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Suffering

Posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

Dave!My best friend right now is my heating pad.

And my pain medication.

Between my two new best friends and being very careful, I'm slowly recovering from whatever it was I did to wreck my back this past weekend. Today I was able to sit at my desk for six hours, which is almost double what I managed yesterday. And now I am going to see if I can get through the night on a half-pill instead of a whole one. Hopefully I am mostly recovered before my plane-ride on Thursday, as it would be nice to not be suffering all the way through it.

Though, according to some people, my suffering is not long for this world.

I got an email from an old co-worker telling me that they ran across a motorhome which had "Awesome news! The end of the world is May 21st! The Bible guarantees it!" painted on it. Since he knew I have studied many of the world's religions, my friend asked me if I had any inside information as to whether this was true. If it were true, he joked that he wouldn't bother going to work in the morning. I wrote back and explained that The Bible specifically says in Matthew 24 that nobody but God knows when the end of the world is coming... so anybody following The Bible who says that they've "decoded" some kind of definitive date is gravely mistaken.

But then I got curious, so some Google research led me to a website for the people driving around in that motorhome...

Doom Buggies

They're claiming Judgement Day is May 21st, which is technically not the end of the world... it's the beginning of the end if you believe what The Bible says.

The website itself is pretty dope and a wild read. They provide their "proof" by doing some whiz-bang calculations about one day for God equalling a thousand years for us, and how seven years after The Great Flood is when the earth is ending. They further back this up by revealing "a sign" that The End of Days is upon us.

And what is this sign? What is this undeniable proof that the end of the world is nigh?

Wait for it...

Gay Pride.

Yes, once again it's the gays who are to blame! These people have an entire section on their site devoted to it...

Gay Pride: Sign of the End!

Of course, if you've been reading my blog for a while, this is nothing new.

Oddly enough, my interpretation of The Bible is such that "reading signs" and using hokey math to predict Judgement Day is paramount to divination, which is condemned by The Bible is no uncertain terms, but whatever. The Bible is interpreted a million different ways, so who am I to judge? I'm not even a Christian for heaven's sake.

In many ways I feel sorry for people like this. They sell everything they own and drive around the USA in motorhomes warning everybody that the world is ending real soon now because May 21st is Judgement Day.

But what happens to them on May 22nd when it turns out to be just another day because their God had other plans?

Oh well.

Personally, I think the world already ended back in February. How else can you explain THIS...

THERE'S your sign!

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Comments

  1. Nomad says:

    Oh god, it took me three days to get that stupid song out of my head the last time I heard it! The weird part I had to watch the whole thing to be sure it was stupid or just more commercialized pap.
    Compare this from PS22 a fifth grader from Staten Island. When I think of the end of the world, it helps to watch something from PS22.

    • Dave2 says:

      Thanks for the tip.

      Though I find it a bit depressing that you are further torturing me right before the world ends! I mean, come on, don’t I deserve at least ONE nice day before the earth asplodes?
      :-)

  2. the muskrat says:

    This is ridiculous. As you state above, if crazies like this happened to, by accident, get THE DATE” right, I’m sure God would postpone the event, since the Bible tells us no one will know.

    Save Dave! I’ll put it on a water tower shortly.

  3. LeSombre says:

    I saw one guy with a sign for that this morning on my way to work. Canada doesn’t even get painted vans? What are we some second-rate end-of-the-World country?

    Have you watched our election Monday?

    • Dave2 says:

      All your money goes to free health care. There’s no money left for painted vans. Thankfully I live in Real America where we’ve got money to blow on such wonderful displays of excessiveness! Sure it’s a big price to pay, but people who get sick probably deserve it.

  4. Art says:

    Oh so its gonna be like that? I’m appalled that you have to take your lack of music appreciation out on poor lil Becca Black.
    I knew the stupid Gays would screw everything up when we finally had world peace. Stupid Gay pride.
    On May 22nd they just paint 2012 over that bitch and get back to gathering donations. Change the website and redouble their efforts to paint the Gays as the harbingers of doom.
    Maybe part of the destruction of the church he talks about could have a little to do with false prophets trumpeting about the end of the world.

  5. martymankins says:

    Now that you and Kapgar have done it, I might have to find a reason to embed that “Friday” video in one of my blog posts.

    All of these experts about the end of the world must have forgotten to read that part in the bible you mentioned above.

    • Dave2 says:

      Actually, these people mention it… but never directly address it. Instead they throw on more hokey math and signs of the apocalypse as “proof.” I guess we’ll all find out in a few weeks now.

      But why does Judgement Day have to happen on a Saturday? NOT how I want to spend my weekend, and the weather forecast is looking lovely!

  6. Megan says:

    I will not click that video, I will not click that video, I will not click that video…

    I only have to hold out a couple of more weeks and then it will all be over, right?

  7. I saw a billboard about this Judgement Day on May 21st. I just laughed. Is that wrong?

  8. Cricket says:

    GAH! That video had no redeeming qualities…

    The Christians just wanted to upstage the Mayans. “Our doomsday is fiiirst. Nyah Nyah Nyah”

    • Dave2 says:

      Except… the Mayans never said that the world is ending in 2012. That’s just a Western interpretation of a Mayan astronomy. Archeologists have found other dates in Mayan ruins going as far as the year 4772! So I’m afraid the only competition for these people is between them and God. :-)

  9. Sybil Law says:

    I have nothing to say about the crazy asses except what you said and a hearty AMEN.
    I do hope your back feels better soon!

  10. Stacey says:

    Ugh. It’s on May 21 now? I’m glad I always write “The End of the World” on my calendar in pencil.

  11. Peggy Archer says:

    Ugh. Those ‘end of the world’ nutbars have been taking out BILLBOARDS here in Los Angeles.

    Interestingly, there are two different groups. One claims the world ends on May 11, the other on the 21st.

    They just can’t seem to make up their minds. Is it too much to ask for them to be consistent with the bullshit?

  12. John says:

    You know, this May 21st thing is actually gaining a lot of ground. So much so that American Atheists went out of their way to pay for a billboard against it in the preacher who originated it’s city…they have an article on it at http://atheists.org/events/Rapture_RAMS
    Anyway, I’m throughly surprised that they’re still talking about it. Usually the hype around a doomsday prediction dies down as they get closer, because people will be less likely to remember who told them to sell all their stuff and become holy groupies. Sort of a liability thing.

  13. Mad William says:

    I almost hope that they’re right about this. The 21st is my birthday. It might be pretty cool to meet God on my birthday.

    I have a lot of questions.

  14. Suzy Hansch says:

    Too funny Dave! Thank you for sharing and doing the research for all of us! Hope you feel better soon.

    Suzy (Parkins) Hansch

  15. Mel says:

    My people, we has lots of powers.

  16. Invader_Stu says:

    If nothing happens on that date they will find some way to explain it. And any small event will become something they can point to and say “see”.

    Plus they can say it begins on the 21st but the final final end might be far off. People like that will find anything they can grab onto to make there belief still true for themselves after it has been dis-proven/nothing happens.

    (Let’s hope at the end of the month I am not eating those words but I don’t think I will be :p)

  17. Ren says:

    I forget but doesn’t that start a thousand years of suffering or something after the Christians leave? Or is it a thousand years of Christ ruling? Both? I think there’s a thousand years in there somewhere, so I’m not sure anyone should get their hopes up for a quick ending… particularly if those are God-years — yikes!!

  18. Invader_Stu says:

    And this morning I noticed posters up in Rotterdam about the 21st

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