And so... I've been using Mac OS X "El Capitan" Public Beta for a full day now.

Not terribly impressed. Some things I've observed in the past 16 hours...

• First the crap news. Apple STILL hasn't given users an option to have the menu bar persist in full-screen apps. And I just don't get it. I would love to be able to work in full-screen. But I need the information in my menu bar. Like the clock, for instance. Like the battery level, for instance. Like my VPN status, for instance. Like my calendar, for instance. — But here's the weird thing. Apple has added a new feature which does exactly the opposite. You now have the option for hiding the menu bar when not in full-screen! WHAT THE FUCK?!?? WHY?!??
• Visually, there's very little difference between Yosemite and El Capitan. The Spinning Beach Ball of Death is no longer gum-drop looking, but instead flattened out... and the system font has been changed a bit (for the better)... but that's about all I can see.
• One of the major things Apple is touting for El Capitan is an overall speed increase. App switching twice as fast... Two times faster display of first message in Mail... Four times faster PDF display... etc. etc. I don't really notice such drastic increases, but I'll take Apple at their word. Unfortunately, this speed bump seems to be coming at a price. The fan on my MacBook Pro keeps coming on. In Yosemite, it rarely did. I don't know if this is a direct result of El Capitan... or perhaps one of my background apps (like anti-virus or DropBox or whatever) not being optimized for El Capitan. Hoping eventually it will get sorted out, because the fan noise is annoying.
• I have found two incompatible apps so far. Fantastical 2 (download the beta for El Capitan), and SpanSieve (join the beta program to get a compatible version).
• I am a Spaces super-user. If I ever had to go back to a Mac without virtual desktops, I'd go insane. There has been some changes to both "Spaces" and it's parent app "Mission Control"... that I guess are good moves. I don't like that you no longer see tiny representations of your Spaces any more until you mouse over them... just text saying "Desktop 1," "Desktop 2," etc. but it's not a deal breaker. Just makes it more difficult to remember where you put things.
• Speaking of Spaces, Apple has now set "Dashboard" (their widget screen) OFF by default. I can only guess this means Dashboard is not long for this world, which fucking sucks. I set up Dashboard in my first Spaces slot and use it constantly.
• Apple has added the option to do split-screen apps, but it's implementation is total shit. Press and hold on the green "stoplight" control in the menu bar and you can drop the app window on the left or right side of your display. In the case of Mail, the window just gets resized. In the case of Safari, the window is scaled. No, I have no idea why there's a difference. But here's where Apple shits the bed... the apps appear to be considered "full screen" when in their split-screen region. Since the menu bar is now both split AND hidden, things get messy very quickly. Apple apps are consistently screwed up this way, but with NON-Apple apps, it's so much worse. Go split-screen with Acrobat Pro and you lose the menu bar entirely! And the disasters don't stop there. Sometimes you can't get out of split-screen. Sometimes you go from split-screen to full-screen for no reason. Sometimes windows go inactive when in split-screen. And as if ALL THAT wasn't enough... you can't use split-screen across Spaces! The two windows you want to go split-screen have to be in the same Space! Insanity. The hits go on and on. I guess this might be a nice feature once the bugs are ironed out, but I'll probably stick with Moom for Window management.
• Mail has a bunch of improvements... like tabs for composing multiple emails and gestures taken from iOS, which is nice. Being able to two-finger swipe on an email to rapidly trash a bunch of spam is sweet. But the one thing I really wanted for Mail didn't happen. A previous version of mail took away the user's ability to pick which SMTP server to use to send your message on the fly. This was a critical feature for me when traveling, and I'm pretty desperate to have it back. Nope. I understand wanting to simplify mail for people who don't need things like this... but come on. Give the people who need it the option to turn it on. Removing features like this is a big fuck-you from the "We Know What's Best for You" mentality at Apple. WARNING: For reasons unknown, I lost all my Mail account passwords after installing El Capitan. Luckily, I was able to get them out of Keychain on my office Mac since everything is synced (who remembers passwords anymore?) or else I'd be boned and have to change everything.
• Apple's system-wide search tool, Spotlight, has always been a pile of shit. In trying to make things simple, Apple just made it harder to use, so I pretty much never use it. With El Capitan, Apple has added a bunch of new capabilities and features to Spotlight... use natural language for requests... get limited info from the internet like weather and sports scores... that kind of stuff. If possible, I hate spotlight even more now. It's just a big fucking mess and a huge distraction. Thank heavens for third-party solutions that actually do search right (EasyFind, Alfred, Tembo, HoudahSpot, etc.).

A lot of things I'd liked fixed/changed, to be sure. But the biggest is my laptop fan going off and on all day long. It just sucks to have to listen to it all the time when I rarely had to with previous OS X versions. If this is the cost for speed bumps I barely notice, then no thanks. Hopefully Apple is on the case.

UPDATE: After futzing around with the CPU monitor, I think that it's Mail that's the culprit. Even when running in the background, it's pegged at 138%+ CPU usage. Quitting Mail lets my laptop run much, much cooler. Guess I might be needing to find a new app for email.

Another September, another Apple Event.

This time there were few surprises, as Apple rumor sites have had the skinny on what's coming for months. Actually, with the exception of the Apple Pencil, I don't think there were any surprises. But we'll get to that in a bit.

Apple Watch

• Until they make it thinner, I just don't give a crap. All the cool new features in the world don't mean a thing unless I actually want to wear it. Holy crap. You're Apple. Figure out a way of moving the battery to the strap or something.

iPhone 6S

• I covet the new 12MP camera. That also shoots 4K video. Which is amazing (assuming you've got the memory for it).
• DEEP. TRENCH. ISOLATION.
• At first I thought that Live Photos was gimmicky... until I looked at the gallery. Photos that come to life like this are pretty cool. Kinda like Vines, I guess. Facebook support is great... hopefully Vine will be supported too.
• 3D Touch (formerly Force Touch?) with Taptic Engine response and "Peek & Pop" looks wonderfully intuitive and useful. If developers start integrating it in their apps like the video showed, this alone might be worth the cost of an upgrade.
• Faster-Better-Stronger Touch ID is a welcome upgrade.
• The new "iPhone Upgrade Program" from Apple is interesting. A new iPhone every year so you've always got the latest. Unlocked for any carrier. AppleCare+ included. $36.58 a month for a 64GB 6S. That's $438.96 a year, which saves you around $200 from the cost of buying a new iPhone outright each year... $300 if you include a new AppleCare+ contract. Still, I don't know if this is something I'm willing to get into unless my mobile carrier will give me a discount on service since I won't be subsidizing a phone with them. I'm guessing that's not going to happen, and so... my 2-year contract with AT&T will undoubtedly be renewed. When is Apple going to create their own mobile network?
• UPDATE: Shit. No optical image stabilization on the 6S. You still have to go with the "plus" model to get it, which sucks, because I still find the "non-plus" models to be too big.

Apple TV

• Still no HomeKit. Holy shit is Apple fucking up on this.
• The new model is not the breakthrough Apple seems to think it is. Others (including Google) had a lot of these new features ages ago.
• Given how pathetic Apple's menu system is and how hard it is to do anything with the crappy Apple TV interface, slapping Siri on top of everything is appreciated... but doesn't do jack to solve the real problem.
• The new swipe remote is great. If there is one area Apple excels, it's boiling down complicated remotes to something elegant and simple. Nice.
• Siri's "What did they say?" feature which automatically jumps back 15 seconds AND temporarily turns on closed captioning is genius. The ability to access Siri info while watching AppleTV without interrupting what your watching is also very nice.
• The Apps feature, assuming they get some good games, could really put a dent in Wii, Playstation, and Xbox sales. Apple TV certainly has the power to play good games.
• Where my disappointment comes in is that I honestly thought Apple would be coming out with their own network content offerings, thus allowing everybody to build a cable package of only the channels they want to pay for. I am so sick and fucking tired of paying for an outrageously expensive cable package filled with tons of shit I don't want, but have to pay for. Oh well. It's coming one of these days. It pretty much has to, even if Apple isn't the one to do it.
• Given how much money I've got invested in iTunes Store media AND the fact that my Apple TV is really old... I'll probably go ahead and spend the $149 come late October (since I won't be playing games (I have consoles for that), the $199 version would be overkill). Blergh.

iPad Pro

Okay. I'm just going to come right out and say it... I want one of these things so very, very bad.

Surprise!

I've been jonesing for a graphics tablet with display for the longest time. Problem is they are incredibly expensive, and the stylus lag coupled with the thick glass above the display on more affordable models is a total boner-killer for me. But here comes Apple with a new "Apple Pencil" that apparently eliminates lag and is coupled with Apple's laminated display which minimizes the amount of glass between you and what you're drawing...

And, oh yeah... it's still an iPad, so it can do everything an iPad can already do on top of being a kick-ass graphics tablet display. Giving you a much bigger bang for your buck than purchasing a graphics tablet display alone.

And about that price...

$799 for a 32GB model (pretty useless if you're doing serious work)
$949 for a 128GB model (more realistic, but I was hoping for at least 256GB)

Add a $99 Apple Pencil and you're over $1000 for the model you want. Which hurts. But that's roughly what a Wacom Cintiq 13" HD Touch runs, and it can only do one thing (though, admittedly, it does it very well). So, assuming iPad Pro and Apple Pencil end up being as good as they look, APPLE! TAKE MY MONEY!

Guess we'll find out come November.

All things considered, a worthy Apple Event.

My favorite part of the show was closing it out with a great live performance by OneRepublic. My second-favorite was the news that Apple now has an Android app for transitioning from an Android phone to an iPhone. Classic!

   
As a Certified Apple Whore, I never feel more alive than when Apple releases something new that I want.

Why I won't be watching The Late Show with Stephen Colbert...

(Hint: It's the same reason I stopped watching Ellen)

   
I just don't get it.

I mean, yeah, I get it. It's a live show and you want to remind the television viewers that it's a live show so you have to break in with the studio audience every once in a while... but this is fucking ridiculous. It's almost a full hour of people screaming, yelling, and chanting which completely overwhelms the actual show. Sure it's annoying on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, but at least there it's tolerable. On Colbert it absolutely is not.

And now that The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore is starting up with the stupid-ass name chanting as well ("LARRY! LARRY! LARRY!"), I'll probably stop watching it too. I know his fucking name is "Larry," I don't need the audience fucking screaming it every ten minutes WHEN HIS NAME IS IN THE TITLE OF THE DAMN SHOW!

Next up? Laugh tracks. If you have to tell your audience when to laugh, YOUR SHOW ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY!

   
P.S. Also... YOUR LOGO IS HIDEOUS!

LET'S JUST FUCKING JAM EVERYTHING IN THERE SO IT'S AN UNREADABLE WORD BLOB! THAT'S THE TICKET!

Oooh! It's Labor Day, which is "No Labor Day" to most people, but definitely a Day of Labor to me.

Must be time for a meme!

1. Top 3 ice cream flavors. Chocolate-Almond, Vanilla Bean, Stracciatella (Gelato).
2. Top 3 Disney Movies. Lilo & Stitch, Aladdin, The Lion King.
3. Top 3 vacation destinations. Maui, Bali, New Orleans.
4. Top 3 places to shop. Los Angeles, Rome, Tokyo.
5. Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take. Geometry, History, Art.
6. Top 3 make up products. Stila Waterproof Eyeliner, Bobbi Brown Face Touchup Stick, Aveda Botanical Kinetics Hydrating Lotion.
7. Top 3 music artists. The 1975, Pet Shop Boys, P!NK.
8. Top 3 spices/herbs. Rosemary, Black Pepper, Sage.
9. Top 3 drinks. Coke, Lemonade, Jägermester.
10. Top 3 apps to use. Tripit, Facebook, Camera.
11. Top 3 months of the year. March, September, October.
12. Top 3 clothing items. Lucky Brand Blue Jeans, Hard Rock Cafe Classic Logo Shirt, Boston Red Sox Ball Cap.
13. Top 3 binge perfect tv shows. Veronica Mars, Friends, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
14. Top 3 romantic dates. Movies, Beach Restaurant, Maui.
15. Top 3 kinds of flower. Crocus, California Poppy, Daisy.
16. Top 3 christmas movies. Love Actually, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Home Alone.
17. Top 3 OTPs. Veronica & Logan, Spock & Uhura, Rory & Amy.
18. Top 3 quotes to describe your life. "No matter where you go... there you are."; "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."; "Don't eat yellow snow."
19. Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself. Honest, Loyal, Adventurous.
20. Top 3 kinds of candy. UNO Bar, Almond M&M's, Skor Bar.
21. Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active. Walk a city, ride a bike, run for a plane.
22. Top 3 spirit animals. Bat, Monkey, Cat.
23. Top 3 petnames. Button, Kitten, Baby.
24. Top 3 books read outside of school. Noble House by James Clavell, Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs.
25. Top 3 most used websites. Google, Facebook, Tumblr.
26. Top 3 people you last texted. James, Audrey, Jennifer.
27. Top 3 hashtags you use. #SorryNotSorry, #LifeIsTooShort, #NotAboutYouCouldBeYou.
28. Top 3 instagram accounts you follow. Dadcation, Jestertunes, MackintoshBraun.
29. Top 3 guilty pleasures. Television, Blogs, Facebook.
30. Top 3 summer activities. Travel, Work, Nothing.
31. Top 3 things to draw/doodle. Monkeys, Flowers, Bats.
32. Top 3 aesthetics. Simplicity, Zen, Modern.
33. Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars. Home, Airline Tickets, Donation.
34. Top 3 ways to treat yourself. Vacation, Travel, Sleep.
35. Top 3 celebrity crushes. Elizabeth Hurley, Danai Gurira, Betty White.
36. Top 3 books from your childhood. Curious George and the Hospital, The Secret Seven, Half Magic.
37. Top 3 accents to hear. English, Irish, Scottish.
38. Top 3 scents. Apple Pie, Vanilla, Cinnamon.
39. Top 3 "Friends" quotes. "I'm not so good with giving advice... can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"; "And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you wearing makeup?"; "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
40. Top 3 cupcake flavors. Kate, Lemon, Vanilla Cream.
41. Top 3 fruits. Apple, Banana, Pear.
42. Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from. David's in Spokane, WA; Pizza N' More in Wenatchee, WA; Just about anywhere in New York City.
43. Top 3 sports teams to watch. Boston Red Sox, Chicago Blackhawks, Gonzaga Bulldogs.
44. Top 3 crayola colors. Periwinkle, Scarlet, Black.
45. Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college. Uhhhhh...
46. Top 3 fanfictions you've read. Uhhhhh...
47. Top 3 people you miss right now. Howard, Erin, Pat.
48. Top 3 fears. Clowns, Heights, Not Being There.
49. Top 3 favorite literary devices. Irony, Epithet, Paradox.
50. Top 3 pet peeves. Chewing with mouth open, Clipping fingernails in public, Gum-smacking whores.
51. Top 3 physical things you find attractive. Eyes, Height, Hair.
52. Top 3 bad habits. Coke, Sugar, Coke.
53. Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have. Cat, Dog, Fish... Monkey, Ferret, Lizard.
54. Top 3 types of foreign food. Falafel, Bharta, Nan.
55. Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime. "I'm not sorry," "You are a decent human being," "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"
56. Top 3 dog breeds. German Shepard, Collie, Lab.
57. Top 3 cheesy romance movies. Doc Hollywood, Sweet Home Alabama, Notting Hill.
58. Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak. Japanese, Spanish, Italian.
59. Top 3 series (book, movie, television). James Clavell's "The Asian Saga," Star Trek, Veronica Mars.
60. Top 3 pizza toppings. Cheese, Pesto, Feta.
61. Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to. Daily Grace, SupDaily06, Jenna Marbles.
62. Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas. Curious George puzzle piece, Batman logo from bats, computer icons.
63. Top 3 awards you want to win. Nobel Peace Prize, Congressional Medal of Honor, Medal of Valor.
64. Top 3 emojis. Poop, Squint, Monkey.
65. Top 3 cars you dream of owning. Porsche Convertible, BMW Roadster,
66. Top 3 authors. James Clavell, Richard Back, Edgar Rice Burroughs.
67. Top 3 historical figures. Steve Jobs, Neil Armstrong, Blaise Pascal.
68. Top 3 baby names. Ellis, Jake, Ella.
69. Top 3 DIYs. Cutting Board, Shelving Unit, Shoe Rack.
70. Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors. Strawberry Banana, Pineapple Orange Guava, Apple Pear.
71. Top 3 songs of this month. The City, Settle Down, Girls.
72. Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked. Uhhhhh...
73. Top 3 villains. Scar, Ursula, Jaffar.
74. Top 3 Cities you want to see. Jaipur, Agra, Marrakech.
75. Top 3 recipes you want to try. Pop-Over Sweet Rolls, Stracciatella Gelato, Almond Bark.
76. Top 3 dream jobs. Translator, Astronaut, Batman.
77. Top 3 lucky items. Penny, Underwear, LEGO Keychain.
78. Top 3 traditions you have. Travel someplace new each year. Drink a new beer each year. Eat a new Pop-Tart flavor each year.
79. Top 3 things you miss about being a kid. Irresponsibility, Fiscal Indifference, Innocence.
80. Top 3 harry potter characters. Uhhhhh...
81. Top 3 lies you were told. Santa, Easter Bunny, You Can Trust the Government.
82. Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now. Pizza, Truck Stop, Sunrise.
83. Top 3 turn ons. Honesty. Adventurous. Exotic.
84. Top 3 turn offs. Lies. Slothfulness. Hypocrisy.
85. Top 3 magazines/news papers/journals to read. Thrice Fiction Magazine, Jupiter's Legacy, Sunset.
86. Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier. Politicians only care about themselves, Guacamole is food of the gods, if you don't love you, nobody else can.
87. Top 3 spongebob episodes. Dying For Pie, Rock Bottom, Band Geeks.
88. Top 3 places to be in the world. Edinburgh, Scotland; New Orleans, LA; New York, NY.
89. Top 3 things you'd do differently. Break up with her months earlier, Take the job, Say how much I really cared.
90. Top 3 TV shows from your childhood. Emergency, Wonder Woman, Star Trek.
91. Top 3 meals you love. Fettuccine Alfredo from Alfredo's alla Scrofa, Rome; Banana Macadamia French Toast from Kihei Caffe, Maui; Pasta Salvi from Salvi's Bistro, Columbus, OH.
92. Top 3 kinds of tea. Black, Oolong, Sleepytime.
93. Top 3 embarrassing moments. Forgetting dress shoes that one time. Losing those files that one time. Being wrong that one time.
94. Top 3 holidays to celebrate. Holi, Bodhi Day, Halloween.
95. Top 3 things to do in the rain. Sleep, Draw, Write.
96. Top 3 things to do in the snow. Sleep, Draw, Write.
97. Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o. iPhone, Red Sox ball cap, Keys.
98. Top 3 movies you'd like to see. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Captain America: Civil War, The Martian.
99. Top 3 art mediums. Watercolor, Acrylic, Collage.
100. Top 3 museums you've been to. The Vatican Museum, The Louvre, Metropolitan Museum of Art.
101. Top 3 school memories. Lunch, Recess, Mrs. Jones.
102. Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss. Liars, Hypocrites, Morons.
103. Top 3 pick up lines. Uhhhhh...
104. Top 3 sports to watch. Red Sox Baseball, Pittsburgh Pirates Baseball, Chicago Blackhawks Hockey.
105. Top 3 taylor swift songs. Uhhhhh...

Don't get all worked up...

...because a pre-holiday edition Bullet Sunday starts... now...

• Universal! Nice! Somebody truly deserving of being crowned Mrs. Universe...

   
• Horror! Do as I say, not as I do...

Unless "American" is a bastardized version of "English" where you get to use words improperly, make up your own words, ignore rules of grammar and sanity, and be incomprehensible when speaking. In that case, carry on...

   
• Trash! I wonder if idiots like Kim Davis have any familiarity with historical perspective. I'm guessing not. Because while she THINKS she is going to be looked upon as some kind of "religious liberty crusader" for refusing to follow the law and do her job... she is, in fact, going to be labeled a heinous bigot and massive hypocrite by future generations...

What's hilarious is that people defending this piece of shit keep bringing up that all her divorces and adultery happened before she became a Christian, thus are invalid. That's some serious bullshit. In all honesty, I don't care how many times people want to get married... do it until you get it right. But don't deny happiness to others when your past gave you every opportunity to find your happiness. That just makes you a fucking douchebag...

But Kim Davis was well on the path to douchebaggery when her dumbass lawyer compared being jailed for not doing your job to being a Jew in Nazi Germany.

   
• Jail? I, for one, welcome our new gay overlords...

Talk about historical perspective... this asshole has it coming in spades. Assuming anybody even cares. He'll be dead soon, and is probably best left forgotten. Even if it does sacrifice some entertainment value.

   
• Fair! Well slap my ass and call me Sally... Taco Bell didn't charge me the usual 50¢ to substitute rice for beef on my Chalupa! Thanks for finally stepping up and doing the right thing, Taco Bell!

Hopefully the new "Sub Rice for Beef" button is not just at my local Taco Time, but Nation-wide. It's been a long time coming.

   
• Drums! Questlove vs. Justin Bieber on the drums?!? So great...

Respect to Bieber for even attempting something like this. Even if I were a really good drummer, I'd be scared to face off against Quest, who is god-like with his talent!

   
And... no more bullets for you. Tomorrow's a National Holiday so of course I have to get ready for work...

Do companies stand behind their products any more?

I'm just asking because lately it's been like pulling teeth to get them to Do The Right Thing and either fix what needs to be fixed, replace what needs to be replaced, or refund when all hope is lost. I've got four such headaches brewing right now, and I'm at my wits end over how much time I've been wasting trying to get things settled. Everybody keeps dragging their heels or going non-responsive.

It's disappointing, to be sure.

But that's true of everything now-a-days, isn't it?

The news was on television while I was working this morning. They were running through all the presidential candidates and as each name was discussed, my disappointment grew. There is not a single candidate in the vast cess pool of presidential wannabes I would want within a hundred feet of the White House.

And it reminded me of that old internet meme "If Stalin ran for president as a Democrat and Hitler ran as a Republican, one of them would be president of the United States of America." And it's true. We have a two-party system which ends up with either the Democrat or Republican candidate in the Big Chair no matter how shitty a president they would make.

And since, in my humble opinion, everybody in the running right now would make a shitty president, well...

Scary.

And so typically disappointing.

NOTE: To start the audio on a Vine video, you have to click on the little icon in the lower-right corner to turn mute off...

To stop a video from repeating after you've watched it... just click on it.

And then...

I won't be blogging today. I haven't got time because I had a day of power outage followed by a day of driving to Spokane and back followed by whatever the hell this shit is that I've got going on today.

Oh... and also because I'm catching up on the funniest damn thing I've seen on the internet in ages.

It all started when "How British People Shower" popped up on my Tumblr last weekend...

I've been laughing off and on all week just thinking about it.

Turns out the guy's name is Arthur, and he has a Vine channel that's comprised of screaming at traffic and hanging out with his daughter. Among other things. All of it hilariously funny. And usually hugely offensive.

And here's a follow-up to "How British People Shower"...

Genius.

Arthur had a daughter a while ago, and she turns up in a lot of his more recent stuff...

Awwww.

Life lessons need to start early.

Arthur is an expert at childcare...

Arthur is a lorry driver (truck driver) and a lot of his earlier Vines involve being very cross about London traffic...

Very cross indeed...

Everyday life with Arthur is always interesting too...

And Arthur does love his fans...

But not as much as he loves his girlfriend...

Maybe...

And his mum, of course...

So... if you're not easily offended, be sure to check out the rest of Arthur's Vine feed.

You're welcome!