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Bullet Sunday 473

Posted on Sunday, May 1st, 2016

Dave!Don't despair over your impending march to Monday, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• HASTURD! What happens when a complete piece of shit holds political power?

Apparently they get away with being child-raping garbage. God bless America.

   
• Jack! And so it looks like John Krasinski has been cast as Jack Ryan in a new Amazon series based on John Clancy's books. In all honesty, I think he may end up being the best Jack Ryan yet. Baldwin wasn't physical enough. Ford was too old. Affleck not cerebral enough. Pine was just (surprisingly) plain bad. They all lacked something essential to the character. Krasinski, on the other hand, is the whole package. If they get the story right, I think he'll knock it out of the park. And if he can get his wife to make a guest appearance, so much the better! The only thing that gives me pause is that Carlton Cuse and Graham Richard are developing the series. Given the way they took an amazing concept and flushed it down the toilet with Lost, my confidence in them delivering with Jack Ryan is very low. Fingers crossed though.

   
• English! If you're into linguistics, here's a video for you...

Of course, there are dialects within dialects on both sides of the pond, but this is a pretty great encapsulation of the differences.

   
• Shame. This is the America we're building...

PEOPLE. JUST. WANT. TO. FUCKING. PEE! As they've been doing in bathrooms for centuries! And yet, here we are... people being terrified by asshole politicians taking a non-problem and blowing it up so as to distract from what's really going on...

Again, the people most responsible for doing heinous shit in public bathrooms... ARE ASSHOLE POLITICIANS, ASSHOLE RELIGIOUS NUTS, AND ASSHOLE CRIMINALS... not transgender persons! And if you buy into the lies, guess what, you're the problem!

   
• Pop! Amazing how I'm still discovering excellent 80's pop music that I somehow missed in the actual 80's. This time? A Good Heart by Feargal Sharkey...

And, just to show that I'm not above missing out on current pop music, I recently heard Cake by the Ocean by DNCE, which is awesome...

And, yes, that's a Jonas Brother on the mic there.

   
Alrighty then... the time has come to say goodbye to another edition of Bullet Sunday. Until next week...

   

Behavior

Posted on Monday, May 2nd, 2016

Dave! As it should come as no surprise to anybody, cats are weird.

My cats Jake and Jenny seem weirder than most, as they do inexplicably crazy crap a dozen times a day. And while it's impossible to know exactly what is going on in that fuzzy little head of theirs, TED has released a video which attempts to explain some of what's going on...

I dunno. That just makes cats even weirder to me.

And because I just can't get enough TED, here's another video that's worth a watch...

And now I'm feeling sick. THANKS, TED!

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Ministering

Posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

Dave!You know, it's one thing to raise your children in your own image and teach them your personal brand of morality... that's a parent's job. But it's quite another to teach your children to ambush other children over something of which they have no control.

As made abundantly clear from this moronic video courtesy of the Jehovah's Witnesses...

"Well... people have their own ideas about what is right and wrong..." Yes. And some people's "ideas" are bullshit that destroys lives, but whatever.

After watching this primer on homophobia, I'm dying to know what happens next... this little girl confronts Carrie and tells her that her moms are going to hell unless she convinces them to change their "evil ways?" What's that do for Carrie? If her moms don't split up and marry men like she tells them "Jehovah intended" is she supposed to bail on them at age 6? Is this wacky family going to adopt her and every other kid whose lives their "ministering" destroys? Or at least pay for the funeral expenses when Carrie can't take the badgering anymore and kills herself?

This video is everything wrong with American society today. It's not enough that you have the freedom to believe whatever you want to believe for yourself and your family... you have to force your views on other people too? Well fuck you. This being America and all, each family gets to decide for THEMSELVES how they want to live their life. If you don't agree with that, then feel free to "minister" to THEIR PARENTS if you must... but leave the fucking kids alone. It's hard enough for children to survive in a world where they are ridiculed and persecuted for who their parents are... they don't need your self-entitled little shits making their lives worse.

   

Cross-Section

Posted on Wednesday, May 4th, 2016

Dave!It's Star Wars Day! May The Fourth Be With You!

Interestingly enough, Star Wars has been on my mind a lot lately because I'm finally getting around to looking at all the cool books I bought when The Force Awakens was unleashed. By far my favorite has been Star Wars: The Force Awakens... Incredible Cross-Sections.

I've long been a huge fan of cross-section illustrations. It all started when I bought a cross-section poster of the USS Enterprise when the movie franchise was started. It was glorious, and made the ship (thus the show) seem more real to me...

USS Enterprise Cross-Section Poster

It was around that time that I discovered the incredible books by Stephen Biesty. He did many amazing illustrations of both fantasy, history, and contemporary places and things. I spent hours looking through as many as I could find...

Stephen Biesty Cross-Section Illustration

Stephen Biesty Cross-Section Illustration

Biesty led me to a love of all things David Macaulay, who isn't so much a cross-section artist, but an illustrator who excels at explaining things. He even had his own TV show which supplemented documentary-style looks at cool stuff like the pyramids with his illustrations...

But I digress...

Star Wars: The Force Awakens... Incredible Cross-Sections is a book filled with exactly what you'd think it would be filled with... amazing illustrations of all things Star Wars cut away to show inside and how they work...

Star Wars Cross-Section

Star Wars Cross-Section

And yes, this is the infamous book that showed how Han Solo installed a kitchen for Princess Leia that had the internet up in arms a while back. Though, to be honest, I never saw this as sexist... I just saw it as Leia refusing to live like savages...

Star Wars Cross-Section

   
Anyway... even if you're not a massive cross-sections fan like myself, if you're a Star Wars fan, this book is still definitely worth a look...

Star Wars Cross-Section

You can get your own copy of Star Wars: The Force Awakens... Incredible Cross-Sections for pretty cheap... it's just $14 at Amazon.

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Cruzed

Posted on Thursday, May 5th, 2016

Dave!In case it hasn't been glaringly apparent, I fucking loath Ted Cruz.

In all the worst possible ways.

Thus the complete implosion of his presidential ambitions (along with the entire Republican Party) has been a source of great amusement to me. Especially the commentary from Samantha Bee on her show Full Frontal which you should absolutely be watching...

Samantha Bee on Ted Cruz

   
And then there was her epic take-apart from the show...

Yep, we certainly side-stepped a bullet with Ted Cruz for president.

You know you loathe Ted Cruz when you can't even bring yourself to like him a little bit as he drags Donald Trump through the trash. No mention of Trump's UNDENIABLE PROOF that President Obama wasn't a US citizen that we're STILL waiting to see... oh no... couldn't miss the opportunity to get in a dig at Obama, even in defeat...

So long, Cruz, please just go away now.

   

Surgery

Posted on Friday, May 6th, 2016

Dave!Sigh.

Every since I got an infection after an accident in the Costa Rican rainforest, I've been plagued with problems with my eyes. My vision goes blurry. My eyelids develop cysts. I experience shooting pain. They get tired easily. It's just a parade of misery that won't go away. And this past week I developed more cysts that my body couldn't eliminate, so say hello to my fifth surgery on my eyelids.

The surgery itself is fairly simple. They shoot hideously painful drugs into your lid to numb things down. They put a metal clip in your eye. They flip your lid. They slice it open. They cut the offending material out. They stitch you up. They unclamp your eye. They put a patch on you. You drive home.

Not entirely horrible, so far as things go, but irritating. I was completely wiped out when I got home and went straight to bed. Jake, who was apparently glad to see me, gave me mad hugs...

Jake Kitty Hugs

He was a little freaked about the appearance of my eye, however...

Dave Eyes

And the reason I knew this is that I looked up once he changed position and saw him doing this with his eye...

Jake Eye Twitch

And lest you think Jenny wasn't supportive... she took over when I moved to the couch. Like Jake, the freaky appearance of my eye was something she had to investigate...

Jake Eye Twitch

It's nice to have cats to help(?) with the recovery process.

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Caturday 3

Posted on Saturday, May 7th, 2016

Dave!When last we left Jake and Jenny, little Jake was being cruised by a horny lady-cat in heat in the middle of the night. She runs into the windows. She rolls around on the patio. She meows and hollers. Jake finds it amusing but, having been neutered, wants nothing to do with it. So as to not encourage whores on my patio, I've been closing the blinds at night.

In addition to the nightly display of eroticism, there's been a rather big breakthrough with Jenny.

Since I first got her months ago, she has refused to be touched. At first she would hiss at you in total fear if you even attempted it. Later she would just dodge you and run away. It's been terribly frustrating, especially since Jake has warmed up to the idea of being petted. He loves belly rubs...

Jake Belly Rubs

He especially likes my mom, and will throw himself in her path to get a belly rub from her...

Jake Belly Rubs

But not Jenny.

The only time I've been able to even touch her is while she's distracted eating. Any other time has been exceedingly rare, even when she's snuggled up on me watching television.

Then one day I'm finishing up some emails so I can take my mom to dinner. I look over and nearly fall off the couch when I see she's sitting there petting Jenny... and had been for ten minutes!

And that was that.

Now Jenny is crawling all over me to get petted. And if my laptop is in the way, she'll roll around on the coffee table until you pay attention to her...

If you turn up the sound, you can hear her purring away like an engine. It's as if she's never had a problem being touched at all.

In other cat news, Jake has gotten too fat for the window sill. He still likes to sploot (lay down with his legs flopped out), which is impossible in such a narrow space. So I built him a ledge to lay on...

Kitty Window Ledge

Kitty Window Ledge

As you can tell, Jenny likes it too. Which means I should probably build another one for the other side. Especially since they use it to hunt flies that end up in the window...

Kitty Window Ledge

Other than that, they're inseparable as ever...

Kitty Window Ledge

See you next Caturday!

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Bullet Sunday 474

Posted on Sunday, May 8th, 2016

Dave!The weekend may be ending, but there's still some awesome to be had, because a Very Special SUPER-SIZED Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Red Up! Trae Crowder has released another video and it's starting to look like this is not a fluke... he's funny as hell, dead on target, and the real deal...

"Now I don't know much about Kasich... apparently that somebitch eats the hell out of some sketti." — And in case you've now got a hankerin' for some redneck sketti, I'll share a video with the recipe (a tub of margarine microwaved with a bottle of ketchup and poured over spaghetti) courtesy of Mamma June...

Now that's some fancy cookin' right there.

   
• Mac-N-Cheez! And while we're on the subject of delicious pasta dishes, the college where this drunk kid attends must have the best mac-n-cheez on the planet, because... damn...

It's not often you see a man go to jail over mac-n-cheez! Oh, one last thing, apparently he's sorry now...

I hope he eventually managed to get that mac-n-cheez. It would be a shame to go through all that for nothing.

   
• Apocalypse! Apparently we're experimenting with reanimating the dead now. BECAUSE WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Have these morons seen, like, ANY ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER? No? Well carry on then. Carry on.

   
• Rex! No way. NO. WAY!

Kool-Aid!

Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid is back! Better run to the grocery store and stock up before Kool-Aid changes their minds and discontinues it again.

   
• GWEN! James Cordon's "Carpool Karaoke" just doesn't know when to quit! In case you missed it, another episode has dropped...

I hope James starts doing this with more esoteric artists in the future... it's just too good to be restricted to major pop stars.

   
• Judgement! Sometimes... not often, but sometimes... the humanity that's been lost in our justice system turns up in the most unexpected of places. Bless you, Judge Olivera.

   
• Problem? There's been an article by the Washington Post circulating which states that Republicans have a massive electoral map problem that has nothing to do with Donald Trump. Actually, I disagree. This has EVERYTHING to do with Donald Trump... and the candidates like him that end up on the Republican ticket. We're in an election where I will be forced to vote for Hillary Clinton, whom I loathe, just to keep the bat-shit craziness that is Trump the hell out of The White House. And Republicans have nobody to blame but themselves. GIVE US AN ELECTABLE CANDIDATE! One we can vote for without setting back human rights, social progress, and decency & compassion for our fellow citizens (and the rest of the planet) by five decades. Half my kingdom for an election where I won't feel like blowing chunks after casting my ballot.

   
• Suckerpunched! On top of making unbelievably shitty movies, here's yet another reason DC Comics needs to take Zack Snyder the fuck off their films. This asshole has no concept of what makes a good flick... let alone a good super-hero flick... and it's driving me insane. First he utterly destroys Superman, then he takes Christopher Nolan's terrific take on Batman and turns him into a psychotic moron. If, like me, you're waiting for video rental to see the horror that is Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, AND you don't give a shit about the movie being utterly spoiled, here's all you need to know about it.

   
And there you have it... more bullets than you can shake a stick at. See you next Sunday.

   

Biscuits

Posted on Monday, May 9th, 2016

Dave!Okay then... finished my home cooking for the month.

Because nothing tastes as amazing as a freshly-baked biscuits... and it's one of the few things I can make that always turns out great no matter how badly I try and screw it up...


Biscuits!

Biscuits!

The recipe was given to me in a travel forum, so I have no idea who came up with this bit of genius...

  • 4 cups Bisquick
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 cup 7-Up
  • 1/2 cup melted butter

Mix Bisquick, sour cream, and 7-Up. Dough will be very, very soft, but don't worry. Knead and fold dough until well-mixed (I spoon on some extra Bisquick after mixing until it's not quite so sticky). Pat dough out on Bisquick-covered board and cut biscuits using a round biscuit cutter (or cookie cutter). Melt butter in bottom of cookie sheet pan or 9x13 casserole dish. Place biscuits on top of melted butter and bake at 425° for 12-15 minutes or until brown.

Now, if you'll excuse me, biscuits, butter, and jam await me.

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Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8 GM

Posted on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

Dave!The minute I heard that Sony was releasing a professional-grade 24-70mm lens, I was intrigued.

For oh so many reasons, this is the perfect lens for general photography, but the biggest reason is that it fills a gaping hole in my lens line-up.

Which is currently like this...

  • Sony 10-18mm f/4 Zoom (with OSS).
  • <<< Sony 24-70mm f/2.8. >>>
  • Sony 70-200mm f/4 Zoom (with OSS).
  • Sony 35mm f/2.8 Prime.
  • Sony 90mm f/2.8 Macro Prime (with OSS).

See? It's a perfect fit! And the lens sounds too good to be true...

  • Stunning sharpness.
  • Quick focusing system.
  • Consistent f/2.8 aperture across the entire zoom range.
  • Sealed to resist dust and moisture.

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

Of course, it actually is too good to be true when you consider the following...

  • It is huge. Rendering the whole purpose of owning a compact mirrorless camera moot.
  • It is heavy. Seriously heavy at 2-lbs.
  • There is no Optical SteadyShot (OSS) in-lens.
  • It is unfathomably expensive at $2,200.

And yet...

This is the lens I need. Once it's on my camera, I can use it for 90% of my photography. For quick trips, it could very well be the only lens I take with me.

Of course, needing something and being about to afford it are two very different things. So I ended up selling some gear (including my amazing Sony A7s camera) to get it.

Totally worth it.

Yes, the size and weight are a bit of a bummer. But you can't have a feature-set like this without trade-offs. A few quick test-shots have confirmed that it is definitely fast and exceedingly sharp (bordering on what you get from a prime lens)...

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

Sony FE 24-70mm f/2.8

I'm sure I'll have more to say when I've had a chance to really put it through its paces. But, for now? Amazing, amazing glass.

   

Fostering!

Posted on Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

Dave!When I was contemplating adopting Jake and Jenny (and their brother Nick), I was able to speak with their foster parents, who were at The Humane Society waiting for the kittens to come back from surgery. After hearing what great cats they were, I didn't even wait until I could see them in person... I filled out the papers and paid the fee while I was waiting for them to come back.

Today the kittens' foster parents dropped by to see them 4-1/2 months later.

Unfortunately, Jake and Jenny decided to hide under the couch most of the time... Jenny doesn't seem to like strangers, and Jake follows her lead most of the time... which was a bummer, but it was still a wonderful visit because they were kind enough to share some early photos and videos of the kittens when they were fostering them.

Here they are on Day One...

Baby Kitties

Seeing how inseparable they were, it makes me even more sad that I didn't know I could "reserve" the kittens so I could have kept them all together...

Baby Kitties

Baby Kitties

Hopefully little Nick is happy and healthy in his new home.

Anyway...

Apparently Jenny, who purrs like a diesel engine for any reason at all, but especially when you pet her... has always done that...

   Jake may look quite a bit different now, but he acts exactly the same as he did when he was a kitten...

I swear I have videos of him now that are practically the same as this. He still loves to play with stuffed animals just like that!

Hopefully the kittens' foster parents will be able to come back again when the kids are feeling a bit more sociable. It's great that they are so wonderful and caring as to take in kittens before they can be adopted. That can't be easy work, and yet their hearts are big enough to make it happen.

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Auction

Posted on Thursday, May 12th, 2016

Dave!And so the reprehensible piece of shit George Zimmerman is auctioning off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin.

Yes, you read that right.

I remain convinced that the evidence did not support Zimmerman's story. I am steadfast in my belief that Zimmerman is a lying, violent, psychotic asshole, and his history after he escaped justice backs that up. And even if none of that were true, the fact remains that this is entirely his fault. Had Zimmerman called in his racial profiling of Trayvon Martin "walking while Black" into the police... AS HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO AS A NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH VOLUNTEER... instead of grabbing his gun and playing vigilante lawman... Trayvon Martin would still be alive for daring to eat Skittles and drink a Snapple with a hoodie on.

AND NOW THIS? Fuck this heinous blight on all humanity and may he burn in hell for all eternity. There remains NO JUSTICE FOR TRAYVON MARTIN, and anybody who doubts the need for the Black Lives Matter movement need look no further than this. Indeed, Trayvon's life matters so little that respect for his life is non-existent to Zimmerman and anybody who supports this disgusting turn of events in an incomprehensible chain of events.

And now bring on the Rednekistan rhetoric of me "hating my own race" as opposed to demanding justice for all races. I'm getting used to it.

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Civil War

Posted on Friday, May 13th, 2016

Dave!As a huge, huge, massively huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films, you would think that I'd have seen Captain America: Civil War on opening day. And heaven only knows I wanted to so as to avoid spoilers that plague the internet... but work got in the way. Today I had to run an errand for work, and decided to see the film on the way back home.

And it. Was. Spectacular...

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

I'm putting my full comment in an extended entry so people who haven't seen it yet can do so... but, suffice to say, it's absolutely everything you want in a comic book movie. Go see it immediately.

For everybody else? Continue at your own risk...

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

Caturday 4

Posted on Saturday, May 14th, 2016

Dave!And here's yet another random sampling of cat-related incidents to occupy your Saturday...

Both Jake and Jenny are getting more angular and "feline-looking" as they get older. It's especially apparent with Jake and the dark shading he has around his nose...

Caturday Cat!

Caturday Cat!

   
Jenny continues to have bad dreams from time to time, whic always results in snuggling with her brother. This time he actually put his arm around her...

Caturday Cat!

Which she appreciates...

Caturday Cat!

   
They usually sleep on their Kitty Condo Tree, but a couple times a week they sleep on my bed...

Caturday Cat!

   
Jenny's biggest struggle each day is deciding whether or not to ambush her brother...

Caturday Cat!

Caturday Cat!

And... she did.

   
And, oh yeah, the kitty whores in heat are still dropping by...

Caturday Cat!

Caturday Cat!

Jake always seems to enjoy the show.

   
And that wraps up another Caturday!

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Bullet Sunday 475

Posted on Sunday, May 15th, 2016

Dave!Don't fret about the future, because an all-new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Finale. The Ambulance Wish Foundation is a Dutch company that helps the terminally ill realize their last wishes...

Ambulance Wish Foundation

What would your wish be? Mine? Well... a trip to see the sunrise from the top of Haleakala on Maui would probably not be possible... it would need to be something local... or maybe I could make it to Seattle? So perhaps I'd ask to see the sunset over Seattle from Alki or something like that. Something with the sun rising or setting would be nice.

   
• Hemnes. Last night the thing that everybody said would happen... happened. My IKEA Hemnes bookcase had shelves collapse. I thought people were exaggerating about the problem, but now I find myself having to unload everything, screw the shelves in permanently, then load everything back up. I thought it was isolated incidents by people who assembled the bookcase wrong, but no. What a load of crap. People have been complaining about this forever, and IKEA has done nothing... nor have they made any changes to the design.

   
• Typical. Anti-gay pastor faces 70 counts of distributing, possessing, or viewing child pornography. Why am I not surprised? It seems that the people so hot to tell us who we need to be afraid of are all too often end up being the people we need to be afraid of.

   
• Roses! My bush sure is pretty now that it's in bloom...

Rose Bush!

Fortunately, the previous owner had a green thumb... and my regular thumb hasn't killed everything yet.

   
• Cap? Oh man. Saw Captain America: Civil War JUST IN TIME... an ad just played on television which gave away the biggest surprise of the movie. And for what? Why? Why would they do that? I guess to entice the millions of people who've already seen it to go again, because it's certainly not doing people who haven't had a chance to see it yet any favors.

   
• Freedom? And speaking of America... In Tennessee, a kindergarten teacher says a Latino child — told by classmates that he will be deported and trapped behind a wall — asks every day, “Is the wall here yet?” This is the America we are building Guess this great experiment is coming to an end.

   
No more heart for Bullets today.

   

Flowers

Posted on Monday, May 16th, 2016

Dave!The previous owner of my place loved flowers, so I was very lucky to inherit her hard work. I've got planters in the front, irises on the sides, and a pretty flower garden in the back (along with even more planter boxes). This weekend the flowers finally started to bloom, which means my back yard is looking better than the front right now...

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

The planter boxes I over-planted, badly, have completely taken over...

Flower Garden

...hopefully one of these days there will actually be flowers there.

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Cakes!

Posted on Tuesday, May 17th, 2016

Dave!

I'm a huge fan of rice cakes.

When you eat as much unhealthy crap as I do, you'd learn to love them too. They make a nice alternative from unhealthy crap when you feel the need to lay off the unhealthy crap.

And if that's you, I've decided to rank all the Quaker Rice Cakes flavors for you...

  1. CHOCOLATE. My hands-down favorite. Tastes chocolatey, but not too chocolatey or too sweet. I seriously love these things, and would often rather have them than a candy bar. You just have to remember to eat them up-side-down so the little chocolate chips melt on your tongue as you eat them for best effect. DID YOU KNOW... if you put vanilla frosting on them, they taste like crunchy chocolate cake!
  2. BUTTERED POPCORN. Not actually popcorn-flavored... at least not to me, but they do have a pleasing salty crunch that I'd rather eat instead of chips. Not popcorn though... Skinny Pop Popcorn still have these beat. DID YOU KNOW... if you spread actual butter on them, then pop them in the microwave for five seconds (or just BEFORE the butter starts to melt) they're actually pretty amazing.
  3. APPLE CINNAMON. Look, it's never going to come close to taking the place of apple pie... or even apple crisp... but thesand if you dip them in caramel sauce, they are unbelievably tasty. Like a crunchy dessert or something.
  4. CARAMEL. One of my most favorite rice cake flavors was Cracker Jack. I don't know what happened, but I can't find those any more. They were not terribly Cracker-Jack-like (no peanuts!) but had an actual butter-toffee taste that was vaguely reminiscent of America's fun-time snack. The caramel flavor is kinda-like Cracker Jack except it's got a dash of caramel flavoring to it. Unfortunately, it's a bit artificial-tasting, but it's certainly not terrible. DID YOU KNOW... drizzling these with a sugar-glaze and pecan pieces makes them taste pretty phenomenal.
  5. WHITE CHEDDAR. I'm going to put this out there... White Cheddar used to be my favorite rice cake flavor. They were almost mouth-puckering sharp which went a long way towards compensating for any hint of actual cheese flavor. But then something happened. Quaker drastically toned-down the "sharp" for whatever reason, and I found I didn't like them nearly as much. Also... like the Apple Cinnamon flavor... these fall apart easily and often come out of the package as crumbs. Very disappointing. DID YOU KNOW... if you melt actual cheddar cheese over these under a broiler (NEVER a microwave) they're great. If you dip the cheddar-covered rice cakes in warm pizza sauce, they're amazeballs.
  6. LIGHTLY SALTED. Not necessarily "boring," per se, but not very exciting either. I only buy them for those rare times I'm not feeling the other flavors. DID YOU KNOW... if you run out of clean dishes and have no cones, you can eat ice cream off of these? Useful!
  7. UNSALTED. Don't even bother. Fucking atrocious. DID YOU KNOW... nothing can save these. Nothing. Maybe sprinkling them with salt, spread them with butter, add a slice of cheese, then top with red pepper flakes... maybe that will help. I dunno.

And there you have it. All my favorite rice cakes.

Keep healthy-snacking, people!

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Shelf

Posted on Wednesday, May 18th, 2016

Dave!The cats want to be fed around 5:00-5:30... well before their 7:00am feeding time... and to show their displeasure with my insistence of starving them to death for an hour or two, they will hang out in my bedroom until I haul my ass out of bed and make them their breakfast.

I'm usually up around 4:00-4:30 working, so this doesn't bother me in the least. But, as Summer comes and more and more birds make their way to my neck of the woods, it's gotten more and more irritating. Because Jake and Jenny see the birds out the window, but the window sill is too narrow for them to jump onto from the bed. So instead they sit there and cry or chatter at the birds they can't see too well...

A couple days ago I decided to remedy this by getting a cat shelf at Petco. I would have made one (like I did for the living room window) but I just don't have the time. It seemed a bit pricey at $29, but it works. Jenny took to it right away, while Jake was a bit wary...

Kitten Shelf

But he finally came around yesterday afternoon...

Kitten Shelf

Good thing it's big enough for two... kinda. Jake's fuzzy butt usually hangs off a bit when they're both up there. Now they spend their mornings bird-watching instead of driving me crazy. Perhaps $29 wasn't too much to pay after all.

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Potty

Posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2016

Dave!Oh dear. Trae done got his red up again.

I don't consider myself a liberal (despite being liberal-minded) nor a redneck (despite living in Redneckistan)... but I want to have Trae Crowder's babies. He is so flawlessly on-point in his videos that nine months of suffering would be worth it...

Give this guy a TV talk show. In character. Seriously.

   

Choice

Posted on Friday, May 20th, 2016

Dave!Today in "smaller government" and "fiscal conservatism"... piles of money was wasted on an unconstitutional bill that puts The State in control of your vagina in Oklahoma.

Look, my faith is such that I'm not a supporter of abortion. There are exceptions, of course... if the mother's life is in danger or if the mother will be harmed mentally or physically by bringing the baby to term... things like that. But you know what? THIS BEING *AMERICA* AND ALL, IT'S MY FUCKING CHOICE TO DECIDE WHAT I GET TO BELIEVE! And... oh yeah... IT'S NOT MY FUCKING VAGINA! Which is why I firmly believe that it's not the government's job to force my beliefs on other people. For me, a life begins at conception. For others, a life is a soulless collection of cells that has no life outside the mother's womb. For still others, an embryo is devoid of life until a certain point of development. It goes on and on, and who can say what the ultimate answer is? Which is why I'm steadfast pro-choice and find this kind of heinous legislation anti-American, anti-woman, and even anti-human. Fuck you and your fascist bullshit, Senator Dahm. You've made lives substantially worse for women having to make one of the most difficult decisions of their life... by writing a law which forces them back to coat-hanger abortions and back-alley surgeries. You're not saving lives... you're endangering them.

UPDATE: It's not that I expect sanity from Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin, but sometimes miracles happen.

   

Caturday 5

Posted on Saturday, May 21st, 2016

Dave!For the past month or so, I've noticed that Jake and Jenny occasionally gets so wrapped up in something out the window that their jaws start shaking. For the longest time I've been terrified that it's a prelude to epilepsy or something equally terrible, but have been ignoring it for my own sanity. Recently Jake did it again and it freaked me out so bad that I took to Google to see what might be wrong with him...

...and found out it's perfectly normal when some cats get excited about possible prey.

   
When I'm not available to give Jake a belly rub, Jenny steps in...

Kitties!

   
Now that I'm switching from thrice a day to twice a day feedings, I thought I'd move breakfast from 6:30 to 7:30. But it's impossible to resist the kitties when they come in at 6:45 and demand food. And by "demand" I mean "be so adorable that I just can't stand to deny them anything."

Kitties!

   
Now that Jenny has decided she likes to be petted, she's been running to greet me whenever I return home...

Kitties!

It's the best part of my day!

   
When I'm laying on the couch working, Jenny has been laying on the floor next to me. I put a kitty bed near me against the wall because I was worried I'd forget she was there and step on her. Worked like a charm three days running!

Kitties!

   
And... somebody is reminding me to take a break from blogging...

Kitties!

   
Until next Caturday...

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Bullet Sunday 476

Posted on Sunday, May 22nd, 2016

Dave!Sunday is as Sunday does, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• 1975. When it comes to music, The 1975 is my current favorite band. Somebody Else is my favorite song of their latest album. Probably in my top ten of favorite songs ever. Recently Matt Healy and Adam Hann stopped by a radio station to perform the song live...

Pretty incredible considering half the band is missing and they are recording under less than ideal circumstances!

   
• Banzai. When it comes to cult favorite cinema, Buckaroo Banzai is at the top of my list. I've seen the film dozens of times and even have a quote from the movie tattooed on my arm...

No matter where you go... there you are.

As you can imagine, I have mixed feelings after hearing that Kevin Smith is helming a television series based on the film. On one hand... more Buckaroo Banzai! And by a filmmaker I really enjoy! On the other hand... this could be a complete disaster. The original movie was like lightning in a bottle, and the chances of lightning striking twice with material this bizarre is incredibly slim. Of critical importance is getting the right cast, and I really hope Kevin Smith is up to the task. If he's just going to toss in his roster of regulars, I'd be very surprised if the show has a chance. Fingers crossed.

   
• Dance. This video is pretty great...

The guy has moves! And insane pants!

   
• Logo. As somebody who does graphic arts for a living and has created more than his share of logos, it's tough for me to be critical of what other people do... I know just how tough the work can be. That being said, the logo revision for DC Comics is just so busted and weak that I can't stay quiet...

DC Comics Logo Madness

Seriously, look at how wonky the "C" is with that upper serif curving out of nowhere for no reason at all. And those back-cuts in the counters are such a laughable way of trying to "customize" a traditional typeface... especially given how badly they compromise the integrity of the letterforms. When it comes to logo designs, this is about as bad as it gets. I mean, it doesn't even have symmetry across the center-line...

DC Comics Logo Madness

But, then again, this is the company that has Zack Snyder shitting all over their movie properties like piles of putrid stank, so I'm hardly surprised nobody at DC stepped up and said something. Blergh.

   
• Bustin'. As a massively huge fan of the original Ghostbusters, I was more than a little upset at the prospect of the franchise being rebooted. But then the new trailer dropped...

And now I'm starting to have a little faith.

   
• Rights. I have been waiting for The Daily Show to post this, because it's just so dead on-point...

I am getting so sick of this ridiculous crap.

   
And away I go...

   

On Trek

Posted on Monday, May 23rd, 2016

Dave!It wasn't that I didn't like Star Trek Into Darkness... it's just that any movie which attempts to remake the best of the best Original Series films (namely: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan) is doomed to fail. I spent most of the film remembering back to the original instead of focusing on what was in front of me.

Ultimately I enjoyed, Into Darkness, but left the theater thinking "Why in the hell couldn't they come up with their own story instead of recycling what's already been done?

Lucky for all of us, it looks like they're back on Trek...

I will be very interested in seeing how this shakes out.

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Toys!

Posted on Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

Dave!So... a really good day to be one of my cats.

Long-time blogging friends Poppy and Dawg sent a Kitty Care Package for Jake and Jenny that came filled with all kinds of stuff they quickly became obsessed with...


Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Kitty Toys from Poppy and Dawg!

Jenny is especially obsessed with the soft rainbow toy...

And, no surprise, Jake has laid claim to the Crunchy Monkey stuffed toy (he loves stuffed animals!)...

   
Thanks so much to Poppy and Dawg for making my cats' week!

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Florals

Posted on Wednesday, May 25th, 2016

Dave!It's expensive keeping up with the Joneseses.

My neighbors have been stepping up their gardening game lately and the neighborhood is awash with flowers.

Except for me. My irises have all died off, the spice tub has gone to seed, the pots of roses are done, the dogwood is back to leaves-only, and the planters are pretty much finished. I got nuthin'.

Which necessitated my pulling out the spice garden (which I would never use anyway) and a pot of dead stems so I could plant petunias... on sale at Home Depot 6/$6...

Flower Garden

The spices got their revenge, however, as my hands smelled like rosemary(?) for the rest of the day.

That helped a bit, but my yard still looked a bit bare, so I decided to go for a hanging basket. It's nice, I guess, but I didn't notice the plastic pot was cracked when I got it (FOR TWENTY-SIX FRICKIN' DOLLARS!) so I'm sure it will be falling through the bottom any day now...

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

My back yard, on the other hand, is just now starting to bloom. The previous owner has all kinds of roses and stuff in the back flower bed, which is pretty sweet...

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

Flower Garden

I wish I could have swapped the front and back of my home... it would have been a lot cheaper than having to buy a bunch of new pretty junk.

   

CATBUTT!

Posted on Thursday, May 26th, 2016

Dave!Okay then... three days in a row... I guess it's become a routine. Every morning Jenny will present me with her morning kill (in the form of a toy), meow a couple times, proceed to crawl all over me for pets until she's sufficiently purry, then start waving her butt in my face when she's tired of my not getting up and unleashing the food bag...

Jenny the Cat!

Jenny the Cat!

And here I thought waking up with a dead hooker in your bed was the worst way to start your day... I think cat butt has it beat.

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Batty

Posted on Friday, May 27th, 2016

Dave!Holy crap!

It would seem that DC's not-a-reboot reboot Batman has a super-power now... IN HIS PANTS! Apparently DC is now hiring porn artists for its new books? Batman's dick looks like it could punch through steel. Or possibly... A MAN OF STEEL? Talk about the ultimate Batman vs. Superman scenario. What in the hell is going on with REBIRTH?


Bat Dick

   
Yeah. Taking the opportunity to just dump all my DC reads now. Haven't enjoyed them in ages, and this ain't making me change my mind.

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Caturday 6

Posted on Saturday, May 28th, 2016

Dave!Jenny and Jake are still crazy about the big box of toys that Poppy and Dawg sent them.

A surprise hit has been Cat Crazies. They're kinda like the rings on a plastic milk jug... but with waves and ridges that the kitties can grab onto and cart around in their mouths...


Cat Crazies

Cat Crazies

Cat Crazies

Cat Crazies

   
Pretty much how I wake up every morning...

   

The two kitty whores in heat are still putting on performances for Jake most nights...

Cat Whores in Heat

Cat Whores in Heat

I wonder how long cats stay in heat? This is getting a little crazy.

   
Until next Caturday...

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Bullet Sunday 477

Posted on Sunday, May 29th, 2016

Dave!Don't let the depressing lack of Saturday get you down, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Tarzan. As a massively huge fan of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, I'm pretty much done with the Tarzan movie adaptations (if that's what you can call them). The number of times I've seen The Lord of the Jungle reduced to a grunting ignoramus is legion, and has nothing to do with the actual character. Tarzan is a literal genius who speaks dozens of languages and, when he's out of the jungle, highly cultured as well. So you can imagine my eye-rolling reaction to the news that there's a new Tarzan movie coming out...

Except... apparently the movie starts out with Lord Greystoke (aka "Tarzan") in London's high society, his jungle adventuring days long behind him. Sooooooo... maybe? Heaven only knows that I'd love to finally see a half-way decent Tarzan on the silver screen. The special effects are sure up to the challenge. Alas... the heinous memories of the John Carter movie (Edgar Rice Burroughs' other famous creation) still linger...

   
• The Force. If you're a fan of Star Wars, then here's the site for you...

swanh

Amazing. Keeeeeeep scrolling...

   
• Uhhhhhhhhhh. ZOMFG! YOU CAN'T HAVE GUNS IN JAIL? WTF?! So much for "American freedom!"

Bundy

I cannot believe these stupid assholes. We have sterilized the entire Bundy clan after this idiocy so they can no longer breed, right?

   
• Taco! IT'S PEOPLE! THE TACOS AT TACO TIME ARE MADE WITH PEOPLE!

PEOPLE ARE OUR ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT!

Delicious people! Totally rethinking my stance on vegetarianism...

   
• Picard! Captain, let's beam down to Rigel for some whores and blow!

License Plate MAKEITSO!

Always good to be a starship captain!

   
And... on that note of ultimate Trekiness... I'm out of Bullets for this week.

   

Memorial

Posted on Monday, May 30th, 2016

Dave!To all those who made the ultimate sacrifice in service of our country, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I should probably leave this Memorial Day entry just there out of respect for those brave souls, but...

With each new Memorial Day I look at the sorry state of the USA and feel as though those who gave their lives for it may have died in vain. And I take no pleasure in saying that.

Everything we are... everything we've built... everything we stand for... all of it... seems as though it's come to nothing except divisiveness and hatred. And it drives me insane. We can be so much better than this. But inclusiveness and mutual respect have become a thing of the past, and we're on a course of destruction that has me thinking we're never going to get them back.

But could we if we really wanted to?

It undoubtedly has to start with electing politicians who give a flying fuck about the people they're supposed to represent instead of electing politicians who only care about sucking special-interest dick to keep the money flowing. Re-election is an expensive business, after all, and thats the only thing our politicians truly give a shit about.

It certainly isn't us.

And so the Powers That Be who actually run the country keep us at each other's throats to distract everybody from their real agenda.

Which definitely isn't us.

So how do we convince "the people" to change the system and start giving us a government that's of the people, by the people, for the people... once again?

I have no idea.

But it should probably start with reminding them of those who sacrificed their lives so we even have the opportunity to have a government that's of the people, by the people, for the people.

Happy Memorial Day.

   

Limited

Posted on Tuesday, May 31st, 2016

Dave!FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK!!!!

The best show on television... most of the time... is no more.

Of COURSE Limitless gets canceled so CBS has room to stink up the airwaves with more idiotic crap that appeals to the lowest possible common denominator. We can't have a show that requires a little thinking and imagination. That just doesn't sell.

Limitless

So many great shows get shoved by the wayside. I don't know why I even bother.

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