This morning I woke up to a fresh 9-inches of snow that magically appeared overnight.
Needless to say, I was not thrilled. I had to wait over an hour for the snowplow people to come dig me out so I could get to work. Not a good way to start the week.
In other news... OMFG!! TOMORROW IS THE MACWORLD KEYNOTE!!! I'm totally excited, even though his Royal Steveness won't be the one delivering it. Even worse, Apple has decided that this is the last year they'll be participating at MacWorld, which is a sad passing of a long-time tradition.
It may be my last shot, but I'm still crossing my fingers for iToast to be announced!
But I'd also settle for a $1000 price cut on the MacBook Pro.
Or maybe something new, like a MacTablet.
But mostly an iToast.
My blog is up and running again... just in time for Bullet Sunday!
• Interviewed. I've been interviewed by the new travel blog Sharing Experiences, run by travel writer Andy Hayes. There's kind of an important announcement I make there (especially if you're in the U.K.) so be sure to take a look!
• Better. I don't like 95% of the commercials that show up on television because they are annoying rather than entertaining in the way they sell their wares. A rare exception would be the absolutely brilliant and inspirational ads run by the Foundation for a Better Life. They're magic. This one is a particular favorite, despite the fact that it has bad parents in it who don't know how to watch their kid...
How much better would our world be if this is the way it worked all the time?
• Changed. Why is it that every time somebody changes their product, it turns out to be for the worse? Miracle Whip used to be a favorite sandwich condiment... until the dumbasses at Kraft switched from an oil base to a water base to save money. Now it soaks into bread too fast and falls apart in macaroni salad, which just blows. And don't get me started on the way that Kraft destroyed Boca Burgers when they bought out the company. Boca Burgers used to be my favorite food, now I can barely eat them because they are gag-inducing soggy, waggy, snotty, and shitty. Another tragedy was when General Mills "new and improved" my favorite childhood cereal, Cocoa Puffs. They used to be these deliciously puffy and lightly chocolatey crispy balls... but now they're dense, hard, and so chocolatey that they taste artificial, plastic and crappy. Recently I saw that they had a new cereal called "Cocoa Puffs Combos" and thought I'd give them a try. Imagine my shock when I found out that the Combos HAVE THE ORIGINAL COCOA PUFFS IN THEM! Finally, I can be Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs again!
• Remade. I've written repeatedly about my love for the best show every to air on television, Cupid starring Jeremy Piven and Paula Marshal. This morning I learned that the remake, which I'm assuming will be total shit, is going to begin airing on March 24th. What kind of fucked-up birthday present is that? Couldn't they at least released the real Cupid on DVD so I have something good to watch while Rob Thomas destroys his own show? Oh well, guess it's time to re-watch my Veronica Mars DVDs for the millionth time.
• Cupidity. One last rant before I go... even if Sony/Tri-Star doesn't want to go to the expense of producing the original Cupid episodes on DVD... why in the hell don't they put the episodes on the iTunes Store? The only expense is digitizing the show, which can't be much of a road block, after that it's all money in the bank. GAH! Stupid.
Now I'm cold and hungry and don't feel like blogging anymore.
w00t! I finally managed to fix my blog! Apparently, it was a "permissions" issue. Easy.
Today was a beautiful day, filled with sunshine and a relatively nice weather. This caused much of the snow on the roads to melt, which is great until around 6:30 when the temperature drops below freezing again. Then wet roads turn to ice. But they don't look that way in the dark... they just look wet.
Which is why an idiot driving the car behind me nearly crashed into my ass.
Instead they managed to do some wild acrobatics and swerve to a snowbank on the side of the road. They were going slow enough when they hit that there was no damage, but still... who doesn't understand the concept of water turning to ice when it gets cold? And why are the people who don't understand this concept still allowed to drive in wintertime? Shouldn't there be testing for this kind of stuff? It's not rocket science...
WATER + COLD = ICE = SLIPPERY!!
Perhaps I need to print that on a bumper sticker. Or add a chapter to my upcoming book explaining how ice works...
We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog program...
I still can't figure out what the problem is with my blog. If I insert an entry directly in to the SQL database and force a rebuild, it will show up no problem. But writing an entry directly fails. I guess I must have blown up something while trying to fix the admin search thingy.
Typical. It's not enough that my template still breaks under crappy Internet Explorer in the comments, now I've got something new to worry about. Meh. Maybe tomorrow.
Wah. I want a new blog.
Once again something is broked and I can't get today's entry to post. Comments still work just fine, so I have no idea what's going on. Again.
What a way to start the new year.
The last day of the year is great time to be a blogger. It's a time when you get to re-visit all your entries for the past 364 365* days and see just how pointless and futile your life really is.
As usual much of this year was spent traveling, and I managed to rack up 127,320 air miles on eleven airlines. This seems about average for me now, but pales in comparison to seven years ago when I would easily get up to 200,000 miles and beyond. I haven't yet decided whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it's nice to spend time at home every once in a while.
And now some choice bits of random Blogography crap from the year that was 2008...
JANUARY
• Made it to the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Biolxi at last, after my previous attempt was thwarted by Hurricane Katrina.
• Was finally able to admit it's all about me.
• I said my final words on LOLCats...
• Returned to Cologne, Germany so I could be attacked by bears and get insulted by Disapproving Poster Man...
• Visited Warsaw, Poland, which was amazing in ways that I just can't articulate...
• Saw the gayest building in all of Europe...
FEBRUARY
• Found out that Poland really doesn't like President Bush very much...
• But Poland totally loves me, which is all that really matters...
• Went back to Cologne so I could partake in the Kölner Karneval where I was given the hottest scarf ever, got to see transgender Viking warriors, and gape with awe at the giant flaming wheel of meat.
• Relived the horror of dating the "Do You Know Girl."
MARCH
• Attended the TequilaCon 2008 Planning Meeting in Portland, Oregon.
• Changed Blogography's header graphic and hung out with Mr. Bun before he was shipped off to Iraq...
• Traveled to Oslo, Norway on my birthday so I could FINALLY meet Ms. Texpatriate herself, Karla!...
• Spent the day in Bygdøy in Norway to see some of the most amazing shit on earth.
• Took the train to Göteborg, Sweden to meet my very good blogging friend Göran and take in the sights.
• Went back to Oslo so I could get the crap scared out of me and visit PERVY STATUE PARK!
APRIL
• Developed my own line of luxury condoms.
• Experienced the excruciating pain of kidney stones while in Salt Lake City, and finally got to meet Marty (albeit in a drugged-out state of pain-killer euphoria).
• Posted one of my most controversial DaveToons ever.
• Came up with a business plan for Davebucks Cocoa...
• Had my 5-Year Blogiversary celebration where I gave out my biggest prize ever...
MAY
• Goofed around in New York City with Vahid.
• Went to Philadelphia for THE blogger event of the year... TEQUILACON 08!
• Went to Philly Pride 2008 with Dustin and Vahid!
• Went to see Eddie Izzard perform in Chicago with Jenny.
• Explored the world of Webkinz.
JUNE
• Told my 20% coming out story.
• Developed the best software idea ever.
• Exposed the truth about gay marriage.
• Had an awesome time at Daveattle!
• Endured a dilemma with malt liquor...
JULY
• Shared a naked photo of myself.
• Talked about how moneybloggers ruin everything.
• Avoided being poisoned to death at Johnny Rockets....
AUGUST
• Found out I have mutant healing powers like Wolverine!
• Attended the wonderment of DAVECAGO!
• Delivered the winning prize for my Blogiverary 5 celebration by attending the very first Dave Louis event where I had the best orgasm of my life at Ted Drewes...
• Back to Salt Lake City so I could meet Marty again... this time without being drugged out of my mind.
• Theorized how my new diet might cause my ass to explode.
• Had big fun during an unexpected trip to Portland.
SEPTEMBER
• Went to Hawaii for vacation...
• Railed against the hypocrisy of John McCain.
• Reminisced about Blogography on the occasion of Google's 10th Birthday.
OCTOBER
• The inevitable finally happened when I met Wayne (and other cool bloggers!) at the first ever Davestin Event while saying hello to Karla (again) in Austin.
• Provided historical evidence of my chocolate pudding addiction...
• Back to Chicago for the TequilaCon 2009 Planning Meeting, where I finally got to experience Puppet Bike!
• Exposed myself in my most personal entry ever.
• Revealed my second-worst date of all time.
• Had an amazing time at DaveFrancisco.
NOVEMBER
• Off to Orlando for Avitable's Annual Halloween Party dressed as MURDER CLOWN!!
• Shared the joy of my Hannah Montana Musical Pen..
• Gave one of many reasons that Bill O'Reilly is a total fucking dumbass (as if anybody really needed me to tell them that).
• Explained Wisconsin to non-Wisconsonians.
DECEMBER
• Took a break at Walt Disney World.
• Visted the PostSecret exhibit in Arkansas.
• Got stuck in Seattle for a week thanks to Snowmageddon 2008.
• Lamented being trapped in a box.
And that was 2008. Everybody have a safe and happy New Year as we head into 2009, and thanks for reading!
UPDATE: *OMG! It was totally a leap year this year!
All the world seems to want nothing more than to stay contained inside the little box they call their life. They don't want to venture out... they certainly don't want anything new or different coming in. And the minute you try to cut a small hole in their box so you can say hello or share an idea, they've got the duct tape out to plaster over it. This wouldn't be too bad except these same people are intent of keeping everybody else confined in little boxes too...
The worst part is that you don't even get to choose your own container, other people pick it for you. The best you can do is decorate the inside of your box with cool stickers and stuff.
But I ran out of stickers years ago.
And now I'm just tired.
I am so tired of being trapped in this box I've been stuffed into.
Or, to put it another way... why? Why won't they let me order breakfast at McDonalds after 10:30?
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