figures out a way of fixing all the bugs in Windows XP.
Click here to go back in time...

   

Herpes

Posted on Thursday, February 2nd, 2006

Dave!Last night while I was waiting for a surprisingly tame episode of Veronica Mars, I saw a new commercial for a product called Herpecin. In case you hadn't guessed, Herpecin is used for treating any herpes infections that happen to find their way onto your face. And, while I appreciate that when you get oral herpes there is a product to take care of it...

HERPECIN?!?

Dude! Seriously. Who in the heck wants to walk into the drugstore and ask the sales clerk: "Where can I find the Herpecin?"

Worst. Product. Name. Ever.

But it did get me thinking about what would happen if this trend escalates...

Dave Remedies

Bleh.

Unfortunately, as wonderful as modern medicine is... THERE IS STILL NO CURE FOR DUMBASS!!

Some stupid f#@%er is suing Apple Computer because listening to an iPod at full volume can cause hearing loss.

WELL NO SHIT YOU MORON!

Here's another newsflash for you... CUTTING YOURSELF WITH A KNIFE CAN CAUSE BLOOD LOSS!!

Who are these ignorant douchebags that are incapable of comprehending the obvious? The iPod NEEDS to have high volumes because NOT ALL MUSIC IS RECORDED AT THE SAME LEVEL! Some music is recorded softer than others. Many audiobooks certainly are. Some of the podcasts I've listened to are barely audible, even at full volume. On top of all that, some people are hard of hearing and need higher volume levels in order to hear anything in the first place. It's up to the individual to determine what volume level is appropriate for them and, if they are too f#@%ing stupid to figure it out, then they shouldn't be allowed to buy an iPod in the first place.

Seriously. This has got to stop.

Whenever a lawyer files such a stupid lawsuit, they should be immediately shot and then lit on fire. Or maybe bludgeoned with metal pipe and forced to choke on their own vomit. Or something involving a hack-saw and flesh-eating parasites. I dunno. All I do know is that this shit HAS GOT TO STOP!

What really chaps my ass is that these greedy turds are filing the lawsuit under the pretense of public safety, but the truth is that they WANT TO GET PAID. LAWYERS WANT MONEY!! Never mind that people have been using headphones for decades, all of a sudden everybody is too stupid and irresponsible to know that loud music can damage your hearing. WTF?!?

At some point people have to be responsible for their own stupidity rather than forcing everybody else to do it for them. That USED to be the American Way. But NOW the American Way is to sue everybody you can. Is this really what everybody wants for this country? Nobody wins but the blood-sucking bastard lawyers.

Anyway, one last thing... do you like potato chips? If you do, you'll want to read the rest of today's extended entry. If you don't like potato chips, then FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE DON'T CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW!!

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

Hi-Fi

Posted on Tuesday, February 28th, 2006

Dave!As a Certified Apple Whoreâ„¢, I become automatically enchanted with absolutely everything Apple does. Historically, this kind of blind devotion has been repaid, because everything they do is new, unique, classy, and better than most of the other crap in the market.

So when I had read that Apple was having some kind of media event today so they could unleash some cool new toys, I was understandably excited. Well, both excited and terrified, because Apple gear is usually pretty expensive, and I don't have extra cash laying around.

Turns out I needn't have worried. All the hype was for an upgraded Mac Mini computer and something called the iPod Hi-Fi.

Whoop-de-f#@%ing-doo.

The new iPod Hi-Fi has cool potential, EXCEPT IT'S NOT AN IPOD!! It's just speakers for your iPod. In fact, without an iPod plugged in, it doesn't do anything at all. So why call it an iPod when it's not and confuse everybody?? Beats the heck out of me...

Ipodhifi

It would be different if it had a massive hard drive inside and could act as a wireless repository hub for your music, video, and data... but it doesn't. It's a boom box accessory with a remote control. I might be at least a little excited if Bose hadn't already come up with a more elegant-looking solution that costs $50 less and doesn't have your iPod awkwardly sticking out the top. It's called the Bose SoundDock...

Ipodbosedock

So when Apple asks "who better to design the ultimate stereo system for iPod than the folks who designed iPod itself?" I'm guessing the answer is Bose, who has a heck of a lot more experience designing small-footprint sound systems than Apple does.

Kind of sad really. I wanted my big-screen video iPod.

   

Vapor

Posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

Dave!I have wonderful, amazing news.

Incredible, spectacular, miraculous news.

As I was heading home yesterday, I stopped at the mini-mart and found out that my beloved Coke with Lime is back! Sometimes begging and pleading actually works. What I am not sure of is if this is old stock that the Coke Man is trying to get rid of... or if it really hasn't been discontinued, and they were just going to stop selling it at that one store until I complained.

Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm just happy I can still buy it...

Dave with Lime

Coke with Lime kicks ass.

In other news: Ha ha. HAH HA HA HAAAHHH! BWAAAAAHH HAAAHH HA HAAAAAAHHH!

Vista Delay

Maybe they should call it "Windows VAPOR"?

For crying out loud... just buy a Mac and be done with it.

   

As for me? I'm going to Daveland...

Daveland!

Oh Daveland...
   It's the place to sing a happy song.
   Grab your wallet and come along!
Oh Daveland...
   It's the place to have a great day.
   Bring your money to pay pay pay!
Oh Daveland...
   It's the place where fun times begin.
   Give us cash or you ain't gettin' in.
Oh Daveland...
Dave how we love you!

   

Mini

Posted on Friday, May 19th, 2006

Dave!And so I went and bought an Intel Duo-Core Mac Mini.

I guess this won't be very surprising... I am a total Mac whore. Me buying something from Apple is about as shocking as water being wet. What is somewhat surprising is that I bought the little guy to be a media server. It's hooked up to my television, and has a copy of all my music, photos, videos, movies, and even a complete backup of my current work files. I can access all of it from any room in my apartment via wireless. Eventually I'll have it set up so I can access it remotely over the internet as well. It does everything a "real" server does, but is remarkably small...

Mac Mini

It's so small, that I think I could probably fit six of them into my Mac G4 Cube, which was the smallest computer I had owned to date. The cool thing is that it seems quite a bit faster as well.

And now I am off to wash clothes so I can get my suitcase packed this weekend. But before I go...

Dave Bob

Just a reminder that I was a guest blogger over at Chasing Vincenzo yesterday. At least it was supposed to be yesterday, except I couldn't get my entry to post, so it's actually this morning. So if you just can't get enough of my nonsense, here's a link to RW's blog.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  18 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Beep

Posted on Saturday, May 20th, 2006

Dave!I don't feel good.

I woke up this morning and the room was spinning. It was like a hangover, but without the benefit of having gotten drunk the night before. I'm thinking that it might be that avian bird flu that's going 'round. I should have liked to stay in bed all day, but I have a quick trip to get ready for.

Before I leave town, it's customary to back-up my PowerBook just in case somebody should steal it. Now that I have my Mac Mini Server in place, it's a piece of cake. Enjoyable even. Then afterwards, just to be sure everything went okay, I randomly open some files. That's when this DaveToon came up...

Dave N Jack

I had absolutely no recollection of drawing it or even if I had used it (yep, I had), but it's kind of ironic because this is exactly how I feel today.

If only I had that fifth of Jack Daniels to blame.

   

Vista

Posted on Thursday, June 8th, 2006

Dave!If I were a Windows fan just now, I would be pissed.

Inconsolably, irrevocably, undeniably pissed... because this long wait for the new "Windows Vista" with delay after delay after delay was so totally not worth it. I finally got to take a look, and it's just. Not. Worth. It.

You could so easily dismiss my criticism as "tainted" because I am a self-admitted Mac-Whore, but the simple fact is that I WANT Windows to be good. I NEED Windows to be good. For one thing, if Windows is some hot shit, Apple has to work harder and push the envelope faster to keep the Mac OS ahead of the game. For another, I have to actually use Windows from time to time, and would like for it to be a good experience. Nothing would make me happier than to finally be raving about Windows.

But, alas, Apple has nothing to worry about. The Windows experience still sucks ass...

Davevista

I am still trying to figure out what's so radically different in Vista. Sure they tried to make it LOOK more like a Mac than ever before (wheeee! frosty transparent windows!!)... and some processes are more "Mac-like"... but, for the most part, it's just more of the same. Even worse, neither of my two Windows machines (including one that's only a year old!) even supports the new OS fully, so I would have to go out and spend thousands of dollars in order to get a worse experience than my six-year-old Mac G4 Cube? WTF?!?

It still amazes me that people continue to claim that Macs are too expensive. From where I'm sitting, they are the best computer value on the planet... my little $700 Mac Mini is a superior computer experience RIGHT NOW (and does more out of the box) than a Vista machine costing twice as much eventually will. And then we have the NEXT version of OS X ("Leopard" v10.5) dropping soon... perhaps even before Vista ships (if it ever ships)... and heaven only knows what cool stuff is in store for Mac users then.

I may be a Mac whore but I am not a Mac idiot. My loyalty to Apple has been well-earned, but I am all about "the now" and maintain that if Microsoft were to ever release a superior OS, I would have no problem... no problem at all... dumping the Mac and switching to Windows (and the new Intel Macs make this possible at any time).

But Vista ain't going to do it.

Vista doesn't even come close.

Given my complete lack of Windows enthusiasm, I am too bored to write up any kind of review. A quick Google search reveals an article at ComputerWorld that does a better job than I could anyway.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  25 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Egg

Posted on Monday, June 12th, 2006

Dave!When my next blogiversary rolls around and I decide to print new T-shirt to celebrate the occasion, somebody slap me. For the first two years, I never had to send out more than fifty shirts. This year there are HUNDREDS to ship, and it's a lot of work (as in an unbelievably huge amount of work).

I spent a big chunk of my weekend folding, bagging, boxing, and processing... yet only managed to get through 94 of the 311 orders I received. Tonight I barely got through another 40. At this rate, it will take me the rest of the week to ship all the shirts out, which makes me feel bad for everybody who's been waiting so long.

Ooh! As I'm typing this just now, thunder ripped through the heavens, lightning started crashing, and a deluge of water started dumping out of the sky.

Almost makes me glad that I didn't pull my motorcycle out of storage yet.

Anyway... I've had a few people ask before, and James just asked again, so I present a recipe for y'all:

Dave's Perfect Fried Egg Sandwich!

  1. Grate a half cup of Tillamook Medium Cheddar Cheese and set aside.
  2. Crack two eggs in a large skillet that's been pre-heated over medium heat and treated with cooking spray (like PAM) or a tablespoon of butter.
  3. Sprinkle eggs with salt and pepper to taste, then pierce the yolk so it runs. While the egg is cooking, pop two slices of white bread (preferably a "wide" loaf bread, like Orrowheat) in the toaster.
  4. Continue cooking the eggs until just before they start to turn crispy (I usually flip the eggs over for a bit at the last minute)... then remove from heat (DON'T let them turn brown!).
  5. The toast should have popped up by now, so lay the slices side-by-side on a plate - if you are hard-core and don't mind the extra calories, go ahead and butter the toast (so that it ends up on the inside of the sandwich... you don't want to end up with butter-fingers). Put the eggs on one half and sprinkle with the Tillamook Cheddar, then cover with the remaining slice of toast.
  6. Eat and be happy.
  7. VARIATION: From time to time I like to spread that second slice of bread with mayo (because eggs, butter, and cheese simply aren't enough fats for me)... it's ever so delicious and creamy!

And if you're looking for something to watch while eating your sandwich, here's some spiffy-keen new Mac ads...

Macinthebox

Look! It's a Mac-In-The-Box!!

   

Timothy

Posted on Saturday, July 8th, 2006

Dave!There wasn't much I had planned today. A few museums. Eating REAL bagels from H&H on the Upper West Side. That kind of thing.

Oh yeah... and visit the new 5th Street Apple Store.

This amazing new structure is about the coolest Apple Store yet (though I still loves me Tokyo, Chicago and L.A.) and is really beautiful with the light shining through it. The store itself is actually underground, but the big cube marks the entrance to the glass staircase and houses the elevator tube...

NYC Apple Store

NYC Apple Store

NYC Apple Store

Once I was finished snapping photos and ready to descend into the packed store below, a guy walked up to me... turns out it was Timothy from Araalinas (and now at Araalinusa)!! He has one more day in the city before heading to Uganda to teach, and apparently wanted to see the Apple Store before leaving the country.

It's strange, because when I first saw him, something familiar flashed in my head but I dismissed it. But when he walked up to me, I recognized him immediately from his blog (it's a small blogosphere after all!).

After we said our goodbyes, I wandered down to the Apple Store and suddenly realized that I should have gotten a photo, because nobody is going to believe this. After getting back to the hotel, I immediately unloaded my camera to see if he was in any of the shots I took. Sure enough...

Timothy at Apple Store NYC

Now, seriously. What are the odds here?

I mean, I run into people every once in a while who recognize me (or, to be more accurate, my shirt), but a fellow blogger I read who is from American Samoa via Florida on a stopover in New York City before he's on his way to Africa? This is some crazy stuff right here.

And there I was with no Hello Kitty Pop-Tarts to offer him.

Blogging is SO worth it.

   

Night

Posted on Sunday, July 9th, 2006

Dave!New York City is pretty sweet any time of day, but I think I like it at nighttime the best.

Last night I decided to venture out into the city once again so I could see the Apple Store lit up in all its glory. And, yes, it's pretty sweet. The way the Apple logo reflects into the glass is almost holographic-looking, and you can see everything a lot better because the reflections from neighboring buildings is not so bad. It is truly a beautiful structure, so kudos to Steve Jobs and his cube obsession for giving New York City another landmark piece of architecture...

NYC Apple Store at Night

NYC Apple Store at Night

Not to say that there aren't a lot of other buildings that look great at night...

NYC at Night

NYC at Night

Most of today was spent at the American Museum of Natural History. Not only did they have a freakin' cool exhibit on lizards (which I love), but there's a new Space Show narrated by Robert Redford called Cosmic Collisions, and an IMAX film I haven't seen called Amazing Caves. It's a pretty sweet place to spend an afternoon. How many places can you see giant dinosaur bones in one hall...

Dinosaur Bones

And then see a statue of a chubby doggy in the next?

Chubby Doggy

Today was my last day in NYC, and I'm kind of sad about that.

   

Jersey

Posted on Sunday, August 6th, 2006

Dave!DUDE!

Thanks to Brandon over at The Sports Logo Pundit, I just ordered me what has to be the sweetest hockey jersey on the planet from the Milwaukee Admirals.

Seriously, check this out...

Milwaukee Admirals Away Jersey

Coolest. Logo. Ever.

IT'S A PIRATE!! And note that the jersey has a lace-up front, buccaneer-style, which is even sweeter.

According to Brandon there's controversy because some people don't like the new logo, but these people are full of crap! Just look at the lame logo they used to have versus the sweet hotness of the logo they have now...

Milwaukee Admirals New Logo

The only sucky part is that the jerseys are so popular there is a seven-week wait. But that's okay, I guess, because it will actually be cool enough to wear it then.

And speaking of totally frightening impulse shopping... tomorrow is one of the two scariest days of the year: the start of Apple's World Wide Developers Conference (the other day being MacWorld in January). And why is that? Because it's when Apple will unleash cool new products on an undeserving world. And what will it be? New big-screen video iPod? iPhone? Mac Pro? iTaco? Who knows?!?

Of course, being the Mac whore that I am, I will totally end up buying everything... even though I can't afford it.

I still remain hopeful for iToast...

iToast

I swear I would totally buy a box of rusty nails, so long as it had the Apple logo on it.

Somebody help me.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  32 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Animated

Posted on Monday, August 7th, 2006

Dave!I am a huge fan of animation and have done my fair share of goofing around using both traditional hand-drawn and 3-D computer techniques. The problem is that animation is hard to do well, so I usually get frustrated and give up. Still, it's proven to be valuable experience, because it has made me better at story-boarding and character design (which is work I really enjoy).

Recently I've fallen in love with the idea of making my own animations again, and have decided to see what I can do with the hefty DaveToon library I've accumulated from my blog over the past couple of years. At first I was going to do everything in 3-D, but that quickly fell through because the 2-D nature of my simple drawings didn't look very good when translated. So now I've been messing around with 2-D cell animation and find that it isn't much easier. The characters were never intended to be animated when I first created them, so everything looks a little strange when I attempt it.

But, after a drawing up a few dozen pages of movement animatics and character structure, I'm getting much closer to being able to make DaveToons come to life. Here's a page showing the frames of a simple head-turn...

Davetoon Lil' Dave

And here's an attempt at restructuring Bad Monkey for movement...

Davetoon Bad Monkey

At this point I still don't know if it's going to work. Hopefully I'll get it figured out after another two dozen pages.

Anyway...

Fortunately, Steve Job's keynote speech at Apple's World Wide Developer's Conference didn't result in me going bankrupt. No widescreen Video iPod. No super-cool iPhone. No iPod Car Stereo. Just the release of the impressive new Mac Pro machines and a peek at the X-Serve server specs. This really makes sense, because consumer devices like iPods and iPhones don't really belong at a software developer's conference anyway.

The highlight of the keynote was, of course, a sneak peak at the next version of the MacOS X operating system, code-named Leopard. Steve was very clear that they would only be showing a few of the features that they have planned, because they need to have a few surprises left in store for the product launch.

Holy crap.

If THIS is the cool stuff that they are willing to show us, then heaven only knows what else they're going to pack into the OS when it ships next Spring! Once again Apple totally blows by Microsoft Windows, which is still trying to copy the previous version of the MacOS with their ever-delayed "Windows Vista" OS (which, in my mind, is rip-off because it's mostly a bunch of security fixes that SHOULD have been put in Windows XP). Why anybody would still want to cling to that lamer imitation is a complete mystery to me. Every single time I am forced to use my Windows PC, it's like stepping back in time... even when I am using the "Windows Vista" beta. Apple revolutionizes their OS nearly every year, whereas Windows just continues to lag behind and stagnate. "Vista" ain't going to change that, because paying for a bunch of security fixes and an outdated GUI simply isn't worth it. I can't help but wonder how many people will switch to the Mac after seeing what a total disappointment "Vista" is turning out to be when compared to how rippin' cool Leopard is.

Oh well.

All I can say is that I am amazed at the new "Time Machine" and "Core Animation" tech built-in to the new MacOS, and am thrilled that virtual desktops will finally be built-in as well. Everything else is just beautiful gravy, and I can't wait to see what else we're going to get with MacOS X v10.5!

   

Appreciated

Posted on Thursday, August 24th, 2006

Dave!Today is Blog Appreciation Day and, trust me, if I had the time to load up the hundreds of blogs I read so I could take their photo, I would absolutely do that. But, on top of all the crazy stuff that happened today, my new Mac Pro showed up, and so a huge chunk of my day was spent setting it up, transferring files, and screaming (if you're really interested, I've put the whole ordeal in an extended entry).

But, despite the fact that I couldn't participate, Kevin and Karl were nice enough to photograph my blog anyway...

Blog Appreciated

Unfortunately, it's also "Planet Depreciation Day," and some dumbass astronomy guys decided that Pluto was no longer a planet. This is totally lame, and I have news for you... I don't really give a crap what they say, to ME Pluto is STILL A MUTHERF#@%ING PLANET!! Hey, it sure looks like a planet, and even has a freakin' moon...

Pluto

Okay then. If the joys and frustration of Macintosh computer ownership fascinate you, then feel free to continue reading about my day in an extended entry, filled with bitching and geeky goodness...

Mac Pro

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

DOA

Posted on Friday, August 25th, 2006

Dave!Well crap. I had thought that my re-seating of the RAM, video card, and hard drive was a permanent fix for my new DOA Mac Pro yesterday... but, alas, it was not to be. When I went to turn it on this morning it was dead again, and no amount of mucking about the insides would help. My brand new Mac is dead. I am guessing that something got banged loose in shipping.

As I have said many times... I don't evaluate a company by what happens when things go right (that's what is supposed to happen), but what happens when things go wrong. Usually with a serious computer problem like this, the manufacturer insists on sending random replacement pieces in a half-hearted attempt to fix the computer. Not Apple. They are building me an entirely new machine. Pretty classy.

So, while I am sad that I don't have a functional Mac Pro, I am relieved that Apple is handling it correctly.

In other news, I've added Dr. Phil to my list of The Worlds Most Annoying People...

Douchebags

He surges past David Caruso, Martha Stewart, and Judge Judy... but doesn't quite knock Jared the Subway Sandwich Whore from the top spot. Unfortunately, this drops American Idol Taylor Hicks out of the top-five, but who really cares? He disappeared faster than vapor, so it's not like he's around to be annoying anyway.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  26 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Kicked

Posted on Saturday, September 9th, 2006

Dave!You know how when you get smacked in the balls there's that fleeting state of euphoria where you think "oh jolly good... it's not going to hurt after all" — until a second later when the overwhelming pain surges through your body so badly that you throw yourself on the ground and beg for death to take you? Not that I'm in the habit of getting smacked in the balls on a regular basis, but the few times it did happen left a real impression.

Anyway, this is the exact same feeling I get when I use Microsoft Windows.

At first I get that slight tinge of euphoria and think "it's not going to hurt after all" until a second later when I realize that a drive letter has been mysteriously re-assigned by the OS, and all my links are broken. Then I'm down on the ground begging for death to take me as I scream "Argh! My balls! My precious balls!"...

Davekickedballs

Ah yes... kicked in the nuts by Windows... AGAIN. This happens so often that my testicles start aching every time I hear that annoying Windows startup sound (much the way I have an orgasm when I hear the Mac startup sound).

When Vista is released, I'm investing in an athletic cup.

   

Zoon

Posted on Thursday, September 28th, 2006

Dave!As a Certified Apple Whore, I bought a first-generation iPod the minute it became available. I then went on to buy an assortment of other iPod models because Apple owns my ass. I have not, however, purchased a video iPod because the screen is too small for extended viewing. Until they manage to make a model with a larger screen, I'll just have to make due with my iPod nano, iPod Shuffle, and third-generation iPod.

But now Microsoft has come along with a media player of their own called "Zune" which features a larger screen and other toys that the iPod lacks...

Mszune

It will come as a surprise to nobody that I will not be buying one of these. The REASON I will not be buying one, however, probably will be surprising...

  • It's NOT because it's made by Microsoft. Though I hate MS Windows with a fury of a thousand suns, I'm perfectly willing to purchase other Microsoft products if they're the best option for me. I've owned MS mice. I use MS Office. I have an MS Xbox. I do not discount something out-of-hand just because Microsoft makes it.
  • It's NOT because Zune is ugly. Sure this product looks laughably bad... the tacky silver trim accents alone are enough to make me gag... but looks are fleeting. Take my Apple stuff. Sure it looks great out of the box, but it isn't built to stay that way. My iPod looks like shit because it's all scratched up. My beautiful aluminum PowerBook looks like crap because the metal coating wasn't anodized properly and is flaking off. Because of that, even Zune's horrendous design doesn't bother me.
  • It's NOT because there's no version for the Mac. You'd think this would be a deal-breaker, but it's not. If Zune was compelling enough, I'd install Windows on my Macs and use it that way. Not an ideal solution but, I update my iPods only before I go on a trip, so I could probably stand to use Windows just long enough to update my Zune.
  • It's NOT because Microsoft has a shitty reputation for their handling of Digital Rights Management. In my opinion, ALL DRM is crap, and the fact that Microsoft developed their "PlaysForSure" solution and then totally abandoned it for something fresher on Zune is just the price you pay (I guess "PlaysForSure" is now "PlaysForShit?"). Most of my music is from CDs anyway, and what few tracks I do have from Apple can be made DRM-free if you have the patience to research how.

So what is it? What possible reason is keeping me from buying a Zune? If you care, the answer is in an extended entry...

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

Trifecta

Posted on Friday, September 29th, 2006

Dave!A year ago today I was in China standing on The Great Wall (though I got a better view of it the next day before I headed off to the Forbidden City).

This year, I'm stuck at home in a place where Screech has a scary-ass sex tape out, Clay Aiken has another shitty album out, and a sneak peek of the brillant Veronica Mars season premiere is out... kind of.

It's a trifecta of horrors on a Friday night...

See. Hear. Speak.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS CRAP! Annoying nerd-boy Dustin "Screech" Diamond from that totally forgettable television monstrosity Saved By The Bell has a sex tape out. Apparently, he's involved in a tape trading ring with "high profile people" where you get points for doing freaky shit and videotaping it. Now, I have no problem if people are into this kind of stuff... because, until the Constitution is completely rewritten, everybody in the good ol' USA has the right to get their freak on... but why would anybody want to see a tape which features SCREECH in any kind of sexual situation?!? Fortunately for us, President Bush will soon have the power to declare scary crap like this to be an "attack against America" and have creepy sex pervs like Screech interned and tortured.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS CRAP! How in the heck does somebody like Clay Aiken sell records? To say that his "music" sucks ass is a declaration of such absurd understatement as to be laughable. His latest album of cover-tunes is everywhere and you can't turn the channel without having to listen to him totally butchering some old song in horrifying new ways. I DARE you to fire up iTunes and subject yourself to his ass-blasting renditions of once-beautiful songs like Mr. Mister's Broken Wings and Foreigner's I Want To Know What Love Is or Paul Young's Everytime You Go Away. Holy crap! The least Clay could do for his "fans" is shit all over his own songs rather than take a dump on classics.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS CRAP! The best show on television, Veronica Mars, will have its season premiere on October 3rd. But, in a very interesting turn of events, the entire first episode is available for free viewing on the internet right now! This is awesome news! Unless you are a Macintosh user, in which case you can go fuck yourself! That's right, boys and girls... instead of using a format everybody can enjoy, the new CW Network has handed this totally sweet deal over to MSN which means, unless you are running Windows with Internet Explorer 6 and Windows Media 10, you are out of luck! Using a Mac? Go fuck yourself! Using Linux? Go fuck yourself twice! What's totally lame is that Mac users CAN view the ass-kicking opening scene from the episode by going directly to CW TV's site. But all that will do is leave you hungry for more, which you can't have unless you are a Windows sufferer. The reason I don't want to talk about this is because the CW Network was nice enough not to cancel Veronica Mars... for which I am eternally grateful. But I find it somehow ironic that Veronica herself and most all of the other characters on the show use Macs, thus wouldn't be able to watch their own season premiere online.

Why is it that total suckage always comes in threes?

   

Unbuntu

Posted on Saturday, October 28th, 2006

Dave!I spent most of the afternoon attempting to get my Windows PC running again. I finally just had to re-install the Windows OS... again... which is always an ass-load of fun. Now everything is working, but it's put me in a really bad mood. It was made even worse when I found out that Blogography doesn't render properly in Explorer anymore. I have no idea what's going on there, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Windows sucks ass.

Which is why I've been playing with the Ubuntu Linux OS...

Ubuntu

I must say, I'm impressed. It installs like a dream, works beautifully, feels snappy, and is totally FREE! So far I've got it installed on both an old PowerPC Mac and an old Wintel box, and it runs great. If all I needed was to surf the web, write email, and create an occasional word processing document, or spreadsheet or whatever, I could totally switch no problem. But too much of what I do can't be done on Ubuntu (yet) so it's going to have to remain an interesting diversion for the time being.

I can easily see Ubuntu making wide deployment into office environments though, because you just can't beat the price. You've got pretty much everything you need (including Open Office, the MS Office clone), and other nifty open-source apps like Scribus (for page layout) and Quantus Plus (for web site creation) are only going to push things further as they mature. In another couple of years, Ubuntu is going to be on equal footing with Macs and PCs which has got to be making some people very nervous.

"I'm a leaf on the wind... watch how I soar..."

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  22 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Nonfunctional

Posted on Friday, November 3rd, 2006

Dave!Well crap.

For some reason my PowerBook is no longer wanting to charge up the battery. This is very bad news, because I'm in Seattle through Monday and need to get some work done. The plug-in port for my power adapter feels loose, so something tells me that this is a hardware problem that can't be fixed at a local Apple Store.

Oh well. Perhaps this is a sign telling me to put aside work for the night and do something more fun with my life?

Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  2 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

MacBook

Posted on Thursday, November 16th, 2006

Dave!My new MacBook Pro has arrived, so any time I would have spent blogging tonight was consumed with installing my software and making sure my data transferred across okay. Fortunately I have a .Mac account, so most of the configuration and settings were adjusted automatically, but there was still a few hours of work to be done.

The good news is that everything is up and running just fine...

Photo Booth

I kept notes on my thoughts, impressions, and complaints as I went along and am putting them in an extended entry. Mostly boring stuff, but I like to keep a record of things like this for future reference.

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...
Categories: Apple Stuff 2006Click To It: Permalink  23 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

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